The Sentinel Season 1 Gratuitously Detailed Episode Guide
by ZelempaOld version The Inconsistently Detailed version: briefer, pithier, less accurate.
***** 1x1 The Switchman Detective Jim Ellison has super senses; anthropologist Blair Sandburg explains; terrorist on a bus.
**** 1x2 The Seige Terrorists in the police department.
**** 1x3 Killers The younger man Jim used to hang around with and indoctrinate into the ways of the cop is killed, and emotional and sensory turmoil ensues.
*** 1x4 The Debt Blair moves in with Jim! Also there are gangs.
**** 1x5 Cypher Serial killer on the loose; Blair has lady troubles.
*** 1x6 Night Train Jim's senses go haywire from cold medicine. Also they're on a train, for some reason.
*** 1x7 Rogue Jim and Blair track down a rogue CIA agent. Also there is a canister of the ebola virus, for some reason.
**** 1x8 Love and Guns Jim tracks down smugglers, and Blair crams a six-month relationship into about thirty-six hours.
**** 1x9 Attraction When Jim becomes uncontrollably attracted to a woman, Blair knows something is wrong.
*** 1x10 Vow of Silence Blair takes Jim on vacation at a monastery, but a murder interrupts the peace.
Onward to Season 2...
1x1 The Switchman
I. The Jungles of Peru
We open at the Pentagon where some government guys are looking at a satellite photo of a downed plane deep in the jungles of Peru. It was carrying a team of anti-insurgence op guys led by Captain James Ellison. It has been missing since March 4, 1988.
A team of army rangers heads into the jungle to investigate the wreck and they find the bodies of all the men except Ellison. Suddenly, they're attacked with arrows!! Which for some reason are really scary to the commandos army with AK-47s. As native warriors come out of the woodwork and surround the team, the head army guy says, "Hold your fire! If they wanted to kill us, they could have already." Way to be, rangers.
From further back in the jungle, we see the aforementioned Ellison, in what we will come to know as his Jungle!Commando!Jim gear: bandanna on his head, war-paint on his arms, giant gun slung on his back. Close-up on his eyes (so blue!) and, across, the jungle, he focuses in on the head army ranger's ID patch. Oh my goodness! How does he do it?
Captain James Ellison
Jim approaches the head ranger. "Are you my relief?" The ranger is confused. Jim explains he has followed his orders, to organize a local militia. "These men and I have been holding the Chopec pass for the last eighteen months." Ranger guy gets a look on his face like, Ha ha, smile and nod, appease the crazy man! Jim doesn't help his sanity cred when he suddenly jerks his face up without warning. Army guy follows his gaze and sees nothing, but then a few moments later he hears birds and sees them pass overhead. He glances helplessly at the scary singleminded semi-native superpowered commando.
II. Cascade
Fog! Skyline! Title cards: "Cascade, Washington" and "5 Years Later." September '94? But actually I think it's supposed to be late '95 (when the show started IRL). We head over to the Cascade Police Department where Captain Simon Banks of Major Crimes is explaining a serial bombing case to some visiting forensics officers. "Welcome to Cascade; we have seven different kinds of rain here and 42 ways of ordering a coffee," he says. Got it. Cascade = Seattle. Lt. Carolyn Plummer of Technical Support explains that the bomber communicates by email, signing himself "Switchman." The emails are all taunts addressed to James Ellison. The forensics people ask to talk to Jim, but Simon and Carolyn explain vaguely that Jim is off staking something out or something and he'll be back when he feels like it. Because he's a loose cannon, and plays by his own rules, and, for some reason, still has a job! This will set the stage for all of Simon and Jim's boss-employee relations for the rest of the series.
Jim crouches in the woods, peering through binoculars. Don't get used to that sight. He turns back to his little campsight, and suddenly the sound of water boiling in his adorable little mess kit is too loud, and he frowns at it motionlessly for awhile. The sound of another cop calling him over a walkie-talkie eventually snaps him back to reality.
Suspect is entering the building! Jim leads a SWAT team on the old lumber mill. Inside, they can't find the suspect, but they do find a copy of "News Update" magazine, with a big picture of Jim.
That must be either a posed Jungle!Commando!Jim!Re-enactment! shot, or else one of the army rangers brought his professional-quality camera on the rescue mission just in case there were beautiful survivors.
Jim's attitude about the magazine seems to be Resigned Chagrin. Now that sight you can get used to.
Suddenly Jim smells gas which nobody else does. He follows it to a trapdoor; peering into the darkness, his pupils mega-dilate, and he sees a bomb. "Clear the building, NOW!" Jim and the team are just running out when the building explodes. Outside, Jim sees to sense something else, and he's poised, when a motorcycle comes zooming out of a cellar door, to jump onto it. That's one. When the cyclist looks round, Jim is confused and alarmed by his own super-lifelike reflection in the helmet visor, and he lets go and falls off.
Simon's office. Carolyn and Simon talk about the case a bit. As Jim enters, Carloyn takes off, quipping, "Whoof! Stake out a dumpster all night, Jimmy?" Jim sits in a chair and stares wordlessly as Simon chit-chats and pours him a coffee; it's unclear if he's zoning or just being rude. Eventually Jim asks for a leave of absence because he can't do his job properly. Simon thinks he's psyched out by the Switchman's personal vendetta. Jim is more concerned about his recent weird experiences: "I'm losing control of my senses; I don't know how else to describe it!" Simon resists, but Jim grits, "Either you grant me a leave, or I'll take one." So... that's where that gets left.
Next, Carolyn and Jim are at a restaurant together, nicely dressed. Carolyn is yammering on about her sister Wendy's wedding and suddenly Jim says, "Why are we here?" Oooh, screenwriting rookie mistake. He exposits, "I've asked you out before, but you always said no," just narrowly avoiding starting his sentence with "As you know..." Jim suspects she's just here to convince him to go back to work, and Carolyn insists she isn't, but then tries to get him to talk about it:
JIM: I don't want to talk about it.
CAROLYN: But if you did talk about it, maybe I could help you!
JIM (overlapping): So let's just drop it!
Carolyn gives up, saying, "Lights out, nobody home, or if there is, how would I know?" which doesn't really make sense but I guess she's saying Jim is uncommunicative and emotionally unavailable. The funny thing is, take the exact exchange above and replace "Carolyn" with "Blair" and it's a recipe for a swift and thorough Jim soul-bearing. But we're getting there.
Anyway, Carolyn's about to leave when Jim takes his first bite of food and immediately sputters and chokes and downs his wine. He makes a big scene, thinking he's being tricked or poisoned or something, but Carolyn tastes his food, and it's fine.
Carolyn is walking away in the rain when Jim runs after her, ducks under her umbrella, and apologizes. Then he kisses her. It's sort of inexplicable.
Remember, for future reference: Jim is heterosexual. Ignore any evidence you may see to the contrary.
They make out for awhile, then, "Maybe if you'd kissed me like that before, we'd still be married," says Carolyn, and walks off. Is that supposed to be a twist?
III. The Hospital
Jim gets up from an MRI machine and we get our first gratuitous Shirtless Jim scene.
The first of many.
But the eye candy doesn't stop there. An adorable little man with a ponytail and a labcoat over his beat-up jeans and Converse sneakers is heading down the hall. I rub my hands together gleefully. He enters Jim's room as Jim is shirting up, setting an early precedent for semi-nude conversation on this show.
HIM: Detective Ellison! I'm Dr. McKay.
JIM: Your nametag says 'McCoy.'
HIM (looking): Um... yeah! But the correct Gaelic pronunciation of my family name is 'McKay.'
McKay is a squirrelly long-hair who looks and approximately acts like the love child of Noel from Felicity and Mr. Turner from Boy Meets World, if that love child came out really short and spoke with an approximately 1:1 ratio of the word "man" to all other words.
Dr. McKay?
He tells Jim intensely, "You don't need medicine; you need information!" Jim: "What are you, an intern?" Because interns notoriously hate medicine! McKay insists, "Wait a second, hear me out here! Loud noises that shouldn't loud. Smelling things that no one else can smell. Weird visuals. Taste buds off the map, right?" "That's all in my chart," Jim points out. McKay says, "Yeah, but I bet I can add one more. A hyperactive tactile response." Off Jim's confused look, he clarifies, "Extra sensitive touchy-feely lately!" Jim snaps, "That's none of your business! Who are you, anyway?" McKay: "Hey, I'm no one. But this man, he is." He hands Jim a business card and vanishes into the night. Okay, so he just walks out the door--just as doctor with no name tag enters and introduces himself as the real McCoy. Oh, I just got that! I thought it was just a Star Trek reference. Slash prescient Stargate: Atlantis reference. Which in itself is a Star Trek reference, isn't it? Whoa. I just blew my own mind!
Speaking of which, someone is making a bomb. Tra la growing sense of tension.
IV. The University
Jim wanders around a tidy college campus. We get a close-up of the business card:
BLAIR SANDBURG B.A. M.A.
Department of Anthropology
[unreadably tiny contact information]
and as Jim lowers it, we see a door marked "ARTIFACT STORAGE ROOM 3," with a handwritten note taped under it reading "BLAIR SANDBURG." He opens the door to find a squirrelly longhair bouncily rocking out from a sitting position to some music with heavy percussion. It's McKay from the hospital, of course; his hair's down now, and he's wearing a funky vest the same round glasses. Seeing Jim, he grins and starts talking about the similarities between jungle rhythms and rock music. "I'm sure your dad used to stay that stuff all the time about the Stones, y'know, 'H-hey, turn that jungle music down!'" It's weird that Blair would assume Jim has a dad since he himself doesn't have one. Anyway, Jim, not amused, asks him to turn it off. You know, if I were Blair, and my one and only chance at an idea subject walked in the door, I'd try harder to keep him. But we're getting to that. This is a vital conversation, so let's just transcribe it.
JIM: Why are you in my face?
BLAIR: Oh, hey, look, I'm really sorry about all that Shakespeare stuff at the hospital, but I just had to find some way to get you into my area here to talk.
JIM: So talk.
BLAIR: Okay, all right, uh, here, please, take a seat here.
Blair nervously flits about, moving a pile of folders off a chair.
BLAIR: Have a seat, man.
Jim sits, still staring warily.
BLAIR: Y'see, uh, there's this nurse I've been... (He grins and pumps his fist.) Y'know... (Jim stares stonily, then looks away in distaste.) Tutoring. At the Med Center. And, she saw your chart and she faxed it over to me, and when I read the thing, man, it was just like, (Blair claps his hands enthusiastically) BANG! Holy Grail Time!
JIM: ... You're losing me, Chief.
ME: Awwwwwwww!
BLAIR: Okay. Um. My name is Blair Sandburg and I'm working on my doctorate in anthropology and you just may be the living embodiment of my field of study. If I'm correct, Detective Ellison, you're a behavioral throwback to a precivilized breed of man!
Jim stares. Blair laughs nervously.
JIM: Are you out of your mind? (stands, getting in Blair's face) You dragged me all the way over here to tell me I'm some sorta caveman?
BLAIR (frightened): Well, maybe I was a little out of line with that caveman remark, but, I mean--
Jim shoves Blair roughly against a wall.
Seriously.
JIM: Listen, you neo-hippie witch doctor punk, I could slap you off right now with larceny and false impersonation [Ed. note: Is there any other kind?] and you are heading real quick into harrassing a police officer! And what's more, your behavior is giving me probable cause to shake this place top to bottom for narcotics.
BLAIR: Whoa, hey, Joe Friday, relax! (regaining his courage, though he's still pinned to the wall) Look, you mess with me, man, you're never going to figure out what's up with you! (Jim lets him go, opening and closing his mouth wordlessly.) Now, I know about your time spent in Peru! And it has got to be connected to what's happening to you now. Let me just show you something here. (Blair walks behind his desk, and Jim looks off into the distance, mouth-breathing. Afterglow?) This is a monograph by Sir Richard Burton--the explorer, not the actor. It's over a hunnndred years ooold. [Ed. note: You'd think a hundred years would be a blip on the radar for a scientist... But maybe he's just trying to impress the layman.] Now, the idea goes like this. In all tribal cultures, every village had what Burton named "the Sentinel." [Ed. note: That's right. All of 'em.]
Jim turns the pages and sees an old photograph of a Chopec warrior, presumably a Sentinel.
Well, this proves it! I'm sold!
I'm going to switch to text now, because I don't want to trasncribe all the exposition, but basically, Sentinels kept watch over the village using hyperactive senses (Blair calls them a "genetic advantage" this time. Flattery will get you everywhere) which are honed by "solitary time spent in the wild." Adorably, Jim is nodding a lot now, and participating cooperatively in the conversation. For example, when Blair is describing hypersense cases and excitedly interrupts himself, "Oh, and in Vietnam, the army long-range recon units that had to--" Jim finishes his sentence, "Change their diet to fish and rice because the Conga scouts could smell a Westerner by his waste," nodding agreeably. "Right, right, exactly!" Blair beams. "I have hundreds and hundreds of documented cases of one or two hyperactive senses, but not one single subject with all five. You could be the real thing!"
Jim goes all soft and dreamy. "The truth is, I don't remember much of anything about the jungle." Blair suggests traumatic repression. Already, with the repression?! Also, here's my question: Jim knows there's someone on his trail who's been following his career and knows everything there is to know about him; why doesn't he suspect Blair of being the crazy Jim enthusiast/bomber? Oh well, he just doesn't, and as it turns out, he's correct not to. Jim wonders, "Why is this coming back now?" "I don't know, but you need someone who understands your condition," says Blair. "What's the payoff?" "My doctorate!" Blair puts his hands on Jim's shoulders. "I want to write about you! You're my thesis!" Jim shrugs out of Blair's grasp and walks out: "I've had enough." "Just think about it, okay?" Blair calls, and then, at the door, "OH WAIT THERE'S ONE OTHER THING I GOTTA WARN YOU ABOUT!"
Jim walks out into the street and immediately gets mesmerized by a red frisbee some students are throwing around. He doesn't hear the warning honks of an oncoming truck. "Look out!" cries Blair, running up and throwing Jim to the ground.
By the thighs?
They lie flat on the ground as the truck passes harmlessly over them. Blair gets up. "Oh, that really sucked, man!" I get the feeling they haven't really worked the kinks out of his dialogue yet. Or his wardrobe. His jeans have artful patches on the thighs. Blair tells Jim he has just experienced "the zone-out factor." The truck driver stops and Blair assures him on both of their behalf, "We're okay, man, we're all right." Jim, leading Blair by the arm: "Let's get out of here before I have to answer a lot of questions."
Perhaps Jim has been feeling extra-sensitive-touchy-feely lately...
Blair, his eyes lighting up: "'Let's'? As in 'we'? Great! I got some really specific ideas on how we could proceed here." I'll bet. "Come on, let's go, come on!" He pushes Jim bodily along.
...but Blair is just like that. In the background: I sort of want to make an A-Team from the college losers who are standing around being horrified at the truck accident and subsequent man-touching. Guy With Plaid Polo--superpower: wearing backpack on both shoulders for proper lumbar alignment! Jean Jumper Girl--superpower: Frisbee-catching and vague queasiness! Flowered Dress and Clasped Hands Girl--superpower: mousiness and closet slash fandom (before it was cool)! Guy with Mullet and Sunglasses and White Pants After Labor Day and Sweater Tied Over Shoulders--superpower: EVERYTHING.
V. The Wharf
Jim and Blair stroll through a crowded outdoor shopping center. Blair explains the "zone-out factor": "It's suggested by Burton's research that when a Sentinel's working his deal, he gets oblivious to the outside world, sorta like he has the blinders on. He usually had a partner around, someone to watch his back." Jim, drily: "You mean like you?" Blair, purposely ignoring his tone, and clapping him on the back: "Oh, yeah, beautiful, great idea, I'd love to!"
And that's how the kids got married.
Blair wants to do some tests, and Jim just wants to turn the senses off. Blair puts a hand on Jim's breast, forwardly, and says he doesn't know how. Besides, "you're a detective with hyperactive senses," he points out. "You're a monster, man! A human crime lab with organic surveillance equipment! What more could you want?" "Control," says Jim. Which tells us a lot about Jim's character. Blair says they'll work on that.
Blair asks Jim to smell the roses in a flower booth a ways away. Jim complains that he feels stupid, but then tries. Meanwhile, some girls come up to Blair and one flirts with him a bit. As they walk off, Jim cries, "Hey, I think it's working!" "86 that, 86 that," says Blair. "See that blonde over there? See if you can hear what she's saying about me." "I'm not helping you troll for co-eds, Short Eyes!" cries Jim. "She's a TA, I'm clean, man, now let's go, radar up!" Blair insists, with a cute series of gestures. Say what you want about this show, comedic chemistry between the leads is apparent from day one.
Jim finally concedes and hears the girl say, "Yeah, I'd go out with him, he's adorable. But he's never asked me!" Blair, boring holes into Jim's chin with his eyes: "Well?" "She thinks you're a dork," Jim reports spitefully, and walks off.
VI. The First Investigation
Simon, Carolyn, and bomb expert Taggart are at a crime scene examining a neutralized bomb they found when there's an explosion! They do not die. That night, at the station, Jim meets up with them with a new Switchman note he found in his "email folder." Simon asks Jim to come back to work, and he nods.
A red Jeep drives up to the old shell of a lumber mill, and Jim and Blair get out. Seeing the woodsy surroundings, Blair suggests that the extended stake-out reinitialized the Sentinel thing. Jim expresses doubt that he can find any clues when forensics didn't (calling Blair "Sandburg" for the first time that we know of, and lending credence to the theory that calling Blair by his last name is a show of cop-partnerly-acceptance). Blair insists he try. "You gotta learn how to turn things on and off. Now, I'm gonna shut up and let you feel it out."
Coincidentally, that's exactly what he said last night! Oh, is it too soon for that?
Jim says he can't, and Blair orders, "Put your hands behind your back." Jim eventually complies, and Blair places some stuff from the ground into Jim's hand. "What's in your hands?" Jim says he can't tell but it doesn't take any further cajoling from Blair before he's identifying them as ashes--wood in one hand, and plastic in the other. Blair is delighted.
As Jim bends to smell some stuff, Blair pulls out a Camcorder. Jim turns and sees it, and he's like, No friggin' way.
A bit later, Jim complains because he can't find anything. You can't win with this guy, eh? Blair points out that his current complaint is a far cry from begging doctors to turn off his senses. Jim hears flapping and looks up to see a bird plucking something out of the beams. "How good are you at climbing trees?" Jim asks Blair.
Not very. Blair struggles up to a nest, complaining, and then throws it down. Jim finds a blue thread and wonders if it belonged to the bomber. Blair remarks, "The nest isn't finished, so the time frame could definitely work there." Off Jim's look, he says, "What? Part of your job is looking at places and trying to figure out what happened there, well, so's mine!" Nice. Jim sniffs the string and smells "jungle plants."
Blair drags a whining Jim into a perfume store. As Blair tries to chat up the girl at the desk, Jim cuts him off, showing his badge and asking to inspect the perfumes. The girl says there are over 365 and suggests he start with what she's wearing. She holds out her wrist. Jim just looks at it and then turns back to Blair, who is scribbling in a notepad. "What are you doing?" "Taking notes!"
Eventually Jim figures out the unique blend which leads them to the client, who is...
VII. The Switchman
"Veronica Saris." Jim shows Simon her file. She is the daughter of one of Jim's old ranger team, an ex-Navy munitions expert in her own right. She was discharged for mental instability. Those Navy girls! Simon refuses to give him a warrant for "a perfume a detective smelled on a piece of yarn he pulled out of a bird's nest." Fair enough.
Jim meets Blair in front of the PD building and assures him he's not giving up. He calls the company where Veronica works as a tour guide.
Jim parks in a no-parking zone in front of a tall building with a roof observatory, apparently part of the Cascade tour. Blair wants to go in and film Jim in action, but Jim gives Blair the phone and tells him to stay put and be his backup.
I mean, yes, there is a phone in that hand, but it's at best tangential to the hand-holding.
Jim arrives at the top only to be told by the tour guide there that Veronica has already taken her group down to the bus. Down on the street, Blair looks up from Veronica's file to see her getting the bus boarded only a few meters away. I wonder if there is a reason that she has Blair's exact hair.
Jim rushes back down to the street in time to see the bus leaving and his Jeep getting towed away. He commandeers a taxi and immediately pulls an evil U-turn.
In the bus, Veronica quietly changes the route and pulls a gun on the driver. From a seat, Blair tries to figure out what's going on.
Jim gets out of the taxi on a bridge, peers over the side, and then jumps as the bus passes below, landing on the roof. That's two. Dude, it's like a twenty foot drop. I like how this is just another superpower that he has with nothing to do with his senses.
As Jim struggles to get purchase on the bus roof, a startled Veronica waves her gun at the tourists. Blair looks like, Well, I guess I walked into this one. Veronica makes the driver drive through a roadblock and then stop, whereupon she heads back to where Blair is lying down on his seat calling the police. She sticks her gun in his side and takes his phone.
Simon gets on the line, and Veronica demands to talk to Jim. As Simon dispatches backup, he stalls, "Uh, Detective Ellison will be with you in a moment..." and right on cue, Jim throws himself through the back window, gun drawn on Veronica.
A brief standoff ends when Jim uses his sight to look down the barrel of her gun and then shoot directly into it. So... his senses give him impossibly perfect aim? LAME. She drops her gun and he lunges at her. Blair gets all up in the situation with a video camera. Veronica has some expository crazy ramblings about how she hates Jim for letting her father die in Peru. He tries to convince her he was her father's friend, but she still won't say where she hid the bomb. "Help me look for it," Jim asks Blair. "Don't look--listen," Blair sages.
Jim shoves past Blair, pushing the gun into his hand, to Blair's butterfingered dismay. Sure enough, when he glances around to see how Jim is doing, Veronica kicks the gun out of his hand. As Veronica beats up on Blair and they struggle for the gun, and Blair shouts, for the only time in his life, "Ellison! Ellison!", Jim obliviously wanders back, focused in on a ticking sound. "Oh, God," Blair moans miserably as he crouches over a struggling Veronica. He punches her in the face and then shakes out his hand, "Ow!" Jim finds the bomb and throws it out the window just in time.
Wrap-up. Firefighters and police surround the semi-charred bus. Simon tells Jim, "I've been worrying about you the past couple of days. Glad you finally came to your senses." Wanh-wannnh! Carolyn flirtily offers to make Jim dinner, but she can't find her watch to determine the time. Jim tells her it's in her car and adds brightly, "I'll see you at eight!" before she can get out her question.
We end happily with our soon-to-be-tradement 30 Seconds With Blair. Jim finds Blair getting his hand bandaged and grudgingly handing over his Camcorder tape to Taggart. "You know this guy?" Taggart asks Jim after Jim calls him "Sandburg" (which Taggart already did; does Taggart know him from before or did he just learn his name? unclear). "Yeah, my new partner," says Jim.
"Partner?" Blair repeats, getting up to follow Jim.
JIM: Every--(snaps his fingers) what-d'you-call-it--Sentinel--needs one. Isn't that what the book said?
BLAIR: Oh, excellent! I thought this was just going to be a thesis paper, but I think we're talking best-seller here!
JIM (stopping him): Whoa, whoa, darlin'-- [Oh, sorry, misheard that--] Whoa, whoa, Darwin, just slow down, here. You're not publishing anything for awhile, okay?
BLAIR: Why not?
JIM (pulling Blair secret-sharing-close): Because, I don't want every lowlife in town knowing I've got an edge! Especially one I can barely control. Now you just keep this between us, you got it?
I'm not sure it will fit.
BLAIR: Hey, do I get a badge?
JIM (appearing to consider this): First I've got to find a way to clear it with the captain. Then you've got to go through the Academy, just like every other cadet. (walks off)
BLAIR: Cadet?! (to Jim's retreating back) Cade--wait a minute, man! I am not cutting my hair! (runs to catch up)
Huh. It's amazing how much of that they came back to in the final episode.
Bottom Line: As you can probably tell from the length of this recap, I like the episode. We meet our characters; we get the brunt of the Sentinel mythos info, always good times; Jim uses his senses a lot, and there's lots of other iconic events (see below); and we get a good amount of Jim/Blair bickering, agreeing, assistance, and mutual manhandling, especially considering they only just met.
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The Roundup Senses Used: Sight (army ranger patch, bomb in basement, gun aim); Hearing (birds in jungle, girls talking, bird at lumber mill, bomb on bus, Carolyn's watch); Smell (gas, rose at shopping center, perfume on yarn); Taste (spicy food); Touch (wood ashes and plastic ashes, the kiss? (possibly))
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1x02 The Seige
As Jim and Blair get out of Jim's truck in the PD parking garage, Jim asks to go over their cover story again. He tells Blair not to use his "thin blue line" speech, although Blair insists it's his best stuff, and he knows thesisspeak. Jim points out it's the police captain they need to convince. "Hell, man, I would dress up in an evening gown like J. Edgar Hoover if you thought it would help," announces Blair. I don't think it will, but feel free to give it a shot. "I want this partnership just as--" "Whoa, whoawhoa. Whoa. Stop right there, Chief," Jim cuts him off. Blair sighs. "Yeah yeah yeah, I know. I know, I know, I know. I'm never to refer to us as partners." This show. I am just saying. It is not that Jim doesn't want Blair to be his partner, he just doesn't want the other cops to find out. Which raises the question: if two men are police partners and the police department doesn't know about it, are they really police partners? Or are they just, you know. Jim and Blair.
Jim pauses suddenly. "I thought I smelled blood." Blair's excited: "Oh, man, you are GOOD! I sliced myself cutting a bagel this morning!" Oh, right, second episode, Blair is still all in mega-wonderment mode. (Not that he ever leaves it...) You would think this would be maybe the kind of thing Jim would want to double-check; but instead, he and Blair walk off, Blair still gushing, "This is GREAT!", as one of the police officers who's milling around opens the trunk of a cruiser and rearranges a blanket on a dead guy.
"The central hypothesis to my dissertation is how the quality of evidence-gathering at the crime scene can affect the capture of a perpetrator and ultimately the outcome of the trial," Blair explains to Simon as Jim stands in the background, chewing on a toothpick and silently judging. Man, that cover story changes. A LOT.
Judging. Pondering. Checking out. One of those.
Blair's wearing cute earrings, FYI. When he starts in on his "thin blue line" spiel, Simon sends him out. "I'll be right out here, man," Blair tells Jim helpfully.
Alone, Simon calls Blair a "neo-hippie flower child," and Jim commiserates, saying this is "a family thing." Blair, he explains, is his cousin's kid, and his family has been begging him to help him get his doctorate. Working alone? Me? What stuff about working alone? Simon puts on a brief show of objecting but soon enough he's just like "whatever," possibly because Jim was fired years ago and he's just been humoring him ever since.
Daryl, Simon's fourteen-year-old son arrives, and there's some awkward family tension to which Jim remains purposely oblivious. Simon's taking Daryl on fishing trip, and he doesn't really want to go. But first, Simon has a meeting, and Daryl has to hang out alone in the office. To keep himself busy after Simon exits, Daryl examines the desk and picks up a page with one line of writing on it. What's that, Blair's abstract?
In the hall, Blair's dismayed to learn his speech did more harm than good and that Jim resorted to the cousin story. Jim's just annoyed that Blair didn't listen to him. "From now on, when I tell you to do something, you do it. When I tell you to say something, you say it, how I told you to say it," he scolds. Yes, naughty Blair! You've been bad! Blair holds up his hands in surrender: "Okay, okay, okay!" He then reports that his morning's latte is "banging away at [his] bladder" so Jim leads him by the elbow toward the men's room. "Uh, I think you can trust me to handle this mission on my own, Jim," Blair laughs.
Oh, see, I thought you wanted to go in there for... you know what? Never mind.
"You sure?" asks Jim, seemingly genuine. "Yeah. Thanks for the offer, man." "It's a tough one," mutters Jim in a tone of voice which clearly says: Damn, I better pretend I'm continuing a really deadpan joke, because what the fuck, did I just offer to help him pee? Jim, your shame is deserved. Seriously, it's episode two, here, and these guys have already driven straight through Relationship Junction and into So-Intimate-It's-Just-Weird-sville.
The bad cops shoot some good cops.
Jim is working at his desk--how long has Blair been in the can, anyway?--when he sees Carolyn and goes over to ask, "Where's my lunch?" Seems he's won a bet with her on whether her sister would go through with the wedding (she didn't). Wow, that's some continuity. Carolyn suggests Indian, but Jim says "No no, that's too spicy." To the credit of the actress playing Carolyn, she does her best with the awful line, "I seem to recall from our married days that you love tandoori!" Jim says he does but he feels like... "Oh, no, we're NOT going to Wonder Burger," Carolyn groans. Where's Blair? He needs to be taking notes. This is going to be him in like, five minutes.
Taggart comes up and he and Jim exchange a little stilted plot exposition about how two out of three of the "Sunrise Patriots" have been caught, but Garrett Kincaid is still on the loose!
In Personnel, HR person Vera gives Blair a big stack of forms to fill out. "When I'm done with all this I should qualify for a license to kill, huh?" Blair jokes, and Vera looks profoundly uncomfortable. Jim says he's off and will leave Blair "in Vera's capable hands", and she shoots him a look that could kill. Then he comments on her perfume, saying it reminds him of his grandmother, as Blair smirks on. Botched pick-up attempt or pointed dig? You be the judge. When Jim is gone, Vera gives Blair a cup for a drug test.
Jim and Carolyn head out, arguing about Garrett Kincaid. As they exit, we see Kincaid in a truck radioing some instructions to his lackeys. In the building, a bad hacker guy does some computer stuff, and then gets on the intercom telling all available units to head to an emergency crash site immediately. Police rush out of the building. You would think there would be some kind of triage system whereby not EVERY officer would... no? Okay. The bad guys put the station on lockdown and start rounding up the civilian personnel, suspects/witnesses, and remaining officers for hostages. Daryl sasses, and someone tells him to shut up. Taggart tries to be a hero and gets shot in the leg.
In the bathroom, Blair hears something and goes to peer out the door. He sees what's going on and gets a patented Blair look of OMG. When a bad guy comes and looks in the bathroom, he just glances under the stall doors and sees nothing. From above we see that Blair has sort of suspended himself between the walls.
Bad guys consult. They've got police communication jammed. "Looks like we've got the whole city at our feet."
Carolyn notices the jam when she tries to call her voicemail from Jim's truck. She tries 911 and gets disconnected. "Something's wrong here," says Jim, and he flings around in an evil Uie. You know, Jim, when 911 is down is maybe not the best time to wantonly endanger the lives of your fellow roadway transportation system users.
They arrive at the closed parking lot gate and look around, confused. Jim zoom in on a man in the shadows with a gun trained on them, and he pulls Carolyn down.
The bad guys terrorize the hostages. Kincaid steps on Taggart's wound.
Outside the station, Jim kneels by the truck and listens to the people inside: bad guys consulting, hostages, including Daryl. He's momentarily pained by a horn honking somewhere. In case you wanted to place this episode on a seasonal timeline, it's lightly snowing out. Anyway, Simon arrives and Jim pulls him down behind the truck and catches him up on the situation. Simon immediately wants to charge in, "Daryl's in there!", but Jim holds him back. It's kind of a nice, friendshippy, emotional scene. Jim assures him Daryl is okay. "How do you know?" "I, uh, saw him at the window." Simon calms down a little and asks Jim if he's all right. Jim grunts an affirmation and qualifies it, "Sandburg's in there, too," with this pretty-much-uncalled-for-at-this-point-in-their-relationship look of I'm-not-crying-okay-this-color-hurts-my-eyes.
Talk amongst yourselves!
As a bad guy comes into the bathroom to pee, Blair slips and accidentally flushes the toilet he's poised over. Realizing his cover's blown, he immediately hoists himself up to kick the door into the bad guy's face as he goes to investigate. Nice thinking, Blair. Blair tiptoes over the unconscious body, leaving behind all the weapons splayed about. Hm. I guess he is kind of a pacifist and doesn't, at this point, know how to use an assault rifle, but I'd probably take them anyway if only to keep them from the guy when he wakes up.
A surveillance camera shows Jim crouching behind his truck outside. "I called you as soon as he showed up," one bad guy as-you-knows to Garrett Kincaid. "Poor guy's got to be worried sick about that boy of his," Kincaid gloats. Okay, who do you think they're talking about? Before you answer, I should assure you that Simon is pretty much obscured on the tape whereas Jim is right there.
Kincaid calls Simon with his demands--he wants his men let out of jail. Simon wants them to release some hostages, so Kincaid says "We're sending one out right now!" Jim hearts Daryl screaming before he arrives at the window. The men dangle Daryl 50 feet above the ground. Simon, Jim, and Carolyn approach, horrified. Simon gets back on the phone and agrees, and they bring the struggling Daryl back inside. I think this scene would have worked even without Daryl's constant monologue of "Please don't kill me, please!" Understandable, I guess, but a little wearing.
All the police officers out in the middle of nowhere have no contact with the city but a message saying that attempts to return will result in the death of hostages.
Bad guy goes into the bathroom and sees his fallen comrade. "We got a bogey in the building!" Cut to Blair cowering behind a snack machine, bargaining with God. A bad guy comes up to the machine to buy a bag of chips. I mean, what else are you going to do in a hostage situation? "No change?!" he cries, angry. Because he is BAD! "I've got some CHANGE!" he cries, and he shoots the machine. Blair panics and yells "DON'T SHOOT!" Then, still flailing about in a tizzy, and realizing he has to act fast, Blair tips the machine, trapping the bad guy under it. Blair pants and clutches at his heart and blinks and wanders out. I love Blair's confused, nervous heroism.
Jim and Simon prepare to enter through the sewer. Simon's still fretting about Daryl. "How do you think your buddy Sandburg's doing?" "Hard to say. I don't know him all that well." "Isn't he your cousin's kid?" Simon and Carolyn both stare at Jim. Jim spins some story, "Uh, I didn't see him outside the family all that much," but I'm guessing nothing he says can convince Carolyn who probably knows Jim's family pretty well. They lift the manhole cover, and Jim's upset because it stinks. Oh man, and this being pre-dials and all. He coughs as he descends and finally leans against the entrance ladder, saying "I don't know if I can handle this," which coming from a guy like Jim has got to be serious. Simon brushes him off because he doesn't understand what the big deal is and Jim sucks it up and deals. It's the existence of bad smells in the world that makes me really think I don't want Jim's superpower (unless maybe Blair is a guaranteed part of the package).
Taggart comforts Daryl in the hostage area. That's nice.
Lost in the sewers, Jim smells gasoline and they realize they're under the parking garage. The bad guys monitoring the surveillance cams are almost too busy exclaiming over the fact that the bogey took out one of their men with a vending machine to notice Jim sneaking in, but then they do.
Oh man, I can't fucking believe this. Another basement, another elevator. How can the same thing happen to the same viewer twice?
Jim hears them radioing behind the door and yells just in time to get Simon away. A bad guy bursts out, and he and Jim exchange shots. Jim is shot and so is the surveillance cam. Kincaid gets on the radio and his lackey informs him that they've killed Jim. Kincaid says "Good work," and we cut to Simon on the lackey's radio saying "Thank you, sir." Okay, but that was so not Simon the first time. It turns out Jim has only been shot in the Kevlar and he's fine! And now he has a rifle.
So now Kincaid's a bit pissed because his demands aren't being met so he has his men blow up a building across the street with a rocket launcher kind of thing. I guess the writers figured they could do as much damage as they wanted to the city block as we know it's already been evacuated by the fire department. The most interesting thing about this scene is that Kincaid's man gives the order to the gunner to shoot by patting him on the butt.
Jim and Simon do some super-fun-looking duck-around-corners-gun-drawn stuff on the empty lobby floor. Jim realizes the door to the stairs has been welded shut because it's "still warm" (Simon, feeling it for himself: "?...It's not still warm. Jim!")
Blair does some deep breathing exercises in the stairwell. Then, hearing some men clanking up toward him, he runs inside and down the hall and locks himself in an office. More importantly, I figured out what's wrong with his hair today. It's all slicked back on top. It makes him look like he has a receding hairline or, at the very least, is kind of a sleazeball. It's much better in later episodes when it is allowed to roam free. Instead of being trapped. Trapped in the seige of hair gel. (Like what I did there?)
In their separate locales, each of our intrepid heroes works on a plan. Jim is doing something mechanical in the garage. Blair picks up a chair and, with a mighty yell, throws it at the window. It... bounces off. Ha. Next he picks up a hefty marble ball of unknwon origin, and that successfully smashes the glass. There's a window-washing-platform-thingy a floor below. After saying to himself, "I don't believe this. I don't believe this!" and "Just picture yourself there," and doing some quick deep breathing, he drops onto the platform. Above him, a guy with a gun pops his head out and shoots downward. It should be remarkably akin to shooting fish in a barrel, but somehow Blair doesn't die--his jacket just gets grazed a bit. Instead of, you know, trying again, the sniper shoots the rope holding up the platform, and it shoots down several floors as Blair yells. When it abruptly stops, Blair finds himself facing down two more guys with guns in the window. He sighs and raises his hands in surrender.
Pan over from a boring plaque proclaiming the Cascade Police Mission Statement to Jim and Simon wheeling a police motorcycle over to the welded-shut door. They run wires away from it. Oh, it's a bomb.
Kincaid holds a gun on Blair, who insists he's worth more alive. "Why would you think your sorry ass is worth anything to anybody?" Kincaid asks. Instead of busting out into a Broadway song about the power of love, as seems appropriate here, Blair claims he's an officer ("Lt. Sandburg, Narcotics.") Just then Kincaid gets a call and finds out his demands are being met. When he hangs up he turns back to Blair, grabs him by the front of his coat, and draws him close. "I guess the execution's off," he grit/purrs. Blair blinks nervously into his eyes, lips twitching. Kincaid continues, "I guess I could use a man like you."
On my mouth.
Moving right along, Jim and Simon blow up their bomb and head into the stairwell. Jim stops Simon at the next floor, yanks open the door, and pulls in a bad guy. They strip him of his weapons and radio and cuff him to the bannister. "How did you know he was there?" Simon wonders. "Couldn't you smell him?" Jim asks. Jim... honey... you know you have super senses. There is no excuse for that question. Jim hears the chopper coming, carrying Kincaid's no-longer-jailed mates. Simon: "I still don't hear anything!"
Jim hears Kincaid round up his men for a briefing and, while the way is clear, he and Simon sneak into the control room. Simon issues the order to bring the cops back home. In the meeting, Kincaid congratulates his men on victory. He's about to get on the chopper, bringing "Mr. Natural" (Blair) as "protection." He has two men hang back and tells them to kill the hostages. In the control room, a listening Jim glances at Simon and says neutrally, "Let's move out."
Jim and Simon burst into the room just as the guys are turning their guns on the hostages. Taggart displays some additional heroism, limping forward to jump on a guy when his back is turned. Jim barely waits to see that things are taken care of before he announces "I'm upstairs" and runs off to save Blair. Simon and Daryl hug.
"I'm not really a cop, I'm an anthropologist!" Blair tries to explain as he's hustled out to the chopper--perhaps believing that nobody will come for him. Kincaid doesn't believe him. Just as the chopper takes off, Jim bursts out onto the roof. Heroic music swells as he runs up and jumps onto the runner. For serious. As far as vehicle jumps go, it is really going to be difficult to beat this one.
Jim clings to the runner of the helicopter for a really long time. Even when they notice he's there and start to swerve, he hangs on. "How many lives does this guy have?" asks Kincaid, but I would be asking, "HOW STRONG ARE HIS HANDS?" I'd like to note for the record that this particular incredible feat has nothing to do with his actual superpowers and everything to do with the sheer awesome power of his manliness.
Simon and the returning cops take care of the bad guys trying to escape the PD.
Kincaid finally gets bored watching Jim cling and he opens the chopper door, gun drawn. Jim reaches up and grabs his hand--he's an expert clinger, man! what were you thinking, putting a gun within his reach?--and Blair does his bit by elbowing Kincaid in the butt, sending him tumbling out. So now not only is Jim clinging to the runner of the copter, but Kincaid is clinging to Jim's leg.
This show, man. This show. God bless it, is what I say.
This goes on for quite some time while Blair finds a flare gun in the back of the chopper. He pulls it on the pilot, demanding to have the chopper brought back to the CPD. The pilot points out if Blair kills him, they'll all die, but Blair shouts, "I don't think so, punk!" and claims to have flown Apaches. I think this is supposed to showcase he has expert bullshitting skills which come in useful in tense situations, but with Blair, you never know. Maybe he flew a chopper cross country when he was ten.
So they head all the way back to the CPD with Jim and Kincaid clinging. Swat guys are ready to arrest Kincaid. Being dragged away, he yells at Simon, "This isn't over!" Only it is, until the show realizes it's cancelled and it has only eight more episodes left and it has to quickly tie up some loose ends which were probably better left ravelly. Carolyn runs up and briefly buries her face in Jim's shoulder. SWAT guys start dragging away a protesting Blair, until Simon says, "It's okay, guys. He's on our team." Blair, excited: "Did you say I was on your team?" Simon: already regretting this.
Simon pulls Jim aside (as Blair asks Carolyn to unbind his hands) and asks, "All right, Jim, what's going on here?" Oh no, it's time for The Talk. "What do you mean?" Jim asks oh-so-innocently. Simon asks about Jim's amazing feats, and Jim admits he has "what can only be described as hyperactive senses." Simon snorts, "You mean like a Superman thing?" "No, no, no," says Jim defensively, "it's all perfectly natural." God made me this way, Simon. WHY CAN'T YOU LOVE ME AS I AM.
As if this conversation wasn't already gay enough, Simon echoes my parents when I came out to them: "And your 'friend' Sandburg...?" (I mean, her name wasn't Sandburg, but it was that exact tone of voice.) Jim explains that Blair is really an anthropologist and that he wants to study Jim and help him figure out how to deal with his senses. Simon holds up a hand. "Too much information right now, all right?" Jeez, Simon, and he didn't even start up on the sexy part. Blair comes up to Jim as Simon leaves.
BLAIR: You told him, didn't you?
JIM: Yeah, I had to.
BLAIR: So what happened, did he, like, freak or what?
JIM: No, I actually think it's all going to turn out to be just fine.
Then he briefly takes Blair's face in both his hands. I will repeat that for those of you who are, understandably, skimming. What Jim does is he puts both his hands on Blair's cheeks for a second, then takes them away again.
Stop looking at me like that, I don't know!
SERIOUSLY WHO DOES THIS
The cup o' gay overrunneth, but we're not quite done yet. Jim tries to go, but Blair holds him back by grabbing onto his tac vest.
THIS TOO
"There's just one more question I gotta ask you," Blair says. Pop it, Blair. "This wasn't, like, a typical day for you, was it?" Jim glances into the middle distance and looks back at Blair with a hint of a smile. Blair gives a great WAS IT? face. Jim just chuckles and walks away. Blair runs after him. And, we're out. In all senses of the word.
Bottom Line: I think this has got to be the best episode in which the boys are mostly separated. There's just so many good parts--the men's room conversation, the face-touch--and Blair's first introduction to the PD is of historical interest.
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The Roundup Senses used: Smell (blood, White Shoulders, sewer (problematically), gasoline, Skin Bracer); sight (sniper); hearing (voices in building, car horn (problematically), man behind garage door, chopper blades); touch (warm door)
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1x3 Killers
JIM: All I'm saying is that it would be nice to know that if I got into a jam, that you could cover my back.
BLAIR: Uh-uh, no way, man! I'm not going around packin'! My deal is that I'm here strictly, strictly as an observer.
Give it time, bunny. Jim and Blair are parked in an alley in the dark; a motorcycle comes up. Jim and the cyclist disembark from their vehicles and swagger up to be manly-cold at each other. "Does your mother know you look like that?" asks Jim, which would make sense if the guy's face was all cut up, but it's not, so huh? "Screw you," says the guy. Pause. Then, they laugh and hug!
How ya doin', you old pirate?
The cyclist, Danny, gives some info about some kind of illegal syndicate in which he is a mole, and Jim keeps asking him if he took various safety precautions. I gotta say, large cable-knit turtleneck sweater he's wearing only exacerbates the mother hen vibe. Danny's like, yeah, yeah, and reminds Jim, "You're not my big brother anymore." That's--okay, whatever you want to call it. They hug again and Danny takes off on his bike.
Just then Jim zooms in across the alleyway to a sniper with a laser sight trained on Danny. Jim yells, but it's too late, and Danny is shot off his bike. Jim runs and drags his body behind a dumpster just before the sniper gets a lock on him. Peering out, he sees the laser travelling over to Blair's head, and he yells "BLAIR GET DOWN!", in time this time.
"You're gonna be all right," Jim murmurs, unzipping Danny's jacket as Blair runs up to join him behind the dumpster. Danny's face is still and Jim pulls up his hand covered in blood. "Oh God," says Blair. "Call an ambulance," Jim directs him calmly, pumping Danny's chest. When Blair does nothing, Jim bellows, "CALL AN AMBULANCE!" "It's too late, man." "It's not too late now CALL AN AMBULANCE!" Oh Jim and his refusal to accept that the men he loves are dead. If only his magical livegiving powers worked on anyone besides Blair. "He's gone, he's gone," Blair insists, grabbing Jim's arm.
How do you take a bath? (Sorry, 2% joke.)
Jim shouts an incoherent protest and then, for serious, turns his head toward the heavens and shouts, "NOOOOOOOO!"
That night in the station, Jim gets pissy when Assistant DA Beverly Sanchez is more upset about the setback in the case than Danny's death. Sanchez thinks this guy Tommy Juno shot Danny, and Jim confirms that he can swear it as Tommy. Within hours they're a tuxedoed Tommy from outside a benefit dinner he's attending. He's got a terrible Irish accent. Beverly is excited that they've made the arrest but Jim just walks off. Simon tells Beverly that Jim and Danny were "real close," and Beverly goes to Jim to apologize and offers to buy him a beer. He resists at first, but then agrees. Beverly says, "You pick the place."
Cut to them having beers in the loft. Jim seems to have warmed up considerably; he's now building a fire and chatting amiably, "Sandburg's always trying to get me to take up meditation or some such thing, but with this place, who needs it? Carolyn never liked it, though." So Carolyn did live in the loft. I wondered about that. Beverly asks, "Who's Carolyn?" I feel like she should be asking, "Who's Sandburg?" They talk about their exes a bit and then Jim stops suddenly. "What's wrong?" "Oh, I was just thinking about Danny..." Face, meet palm. Jim reminisces about sweet Danny and they both look like they'll cry.
Beverly decides to go (makes sense; I'm pretty sure that sad clown that comes to really bad Sims house parties is lurking around somewhere) and Jim walks her to the door, saying, "I'm really glad you came." Watch out, Bev, that's how Jim says "I love you"! They kiss. They're starting to get passionate when Jim stops suddenly. "What's wrong?"
Oh, I was just thinking about Danny...
"It's just--not a great night," says Jim. Beverly finally leaves, and Jim goes to take another sip of his beer, but there's something wrong with it, it doesn't taste right. Beverly comes back in to grab her forgotten coat and she's saying something, but Jim can't hear a word; it's just silence.
As Jim and Blair walk into the station lobby together the next morning, Blair's exclaiming, "You should have called me immediately!" As he's standing there talking--apparently Jim lost his sense of taste and hearing for almost an hour, but he's fine now--Jim holds up the badge around Blair's neck for the guard. Already with the familiar, possessive, wordless-communication kind of gestures like that. Blair wants to investigate, but Jim says he's not "a lab rat for you to prod and probe." The conversation's put on hold when Carolyn comes up, showing Jim a letter from the IRS--they owe a penalty on back taxes. Then that conversation is put on hold when Beverly comes up. She and Jim have the most vacuous, smily, morning-after conversation ever, as Blair and Carolyn both shoot them looks of Oh, god, obvious what's going on HERE.
Once Beverly leaves, Carolyn calls Jim's attention back to the taxes, and he suggests splitting it. Carolyn snaps, "As far as I'm concerned, I'm done paying for your screw-ups," and flounces off. Jim is bewildered and Blair says, "You know, for a guy with hyperactive senses, you can be pretty dense." He explains to Jim that Carolyn is jealous (yes, just Carolyn).
Tommy's arraignment. As Beverly argues that Tommy shot Danny and Tommy's lawyer argues that he did not, Jim and Blair sit side-by-side occasionally giving each other little significant looks. Tommy's lawyer calls Jim and it comes out under cross-examination that according to Jim's description of the scene, the shooter's location was over 200 yards away from Jim's-- he couldn't possibly have made a positive ID at that distance.
Coming out of the courthouse, Tommy stands around winking at girls as his lawyer tells reporters it's cops like Jim Ellison who manufacture evidence that give the department a bad name. Tommy swaggers over to Jim and baits him--"Your friend, dyin' in your arms, all you could do was watch" yada yada when-I-stabbed-your-husband-how-long-did-it-take-him-to-die-cakes. Jim lunges at Tommy, but Blair grabs him from behind, all, "Not here! It's not worth it." Blair handsily guides Jim away from the scene.
What gets me is the hand around the waist.
Jim's talking to Simon in his office when Beverly bursts in and chew him out for making up evidence. Thanks to him, they can't touch Tommy now, for fear of being sued for harrassment.
Tommy meets with his boss O'Toole who has an equally execrable Irish accent. We get a confirmation that Tommy killed Danny, which I think is kind of lame, since I'd like it to be ambiguous at least as long as possible. Jim's senses have been acting up, and he didn't even mention Tommy's name until Sanchez did; there's reasonable grounds for doubt despite Jim's certainty, and I'd like the audience to be in on that doubt. But I guess this is an episode about not being able to use sensory knowledge as evidence, not about doubting one's senses. Anyway, Tommy's next assignment is to kill Sanchez.
Jim's in his car with some surveillance equipment when Blair slides into the passenger, "I got your message!" Jim hands him an earbud and Blair hears that Jim has tapped Tommy's phone. I love that Jim calls Blair up to help him with his illegal detective work. I mean, it's a given that he would later in the series, but even now, before Blair has particularly distinguished himself in the police realm. Blair cries, "This is way over the line, man!" Jim reminds him of Juno's crime and says "Now either you want to be involved, or there's the door." Blair stays (he does want to be involved; he does), but he doesn't look happy about it.
Jim and Blair trail Tommy to a warehouse. Inside, it's pitch black, and Blair complains that he can't see. "I can." Jim's pupils dilate until his eyes are like, completely black, and he looks around. Suddenly everything goes white as lights suddenly flash in his face, and he shrinks back like a vampire presented with a cross as reporters gather around him. Tommy's lawyer is there, all, I rest my case!
Simon yells at Jim and Blair in his office. "You violated his civil rights!" Jim tries to take the fall, but Simon punishes them both: taking Jim off the streets pending an IA investigation and revoking Blair's credentials. Forever!
Outside, Jim catches up with Blair, who's leaning dejectedly against the side of the building. "Don't say it," Jim snits as he passes. "Say what? That you're an arrogant, self-destructive schmuck? If I say it to you, I gotta say it to me, too. I went along with you." They have a brief conversation of non-sequiturs ("You're going to have to find another thesis subject." "Says who?" "This thing is not over until I get Tommy Juno locked up." "All right.") and then Jim reaches into his pocket for his keys and immediately drops them. He bends to pick them up but stops. Blair asks what's wrong. Jim: "My hands. I've lost all feeling in my hands!" Warm them on the teapot, darling! (Sorry, another 2% joke.)
Hospital. Jim and Blair have just spent the day getting Jim checked out, but learned nothing--it's not a medical issue. The numbness has gone away so Jim wants to just forget about it. Blair insists, "The only way we are going to figure this out is if we go at it scientifically!" but Jim says, "Not now. Too busy." Yeah, he's too busy to go at it with you now, Blair! (I'm not. Shee-yow. He looks scrumptious in this scene.)
SCRUMPTIOUS I SAY
Jim and Blair talk to an informant who tips them off that Sanchez is Tommy's next target. They rush to her house where Jim spies the sniper and runs to nab him while Blair shoulders down Beverly's apartment door in order to get to her and pull her down in time. On the sniper's roof, Jim's sight start going all funny, but he manages to knock Juno off the roof.
Hospital. Juno is in a coma, not expected to live. Simon tells Jim he is reinstated (Blair is not mentioned, but presumably him too) and Beverly goes to apologize to Jim. But Jim's just like, "It's getting late. We're outta here, Chief." Blair shrugs at Beverly and follows Jim.
Jim goes down to the docks or some shady place and tries to order food from a booth, but his hearing stops working, which makes the transaction considerably more difficult. Suddenly the booth guy ducks down and Jim turns around to see Tommy shooting from a car. Jim pulls his gun and grazes Tommy on the arm.
Jim and Simon go back to the hospital to find out how Tommy got out and find his body. He's dead!
Police breakroom. Jim hands Blair a cup of coffee as Carolyn enters with a forensics report. They have some bloodspatter from the shooter at the docks and they ran it against Tommy's corpse. It matches. They're all, whaaaaa? Jim asks Carolyn to run it again as he and Blair go to the morgue. "Something I'm really looking forward to," Blair jokes to Carolyn. That's a nice little moment of rapport between them. As Jim goes to leave, Carolyn stops him and apologizes for flipping out. Jim asks "Why is it that we're better friends divorced than we were married?" Do you really want me to answer that? Jim gets a call. The morgue ran the fingerprints, and the dead man is not Tommy.
If you guessed Tommy has a twin, you're right. In the office later, Carolyn provides her report on the magical backstory of Tommy and Dylan Juno, which I judge to be both contrived and irreleant. The important thing is, it was Dylan who died, and "Now Tommy wants to kill the man who killed his brother," observes Blair, with a long, meaningful look at Jim.
Boring scene with Tommy and his boss. Boss tries to double-cross him, so Tommy kills him. Blair catches up with Jim at the station with a new theory for his sensory problems: post-traumatic stress from Danny's death. "Your emotions are all out of whack!" Jim doesn't buy it. "My emotions are just fine!" Blair's gone into no-nonsense Guide mode and he's lecturing Jim, low-voice but hotly insistent, when Simon interrupts--there's been a shooting.
The guide brooks no guff.
As cops rush into the scene of Tommy's boss's shooting, Simon tells Blair not to touch anything. "I know! I'm an anthropologist, I've been on excavations before." "You know what? On second thought, you stay out here." Inside, Jim and Simon are poking around when the victim's phone rings. Jim decides it would be a good idea to answer it. It's Juno. He immediately knows it's Jim and says "Damn you for what you done. Dylan was more than just my brother; he was the other half of my soul." DON'T THINK I NEED TO KNOW ANY MORE ABOUT THAT THANKS. He puts someone else on the phone: Beverly. He's got her hostage.
Tommy wants to meet at the old fairground to exchange Beverly for Jim, but Jim offers him another deal--Beverly for Dylan, whom he says is banged up but not dead. Oh, Jim, that is just CRUEL.
The Old Fairground. In the dark, Tommy can't tell his brother is a corpse in an automatic wheelchair. Before the exchange he calls out, asking Dylan if he is okay, and Blair djs Jim's Tommy-and/or-Dylan-on-the-phone tapes for the responses. They intitate the exchange, but by the time the wheelchair inevitably hits a snag and the corpse slumps over, Beverly is close enough for Jim to pull out of danger.
A shoot-out ensues, ending up in a house of mirrors. Jim's sight is going wonky, and the mirrors are confusing, and he can't find the real Tommy, but when it comes down to it, and he tries very hard to hear, Tommy's heartbeat comes through loud and clear and Jim is able to shoot him. Hooray... death.
I guess he wouldn't have been happy anyway with only half a soul.
Wrap-up. Jim is explaining to Blair, "Well, you were right, it was me. I mean, it was the weirdest thing. I was standing there, and everything was a blur, and it was if I was standing outside myself, looking at myself, and I could make myself move, and see, and hear, but it wasn't me." Oh man, this is exactly the kind of description Blair lives and dies for, and sure enough, when we see his face, he looks--well:
Like this.
Blair commends Jim for taking control. Seeing Beverly approaching, he adds, "Knowing that the faithful companion's most important role is knowing when to get lost, I'll see you later, man." Faithful companion. Nice.
Beverly points out it's the second time in two days he's saved her life. "Sandburg's insinuated I have an addictive personality," says Jim. I do not know what that means, but it's adorable that he immediately brings up Blair in every conversation with this girl. Beverly says they should be friends. They shake hands and repeat the word "friends" about eleven times. "With potential," Jim finally adds with a smile.
Noooo potential.
Bottom Line: For some reason the only thing I had remembered about this episode was that it had a villain so boring I wanted to cry, but it turns out to be quite a strong entry with lots of good stuff: a sensory problem; Blair doing the guide thing; Jim being totally emotionally wrecked by the death of a male love. I'm glad I watched it again!
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The Roundup Senses used: Sight (sniper, dark warehouse, sniper again, Tommy at fairground)
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1x4 The Debt
Blair is watching an old gangster movie in his giant industrial warehouse apartment, rocking the academic hobo chic in round glasses and fingerless gloves, and talking to a Barbary ape in a cage. The intercom buzzes and Blair answers with a Will Friedle-ish little "Helleeoowww!" It's Jim. "Oh, great, man, I'll let you in!" Blair's continued delight at having Jim for a friend is adorable.
Blair's academic hobo chic.
Jim has brought over some video equipment he borrowed from Carolyn's forensics lab. Blair introduces Jim to "Larry," the ape, and Jim is inexplicably confused that Larry is Blair's research subject instead of his pet. Apparently Blair is doing a study on the effects of television violence on a particular monkey. "The behavioral pattern of a barbary ape is like, remarkably similar to a human being," Blair explains. "Maybe in your family tree," Jim quips smugly. Blair mimics him in adorable kid-sibling fashion.
Meanwhile, in the next industrial warehouse over, some shady guys are running a meth lab. Some unexpected visitors arrive, and the shooting starts.
At Blair's, the violence on TV masks the sound of the violence next door. Larry's all snuggled up with Jim's arm. His behavior pattern is remarkably similar to Blair's! "Hey buddy, how bout a can of beer or somethin'?" asks Jim. "Yeah, sure, they're in the fridge," says Blair. "I'll take one," says Jim. "That's great," says Blair, not taking his eyes off the TV. "They're in the fridge." Ha. You won't get any guest treatment here, Jim. Blair has a "mi casa es su casa" philosophy. But I'm getting ahead of myself.
More violence. Chemicals and equipment get shot up. Jim freezes halfway to the fridge and asks Blair to turn down the TV.
The next-door visitors douse everything with gasoline, take big stacks of money, and run, throwing a bottle containing a lit rag behind them. "Get down!" cries Jim, and leaps over the couch to pull Blair to the ground as the wall explodes behind them.
Police investigate the burned-out drug lab. Taggart does his usual "There was a bomb! I get to have some lines!" Simon and Jim figure that since the lab was run by the gang known as the 357s, the perps must have been their rivals, the Deuces. Gang team rookie Earl insists that the gangs have worked out a truce. He knows the head of the Deuces, and they would never risk the peace. The grown-ups are dubious.
Jim helps Blair load his things into his (Blair's) car. "This is just the worst. Where'm I going to stay?" Blair moans. "I dunno," says Jim, edging back toward his own truck. "I dunno, hotel, hostel? Something?" Blair advances. "That's fine for me, but what about Larry?" "Put him in a kennel! You'll figure it out!" "I can't do that to him! I mean my project's due next Friday." Gazing downward shiftily, Blair adds, "Unless..." Unless what, you get an extension? But Jim seems to understand what he's asking: "Nuh-nuh-no. No. No, forget it. Just forget it." Blair begs, "C'mon, Jim, Jim, please, please, PLEASE, my back is up against the wall here!" No, Blair, you're thinking of the time Jim pinned you (canon!) Blair assures Jim that Larry is no trouble. Mark these words, folks: "One week, ONE WEEK, and I promise, I promise we'll be out of your hair."
I guess technically that turns out to be true, but only because he said "we."
Blair's undignified begging. Jim: Please let me go home.
"Come on, one week, man," Blair repeats. Jim shifts resignedly. "All right, look. One week. You or the gorilla act up, and you're gone, all right?" "He's not a gorilla. You already hurt his feelings," says Blair. "I'm already beginning to regret this," says Jim. Get used to that feeling, buddy.
Next day at the station Jim tickles Taggart pink by tirading, "He makes all these weird noises, he eats things I can't even look at, he smells funny, and all he does is watch TV all day! The monkey's okay, though." I find it hard to believe that Blair watches that much TV; he has a lot to get done. I'd like to hear more clarification about the weird noises, though.
Earl is upset because Jim brought in the head of the Deuces (and Earl's personal friend). He predicts, correctly, that Jim's interrogation will reveal nothing. Later, Earl talks to King Deuce (not his real name) casually on the street, as he wanted to from the beginning. King Deuce insists the Deuces didn't do the hit, but the 357s think they did, and are out for blood. He thinks a cop did it, but he doesn't know who. He tells Earl to watch his back and walks away, and is promptly shot by a thug in a ski mask.
Station meeting. Earl gives his info. "A cop?! I don't buy it," says Simon. "Neither do I," says Random Guy I Don't Know Who He Is. Him! He did it! When Simon takes Earl off the case, he snaps, "I expect to be screwed by white folks" (indicating Jim) "but I didn't think I'd get it a couple of brothers! I guess hang with the suits long enough, you forget where you come from!" (leaves in a huff) I wonder how many of the writers on this show were anything but white. Alone with Jim, Simon sulks that that "hit a little close to home." All right.
When Jim arrives home (yaaaaaaaaay!) the place has been ransacked. Jim draws his gun. Hearing someone moving around upstairs, he shouts, "PUT YOUR HANDS WHERE I CAN SEE THEM AND COME OUT!" "Don't shoot, don't shoot, man, it's me!" Blair cries, coming out with his hands up. He explains that Larry "freaked out" during The Wild Bunch and escaped. Jim calls animal control, over Blair's protestations (Jim's defense: "He could be dangerous! If he tried to bite you--!" Daww. Protective five!) Jim sends Blair out to warn the neighbors, and Blair pauses in the door to listen to Jim's end of the conversation, getting a little adoring look when Jim insists, "No, he's not a gorilla, he's an ape." However, when Jim repeats, "Permit?" and looks at Blair, Blair hightails it out of there.
Cut to the kitchen table, nicely set, and Blair's voice calling out, "Come and get it! Eggs are almost done. Scrambled firm, just the way you like 'em, right?" Yeah, Jim likes everything firm. Jim comes downstairs, buttoning his shirt, and wanders into the kitchen where Blair is slaving away over the frying pan. And he says the following:
"If you think this little courtship ritual is going to change my mind about throwing your butt out of here..."
COURTSHIP. RITUAL.
I mean he thinks he's joking but that's so what it is.
LOOK HOW ADORABLE THEY ARE IN THE KITCHEN.
"If Larry can survive without a roof over his head, I'm sure I can too," says Blair, but neither man specifies a time or date for Blair's removal. Instead Blair starts talking about how he's thinking of getting a different animal, "something small and sweet. An orangutan, maybe." Science! Don't choose the animal that will give you the most accurate results; choose the one that's easiest to manage! He got an automatic extension due to the department chair being out of town (because that's how that works), so he has plenty of time to ignore his project now!
BLAIR: I'm all yours, little buddy!
JIM: That's a very generous offer, but I think you'd be a little in over your head.
Seriously? Seriously, they--oh, the case. The case, everyone. Blair starts talking about how his tribal culture knowhow is applicable to street gangs, and Jim gets uncomfortable because it smacks of racism. Blair insists it has nothing to do with race: "It's about dominance and submission of subgroups!" Is he trying to hint something? Other things I expect Blair has said today: Man, I can't believe I signed up for this English class; I must be masochistic. Hey, Jim, have you read this book, Of Human Bondage ? Cause if you don't have a copy I'll have to go out and buy a brand spanking new one.
"In all male-dominated power-based subgroups," Blair continues, "antagonistic action by one group is usually met with equal to or greater antagonistic action by another." (He hopes!) This reminds me of that scene in Red Dwarf when Holly is playing chess against the other computer and the Cat says "I've been observing his moves and I've figured out a pattern. (conspiratorially) Every time you make a move, he makes one too." Jim plays dumb, possibly because he loves the sound of Blair's geeky nasal voice, and Blair explains that the 357s' "code of honors" (sic) will demand retaliation unless Jim can prove that the Deuces are innocent. So basically he just told Jim exactly what he already knew. Thanks, guy.
One more look at breakfast before we move on. All together, now: Awwwwww.
So, wave goodbye to Blair for a little while, because the next bunch of scenes are about the plot. Earl tells Jim about his close personal friendship with the dead head of the Deuces, which is such a touching story that Jim decides to believe him. He even defends him when a bunch of evidence points to Earl being the culprit. Jim meets with the head of the 357s, who I guess is a regular secret informant of his, who tells him that the head of the Deuces had met with him after the drug lab hit and insisted it wasn't them and asked for a week to prove it, which King 357 gave him because he didn't want a gang war either. Jim asks for the same thing. Don't fall for it, man, the words "one week" are extremely flexible to this guy! King 357 gives him 48 hours. Earl calls up Jim, and Jim implores him to come in and ask for Simon's protection, but Earl is feeling mistrustful of the force since the cops turned on him and searched his house, so he's disinclined to acquiesce. (I'm paraphrasing.) He does ask Jim for a favor--someone to look after his grandma while he's on the run.
Okay, finally, something for Blair to do! He arrives at Grandma Earl's housing complex in the guise of a social worker, that is, wearing a hideous tweed suit and reading glasses, carrying a briefcase, and with his hair pulled back into his "take me seriously" ponytail.
Which nicely shows off his "just kidding" earrings.
Some thugs hassle him a little, but he talks his way out of it and, anyway, Jim is watching over him from a distance. Up in the apartment, Blair tries to talk Grandma Earl into leaving for her own protection, but she refuses to go. Blair calls up Jim who wants to pull him out: it's too dangerous and "you're not a cop." "I know," says Blair, his voice strangely breaking a bit. But he insists on staying because he met this grandma two minutes ago and now he loves her as his own. Or something. After hanging up, Blair asks Grandma Earl how she can live alone, and she says she isn't--she's friends with all her neighbors. An idea strikes Blair. "Can we call a meeting?" Bougeoisest. Suggestion. Ever.
Meanwhile, in the part of town where it's nighttime, Earl is going renegade and chasing down a 357 he wants to interrogate when said 357 is shot! By who? Gasp! It's the other, less sympathetic cop who was just introduced this episode and whom we have no reason to care about!
357 thugs (I think) go to kidnap Earl's grandma, but when they get there, they're surrounded by building residents! "Meet the Roosevelt Towers Safety Committee," says Blair proudly. Because all the black people needed was a dorky white guy to teach them the values of Community Spirit and What We Can Accomplish If We Just Band Together.
Jim goes to the hospital room of the guy who was shot, and smells the actual culprit's cigarettes. So he's basically on Earl's side when he goes to question him about what happened. Together they figure out the correct culprit, motive, and means (I don't really care to get into it), and his likely next target. Jim calls the station to put out an APB on said target, stays on the line about two seconds, and then hangs up and relays to Earl two minutes' worth of info: the guy is already dead, and the have the murder weapon, and it's a gun licensed to to Earl.
Quick pause to pay tribute to the giant phones of the mid-90s.
Jim brings Simon to the loft where Earl is waiting. Simon freaks out because Earl's a fugitive, but they quickly win him over, mostly in between cuts. They've figured out the bad guy's likely next move--selling the drugs from the hit. After a brief stakeout, they manage to bust the sale, and of course a chase ensues, during which Jim jumps onto the flatbed of a moving pickup truck and, from there, onto the roof of an SUV driving alongside. He also ends up using his super-sight-means-super-aim powers to shoot a gun out of the bad guy's hand.
For the wrap-up, everyone gathers back at the apartment complex where the grandma invites them all to dinner. Jim gets a phone calls and drags Blair away, informing him very solemnly that Larry has broken back into the loft and animal control has him surrounded. "Did they say what he was doing?" asks Blair. "He was watching TV." Blair, also solemn: "You're kidding me. What program?" Oh that zany Blair! What he doesn't say, ever, ever: "So I guess I'll be moving out of your apartment now."
I am fairly certain that Jim is supposed to be relaying canon fact here, but it's that little half-suppressed adoring smile at the end of the conversation that leads me to believe that Jim has been pulling Blair's leg, and Blair endearing himself to Jim by calmly going along with it.
Bottom Line: The gang whatever storyline is at least simple enough for me to understand, but it focuses too much on Earl as the main character. We don't even see enough of Jim, let alone Blair, who plays pretty much of an afterthought role in the A plot. The reason this episode is a classic, though, is that it sets up the living arrangement so very nicely.
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The Roundup Senses used: Hearing (next-door violence); Sight (Blair as social worker, drug buyer, super-aim); Smell (bad guy's cigs on bedsheets) Vehicles Jumped Onto: 2 (pickup truck, SUV) Relationship Milestones: Jim and Blair move in together |
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1x5 Cypher
Jim and Blair are sitting in traffic, Jim whining because Blair insisted on staying to the end of the basketball game even though the outcome was clear. Blair takes a break from sitting very prettily still to belt out an enthusiastic, "Who cares, man! We WON!" They get a call on the radio.
They arrive at the darkened and apparently empty apartment and creep around, Jim with gun drawn, Blair following Jim around like a duckling. Jim hears a faucet dripping and they head into the bathroom where Blair immediately falls back against the doorway. Semi-submerged in the tub is a corpse. Quick-flash closeups on the body's pale hands and feet, her artfully yellow-scarf-covered breast, her open-mouthed expressionless face, and back onto Blair, horrified and overwhelmed. Nicely done.
Simon, Jim, and Carolyn discuss the case at the station. The body was at least twelve hours old, so who made the 911 call? That's thing one. Thing two is that they've apparently got a serial killer on their hands--there have been two other murders with the same yellow scarf, the same method (drowning in the tub), and personal items such as photos and clothing taken as trophies. Simon orders a media blackout.
Pan over the skyline and heavy sexy breathing--oh, it's Blair! Sweet. He's lying on the couch making out with a topless girl. They're under a blanket and surrounded by candles, and it looks very cozy. Suddenly Blair gets dead-lady flashbacks and pushes away. He tries to explain, "The other night. There was this woman..." and the girl--her name is Christine--assumes he's got another girlfriend and gets up and puts on her dress. We see that under the blanket, she was wearing only panties, and he an open shirt and nearly matching blue boxers. Now that's just an adorable semi-undressed teenageresque necking session. Blair explains about the body, and Christine comes back and sympathizes.
One of the remarkably few barechest shots of the man who will later be aptly christened by the bad guy "Hairy Blairy." Note the lack of a nipple ring (this will be important later).
Just then the front door opens, or tries to--it's chained. "Sandburg, what the hell's going on?!" Blair gets up and unchains the door, and Jim comes in bitching and interrupts himself when he sees Christine: "I'm Jim Ellison, I," gesturing to Blair, "I live here." Ha. Way to be ambiguous, buddy. Blair clarifies, "Chris, this is Jim, my roommate." Christine says "Things are getting way too complicated here," kisses Blair, and leaves. Alone, Blair snaps at Jim and then immediately apologizes and tells him about his dead-girl problems. All he gets is a lecture about separating your emotions and keeping cool in a crime scene. He sighs and leans his head back against the couch.
Poor lonely pantless Blair.
Walking up to the station, Jim is hassled by a reporter asking about the serial killer. "So much for the media blackout..."
Forensics lab. Carolyn plays Jim the 911 call and the victim's answering machine tape, complaining that the 911 call is too distorted to tell if it's the same voice. Jim listens again and declares they are two different voices: "I can just tell." He thinks the 911 caller is the killer, therefore the killer is a woman. Simon comes bursting in with a newspaper complaining about the media leak. Blair's the only other one who knows all the details of the case. "He is new at this," says Carolyn. "Maybe he doesn't understand--" "He understands fine," Jim cuts her off.
Day. Jim and Blair get out of the car. "It might be open-casket. Are you going to be all right with that?" "I'm fine," says Blair, not looking that fine. Gesturing against Blair's arm, Jim explains for our benefit that serial killers sometimes like to come to the funeral to admire their own work. Reporters mob the pair. Jim murmurs "Keep moving," so Blair pushes ahead looking miserable.
One of these boys is not dressed for a funeral. I'll give you a hint: it's not Jim. The ankh means LIFE, man!
During the funeral sermon, Blair sits in amongst the crowd while Jim sits alone on the balcony, looking down over everyone. Jim zooms in on a gloved hand fondling a yellow scarf. As people begin to file toward the casket, Blair sees the scarfbearing woman--black-dressed, with a thick veil covering her face--and he gestures wildly at Jim to point her out. Unfortunately this has the effect of tipping off the suspect and she runs outside. The media guys perk up when they see her, and they follow her asking for comment. Jim runs out after her, runs after her car, looking for all the world like he's gonna jump on it, but I guess he figures he probably shouldn't in front of all those cameras, even though it is his non-secret superpower. Instead he gets in his truck and takes off after her. Blair comes out and declares, "Damn it!" Thank you for waiting until you got steps outside the church.
Car chase. On the one hand, they are a waste of character development time; on the other, they are easy to recap! The chase ends when the suspect finds herself stuck in a traffic jam on the bridge, and she gets out of her car. Jim follows suit, yelling, "Police! Hold it right there!" So the suspect jumps off the bridge. We see her fall about a gajillion feet into the water. Now, she should totally just be dead, but she isn't, and how she survived will never be discussed. It's just as if she eluded chase in a normal, non-death-defying way. This would be a serious weak point in any script, but it's sort of heartbreaking in this, which is actually a decently written episode and easily my favorite crime-solving A-plot.
Station. Simon and Jim waste some words on the ludicrous bridge-jumping thing, with Jim saying she could't have survived as he didn't see anyone in the water and the currents are deadly, and Simon saying they dragged the river and didn't find anything. The deeper they dig themselves in, the more definitively they will need to explain it later, and yet they never address it after this! Argh. Okay, enough.
SIMON: What's this I hear about Sandburg tipping off the suspect at the church?
JIM (back to Simon, looks pained): I'm the one who blew it, sir. It was my responsibility.
SIMON: Look. I know the kid helps you with this Sentinel thing, but he is not one of us. Maybe it's time you should think about cutting him loose.
JIM (immediately, turning around): No, sir. I have to disagree with that call. Blair understands what I'm going through.
SIMON: You really trust him?
JIM (quietly): Yes, sir. I do.
And this is why I love this show. Dudes. Fifth episode!
Anyway. Simon says he's had to call in some help on the case, and Jim resists, saying he can handle it, but Simon points out they're hardly serial killer experts. Enter Dr. Anthony (Tony) Bates, a top forensic psychologist from San Francisco. He's got glasses, a funky vest, and long hair (though it's straight and blond), and he immediately starts throwing around jargon. He wants to build a psychological profile of the killer, and he needs to know more about the murder ritual. Rituals! He loves rituals, too! Jim answers his questions curtly but completely, and I'm really not sure what we're supposed to believe Jim feels about him now: is he still annoyed at having to share the case, or is he put at ease by the doctor's knowledgableness and Blairishness?
Speaking of Blair. At the loft, Blair puts a tape they got from one of the reporters in the VCR and sits down on the couch beside Jim. There's a sort of awkward pause and then Jim says, "You know, the captain's pretty worried about this leak." "Yeah," Blair agrees. "He thinks it might be you," Jim adds with a penetrating look. Blair laughs, "You don't believe that, do you?" "All I'm saying is I don't want you to talk about this case with anyone." Blair's eyes go wide. "This is because I screwed up at the church the other day, now you're all pissed off at me?" "I'm not pissed off," says Jim. And he isn't, either, and this is just such an adorable fight. Man, I think everything is cute.
Everything is cute on Make-Out Couch!
They roll the tape. Jim notes that the suspect has the victim's same hairstyle and drives the same kind of car. He keeps making Blair pause. Maybe, like, he should be controlling the clicker. He points out that the suspect has an Adam's apple. I'm not sure whether to count this as an example of Sight; it's really more just ordinary awesome-detective observation power. Pointed out, Blair sees it too. So the killer is a transvestite. Great. Just great. Like we they didn't get enough flack from Silence of the Lambs.
Jim says his next task is to investigate the other victims. One was a drummer in a band, and he wants to ask around at Club Doom. Blair laughs at him. "The Doom's an underground club and you are like, clearly labelled (holds up hands, high voice) 'Cop'!" But Blair thinks he could blend in himself, and he volunteers to go alone. Jim says absolutely no way.
Blair drives up to Club Doom! He's got Chris along as his date. Anybody want to take bets on her being the leak? As he stops the car, there's another awkward pause, and then he looks at her all soulful and apologizes about the other night. "Prove it," she says, and they kiss.
Whoever's doing the camera work has the same priorities I do, because although Blair's face is turned away, his jawline and curls and earring are carefully lit while Chris's face is shrouded in darkness.
Kiss ends (front view of Blair, blue eyes, red lips, very sweet) and Chris says, "From now on, be straight with me, okay?" and I laugh and laugh. Blair agrees, low-voicedly, "Absolutely," and so when Chris asks why he wanted to go to Doom, Blair announces, "I'm investigating a murder!" "...What?" Blair begins to explain, and I don't know whether the odds on Chris being the leak just went up, as Blair wantonly violates the don't-talk-about-the-case rule, or down, since it's less than halway through the episode (YES I KNOW 1700 WORDS SHUT UP) and whatever we think at the 20-minute mark must clearly be wrong. Or maybe I've just been watching too much House.
Okay, we cut directly from Chris promising ("Scout's honor!") not to repeat what Blair told her to a reporter announcing that the police are now looking for a transvestite, and I think that's pretty much confirmation that they want us to believe Chris is the leak and therefore she can't be. If they'd been just a little more subtle about it, I'd have been taken in, though.
Jim, Simon, and Tony are unhappily watching the newscast at the station conference room when suddenly Blair bursts in. "I have got this whole thing figured OUT!" "Don't you knock?" Simon whines, but Blair's too excited to register insults. He explains just talked to a guy at Club Doom (Jim looks pained) who told him he bought drugs from the previous victim--three weeks after he died. "The murderer changes identities with the victim!" See, now this is a great place for this reveal, because yes, we have already figured it out, but we didn't figure it out that long ago, and we were afraid they would drag it out until the end of the episode. The fact that Blair figures it out now, as soon as enough evidence becomes available to make it conclusive, makes him look smart, and he's supposed to be. So good work.
Ah, the long awaited meeting of Blair and Tony. They manage to get in brief introductions between excited discussion of the case. Tony thinks Blair's idea is great, and Blair chatters about Aztec warriors, and Tony draws up word picture of a loner from a broken home with a weak sense of self. Jim whines, "It's all theory. Nothing but theory! I need some suspects!" Oh, Jim. An S person surrounded by Ns. Also, possibly annoyed at no longer being the only person at the station who respects and gets along with Blair.
Phone call. A prowler at the Maritime museum, female, matching the description of the killer. Jim drives up, accompanied by backup!!. There's a brief foot chase through the darkened museum; Jim catches up the with prowler, tackles her, punches her in the face, and sees that she is a man in drag.
Jim and Blair are hounded by media as they stroll into the station the next day. Blair grins as Jim deadpanly teases a reporter, saying since he seems to know more about the case than they do, he's under suspicion.
Ha. My boyfriend rocks.
Inside, Jim says the man they apprehended claimed he was paid to stalk the museum by a "plain-looking lady." Tony thinks that was the killer, and Jim agrees it sure wasn't this guy--he was in a detox tank the night of one of the murders. On the plus side, they found some prints on the victim's car, which the killer was driving at the funeral; they match a recent mental institution escapee named David Lash. Wow, things are moving along nice and swiftly. Tony agrees with me, saying, "Nice work, detective. You too, Blair. Very impressive fieldwork." I bet he wouldn't mind if Blair wasn't straight with him.
In her lab, Carolyn explains to Jim that the water in the victims' lungs wasn't the same as the water in their tubs, but it was the same as each other--they're all drowned at the same site. The killer subdues them with a drug and then moves them to a kill sight and tortures them with slow drowning. Jim muses that this is all a game to the killer and he needs to figure out the rules.
Jim passes Tony who's on way to the men's room, and tells him the mental institution's faxing over Lash's files; he won't want to miss it. We cut to Simon's office, where Jim and Blair listen as Simon reads out the pages of psychobabble as they come in. He comments that Tony's diagnosis was spot-on. Jim picks up one of the pages. "What the hell is this?" The signature on the bottom reads "Anthony Bates." "Bates was Lash's psychiatrist?" Simon frowns, and Blair cries, "Why wouldn't he let us know that?" Jim gets a sudden look of understanding and I think this moment is really, really cool, because I totally didn't guess the twist until the exact moment that Jim does right here. I love when you only know the answer half a second before the definitive reveal; it was like that for me in Sixth Sense which is why I still think that movie is great even though everyone else seems to be kind of off it. Jim picks up the last page as it comes through the fax. There's a photo of Lash--it's the man they know as Dr. Anthony Bates.
(I suppose I probably should have known, since that name is a total tipoff. In my defense, they don't actually use the name that often; most of the time minor characters' names glide right over you, which is why I avoided calling him "Bates" in the recap, since I felt it would be much more obvious in writing. I can't have missed the Psycho reference the first time I saw this! But possibly it guided me to the idea that the killer was taking over the identities of the victim, but not necessarily that the doctor was one of them? I don't know. I still wish they had named him something else.)
The boys leap immediately into action. Simon calls for a lockdown on the building. Jim heads for the men's room, gun drawn, Blair as duckling. The stalls are empty but he finds a pile of clothes on the floor. Blair knocks on the mirror. "Jim, look at this." In red lipstick is written, "Who am I now?"
Can I take a moment to observe how cute Blair is in his little blue sweater and ankh? They run down to the front of the station, but the can't find any trace of Lash/Bates. Lates? Bash? I'm just going to call him Lash. Short scene with Simon, Jim, Carolyn and Blair figuring out that Lash was the media leak himself.
In the interrogation room, Lash's father pours out exposition about what a horrible broken home Lash grew up in.
While Jim and Blair stand by the mirror and make eyes at each other.
Bespectacled Blair comes out of a lecture hall with Chris, telling her about the case. He admits that, for awhile there, he thought she was the leak, and she gets insulted and calls as taxi. As she closes the door in his face, Blair sees what looks like his own reflection, but it's just a little off, and it moves away, into the shrubbery behind him. Creepy.
Next we get a long pan over the loft which shows just how much Blair has made himself at home. A bunch of framed photos, including one or two of Blair with a bunch of student-looking types, apparently on an expedition of some kind, and one of a woman who might be Naomi. Some knicknacks; a geode. I'm betting none of this stuff is Jim's. By the door there's a new set of hooks with one jacket which looks from the size to Blair's. Like Blair was like, Look, Jim, coathooks! and Jim was like, I don't know about that... There's also a large framed modern art piece which is so 100% Blair's it's not funny.
Blair enters, telling himself to calm down, but then he sees a figure darting past the skylight. He hits the speed-dial on the kitchen phone. Cut to Jim at the gym (an unnecessarily quick zoom from his tree-trunk arms to his panting face). Loft--Blair waits by the phone when someone kicks in the door. Gym--Jim goes to his locker and finds his pager beeping. Loft--Jim enters, gun drawn, calls out "Blair!" The place is empty and ransacked.
Large, dank warehouse. Blair is lying on the floor, chained at the wrists and ankles and gagged with a yellow scarf.
Carolyn tries to calm Jim down on the phone, saying "It's not your fault!" Jim's in angry-action mode, and says he'll go to the first victim's to see if they missed anything. There he zooms in on the water in the tub and sees floating particles. In the lab, Carolyn looks at the water through a microscope and confirms it's down. Jim tells her to bring him some water they were going to use as evidence, and she doesn't want to break the seal, but he insists, "Sandburg's life is a stake!" He smells bird waste in the water and declares that Lash is drowning his victims in a duck pond. Carolyn is confused.
While Jim tries to panic his compatriots into ACTION, Lash lays Blair in a chair and talks to him creepily about his previous victims in what is supposed to be a Blair voice; he says "man" a lot, and "dude." Rookie mistake; I'm pretty sure I've never heard Blair say "dude." He manhandles Blair's face. I know Blair has been kidnapped before and will be again, but this episode's particular captive-Blair sequence is sort of the platonic ideal of captive-Blair sequences. It appeals on a deep, collective-myth, Jungian kind of level.
Blair! In! Chains!
"POLICE, FREEZE!" Jim has arrived! Somewhat before the nick of time. I could have taken a little more of Blair being tortured. Does that make me a bad person? When Lash looks up his mouth is wet, and I'm not sure if we're supposed to think his nose is running from crying or he kissed Blair.
Jim and Lash scuffle and end up falling through a domino-chain of randomly placed sheets of plate glass and balsawood. Lash's fall is broken by Jim and he gets up first. Jim pulls himself up and runs after, gun drawn. He creeps through a darkened basement, and sees Lash's reflection in a shard of glass in time to turn around. He drops the gun and Lash races down to grab it, but Jim gets there first. He turns with a hard look and quickly shoots Lash three times at close range. Lash falls dead into a hole.
"...in a daring eleventh hour rescue, Detective Jim Ellison saved the life of a police observer..." The TV reporter recaps more succinctly. Pan around from the TV to all the cops in the bullpen smiling and clapping Jim on the back. Jim's sitting on the desk next to Blair, looking a little chagrined when the reporter says "Cascade will sleep easier tonight, because of you, Detective," but Blair turns to him and grins.
But seriously boys, congratulations on the GIANT GAY WEDDING. (Surely I can't be the only one who gets that vibe from this scene?)
When the other cops disperse, Blair looks around to make sure everyone's gone, then leans in close and says lowly, "Hey, Jim. Last night when you said I did everything right, did you mean that?" HA. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Ha. HAAAA.
The boys get their coats and walk out.
BLAIR: You know, the Chinese believe that when you save a man's life, you become his Blessed Protector and it's your duty to do that for the rest of your life.
JIM: Really. Well, here's today's rescue. Call Christine. Beg, crawl, whatever you gotta do.
BLAIR: Yeah, I'm pretty good at that, huh?
JIM (cutting him off): But don't ever lie to her. (zealously clenching his fists) Remember: trust! commitment!
BLAIR: Speaking of commitment, I'm thinking about getting a Cascade PD insignia tattooed right on my chest.
JIM: Above the nipple ring?
BLAIR: How'd you know about that?
JIM (grinning): Let me tell you something. You get a tattoo and your Blessed Protector's gonna kick your ass down seven flights to the lobby. Huh? (making a fake-out gonna-getcha move)
BLAIR (dodging, laughing): Whoa, hey, toughguy!
I have nothing to add to that.
Bottom Line: A reasonably interesting police A-story AND Blair tied up AND several moments of inexpressible gay? This show has found its A game!
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The Roundup Senses Used: Hearing (dripping, voices on tape, Blair's voice in warehouse); Sight (scarf at funeral, water in tub, reflection in glass); Smell (water in beaker)
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1x6 Night Train
We open on Blair dancing around his room playing a little drum. I think this is the first shot which makes it clear that Blair has a window between his room and the kitchen, and that his door is just a curtain. Privacy is unnecessary in the Loft of Love! Jim comes up, sneezing, and Blair asks if his tribal rhythms or whatever are helping his cold. He uncovers a pot on the stove boiling with what looks like pine cone stew, a natural remedy. Man, Jim gets the sniffles and Blair throws all his time and energy into fixing it. It must be nice to have a Guide. Jim chooses to skeptically mock his stew instead of trying it, so all is right with the world.
Simon's sitting at his desk, taking a cigar out of a little sheath and sniffing it ecstatically, when he gets a phone call. He has just the man for the job.
Jim and Blair walk into Major Crimes. Jim sneezes all over Blair, who complains, "You pull me out of bed in the middle of the night, now you gotta get me sick?" You've got no right to bitch, Blair; you insist on walking with your arm pressed up against him, you reap the consequences. Also, can we go back to the pulling out of bed thing? What were you wearing?
Seriously, this is how close they were walking just before the sneeze. NORMAL PEOPLE DON'T DO THIS
Blair fusses and hands Jim tissues from a mini-pack in his pocket. "Sandburg, I'm seeing a whole new side of you," says Jim. "I didn't realize you were such a hypochrondiac." I'd have gone with "mother hen," but whatever.
Blair asks about the assignment, and Jim says "We're picking up a package," but he's under orders not to reveal any more than that. Blair badgers him, finally crying, "Come on, Jim, who'm I gonna tell?" so loudly during a lull in general ambient chatter that everyone milling around the bullpen turns and looks at him. Blair smiles guiltily, waves, murmurs "How ya guys doin', good to see ya," and then swings back to fix his dead-serious gaze on Jim. I bet this is remarkably a common ocurrence. Jim coughs and sneezes some more, and Blair pulls out a little packet of leaves, grinning and laughing excitedly in his patented I-made-my-Sentinel-a-pres-ent! way. It's another natural cold remedy. Jim declines to take any, though Blair does put some of the stuff under his tongue to show how easy it is and then talks funny for the rest of the scene. Ladies and gentleman, I believe we may have just seen "comedy"!
Simon's about to sign his divorce papers, but then he doesn't. Ladies and gentleman, I believe we may have just seen "character development"! Jim enters and asks, "Would you mind if I told Sandburg what's going down, get him off my back a little bit?" TOO-- MANY-- JOKES-- DOES -- NOT-- COMPUTE! Simon says he's not allowed to tell Blair anything until they get aboard the train.
JIM (insincerely): Thanks very much for your support.
SIMON: Hey, I don't make the rules.
JIM: That's what I keep telling him!
Did we just get the tail end of the fraternization conversation? Aww, Jim is giving Simon the smile of buck-up-new-divorcee. It's sweet; this is a context in which Jim is the mentor, having gone through it already, and they both seem quite comfortable with switching their usual roles. Simon: "It gets better, right?" Jim: "Yeah. It gets better." Especially around year two when you develop superpowers and an epic gay romance. That's when it really picked up, for me.
As Jim and Blair arrive at the train, Blair is bitching because he thinks himself ill-treated as a non-cop, and Jim mocks him by spinning an elaborate story about the great police cult conspiracy. Once they're on board, Jim stands by and lets Blair jump to a complex web of conclusions about the possibly radioactive substance they're transporting and the mutant babies it will cause, and, when he's done, informs him that the "package" is a man. Derek Wilson was the accountant of a mob bigwig type, and now he's testifying in exchange for witness protection. Jim blows his nose and says "Hold that" and hands Blair his used tissue (I think. We can't see and he seems to have it a moment later. But there's nothing else "Hold that" could refer to.) Gross.
As soon as Jim signs off and takes custody from the previous cop on duty, a MYSTERIOUS MAN!!!! walks through the car accompanied by SINISTER MUSIC. Both Jim and Blair remark on him. I wonder if he will be important later? (Spoiler alert!: Not really.)
In the compartment, Blair is gratified to find that Wilson is sitting across from a lovely lady (his attorney), but as soon as he sits down and starts making with doe-eyes, Jim directs, "Junior, please sit next to the gentleman." Jim handcuffs Wilson and Blair together, citing, "Procedure." I submit that it is not procedure to handcuff witnesses to Blair.
Note to Blair: whatever Jim says, there is also no "procedure" on record about handcuffing you to the bedpost.
Simon and Carolyn get word from an informant that Wilson's old boss knows about the transport and is planning a hit. They try in vain to get in touch with Jim.
Lawyergirl sympathizes with Poor Sick Jim having to work, and he says "It's my job," and Blair corrects, "It's our job," which I know is directed toward building himself up before Lawyergirl, but which is charmingly what's-mine-is-yours. When Wilson starts piping up apropos of nothing with train fun facts, Jim uncuffs Blair, all, "I need to talk to you." Out in the hall Blair tries to get him to take his remedy again, and feels his forehead. Jim ducks away, annoyed. It's adorable. Jim tells Blair he's going to check out the rest of the train and to hold down the fort. I think any authority Blair might have had as an acting cop was undermined when Jim cuffed him, but whatever. Blair wants to set up a secret password so he knows to let Jim back in, but Jim's not in the mood, and suggests dryly, "How about you say 'Who is it?' and I say 'Ellison'?"
After various attempts to get word to Jim meet with their respective contrived dead ends, Simon decides to drive up the moutain roads to meet the train himself. Carolyn expresses concern for the safety of both Simon and Jim and says "Tell Jim I... never mind." Consider it done.
Jim sits in the lounge car and orders up a bottle of non-drowsy cold medicine. Lawyergirl comes up and sits by him, and Jim indicates the bottle and says "Don't tell Sandburg." He is so whipped. Lawyergirl flirts with him a bit ("A cop, a defense attorney... Would it be unethical for us to be 'friends'?") and he flirts back in disinterested kind of way, and then his vision starts to go wonky. He excuses himself and makes his way to the bathroom; the train whistle thingy goes, and Jim clutches his ears, and the lights going by the window flash too bright in his eyes. In the bathroom he immediately unscrews the bulbs in the light fixture, pats his face down with water, and winces when he tries to dry it with a paper towel. You'd think his touch would have reacted to the hot bulbs.
He grabs his ears again when the phone rings, but manages to get through a conversation with Simon relaying the danger without alerting him to his weakened state. He manages to get his sunglasses on and stumble back to the compartment. Wilson is kicking Blair's ass at Go when Jim comes back and immediately uncuffs him. "We gotta talk." "Again?" Maybe, Blair, if you refrained from drawing attention to the frequency with which Jim pulls you aside for private conferences, it might be better for both of your sex lives?
Jim and Blair's body language in the hall is as inexplicable as it is delightful--Blair immediately flat against the wall, Jim getting into his space. Jim informs him first of Simon's warning that they're in imminent and constant danger from armed and organized criminals (Blair's concern level: medium) and then of his sense problems (Blair's concern level: off the charts). Jim lists his symptoms, which include uncontrollably heightened sight and hearing, chills, and hot flashes, and Blair says, "Sounds like menopause." Jim flips out and shoves him against the wall!
Jim demands that Blair fix him, and Blair tells him to calm down, reminding him, "This is all new to me, too!" Oh, I bet it is, you saucy--oh. What? Blair asks Jim how his cold is, and Jim admits he "took some stuff." Blair gives him a Look. "What did you take?" Jim tells him and Blair figures it must be the medicine and they just have to wait for it to wear off. "How long is that gonna be?" "Like I have a clue," says Blair. Jim smells gun-cleaning fluid, so he pulls Blair back into the compartment.
Jim uncuffs Wilson and Blair puts a Kevlar vest on him as the bad guys emergency-brake the train. Jim hears heavy footsteps outside the door, and he hands Blair his pistol. "Anyone comes through that door without my face, you shoot him." "Got it," says Blair. Jim pats him on the shoulder and heads into the side door to the next compartment, and Blair nervously trains the pistol on the main door.
Jim tries to surprise the bad guys, but in the ensuing fisticuffs they quickly get the edge because he can't see right. They toss him out the train window. Could this be the end?? But when we pan down Jim is clinging to a chain under the train. Damn, I don't think that counts as a jump.
So there Jim is, clinging to the train as it rushes along, frozen in place because his vision is all confusing shapes and light and he doesn't know what he's doing, and on top of that, his phone rings. He winces and actually pulls it out, like, now is not the time to answer the phone, Jim, but he drops it on the track, so we don't have to bear the ludicrousness of Jim carrying on phone conversation in this position.
The bad guys knock on the compartment door. Blair shifts his hands around the gun and calls, "Who is it?" No answer. Another knock. "Oh man," moans Blair. "I'm gonna have to shoot somebody!"
Aw.
He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath, and suddenly Wilson lunges at him and disarms him.
Wilson lets the other bad guys in as his lawyer protests, "Derek, what are you doing?! Do you know how long we worked on that plea bargain?" A bad guy informs Wilson that he threw Jim out the window, and Blair yells, "Son of a bitch!" Wilson cuffs him and Lawyergirl to the seat and explains his evil plan which is something with skimming money and not trusting the witness protection program. Blair tries to talk him out of his life of crime, but it doesn't work.
When Wilson leaves them, Blair complains, "I am definitely not having a good time," and Lawyergirl makes fun of his earlier police posturing. Blair confesses he's just along for the ride and "I may be reevaluating my whole situation very soon." "Why, do you think Ellison..." "NO," says Blair. "People can fall offa trains without..." He can't even finish the sentences. "Anyway," he says, "this is not your ordinary guy."
Jim is still hanging off the train, struggling in vain to progress along the chain. Blair's voice echoes from nowhere, "Now remember, you were born with these senses. They're a gift passed onto you by your ancestors." Fade to Jim and Blair standing in a dark featureless non-place, Blair putting headphones on Jim and putting him into this contraption he built. He flips some Wash-style switches and rotating lights flash in Jim's eyes. Jim shies back, and Blair says, "Relax, man! I've deliberately put your sense of sight on overload. Don't struggle. See if you can separate from it and just hear the music." Oh, so that dreamy Lothlorien music was actually part of the scene, and not just the Theme of Blair is a Freaking Magician? I'm not even going to start in on Blair telling Jim "relax; don't struggle," because then we might be here all day. Jim whines, adorably, "I don't like it," and Blair's like, fine, you don't have to learn to control your senses, so Jim sighs and puts the headphones back on. Blair does his usual steady drone of encouragement ("One step at a time. It's all about breathing and concentration."), and we get a totally ridiculous shot of his face between the flashing light thingies as he demonstrates deep breathing. I love Blair's really conceited/really really gay assumption that keeping his face in Jim's line of sight will help.
Blair can do magic things
Jim gets a glassy, slack-jawed look and Blair's voice says "Yeah, yeah, that's it," (SERIOUSLY) and then we're back under the train, and Jim climbs forward, having gained strength from this memory/fantasy (STILL DEAD SERIOUS).
Meanwhile back in the compartment, we get a little heterosexual palate cleanser as Blair tries to reach his Swiss Army knife (with handy lockpicking tools) out of his backpack on the overhead rack and Lawyergirl crowds up against him to help him get more give from handcuff chain. Blair blinks and swallows as Lawyergirl's legs rub his.
Jim climbs painstakingly along the bottom of the train, finally making it up over a balcony and into a car. He leans back to catch his breath, but suddenly there's a conductor saying "HEY!" and punching him out. Blackout.
After the commercial it's morning, and Blair and Lawyergirl are still having backpack-reaching hijinks. Lawyergirl, the taller of the two, finally manages to get down the bag as Blair crouches by her stomach and inhales creepily.
The train blasts past the police blockade, bad guys shooting automatics. Simon gets in his car.
Jim comes to and immediately swings a right hook (NB: I don't know if it was really a right hook), catching the man he recognized earlier. But he's not a bad guy--he's just a doctor. Jim met him at the hospital when they were running tests on his hearing (NB: no he didn't). Realizing that this red herring serves no useful plot function, Jim gets up and dashes off.
Jim runs down his home car to his compartment, yelling, "Sandburg!" Lawyergirl opens the door but everyone ignores her as Blair's eyes light up at the sight of Jim and he cries, "You're alive!" They do not share a manly hug (if only!) but Blair quickly fills Jim in on the bad guys' actions so far.
The bad guys disconnect the engine from the rest of the train to make their getaway. Jim instructs Blair to stay on the stopped train with Lawyergirl while he disembarks just in time for Simon to drive up. Jim hops in and they take off after the engine. Chase, shots exchanged.
JIM: Lemme have your gun.
SIMON: Where's yours?
JIM: I gave it to Sandburg.
SIMON: YOU WHAT?!
Nice to see some repercussions (however minor and passing) for a cop giving his gun to a civilian. (And/or "giving his gun" to a civilian.)
Jim has Simon drive up to the train, and, yay, he JUMPS himself right onto it! My episode is complete. One of Wilson's men turns on him, and Jim interrupts the scene with Simon's gun drawn, but he's still a bit off with poor vision, and he gets a door opened in his face and gets punched in the face a few times. But he manages to get the upper hand and punches out both bad guys.
Wrap-up at Cascade PD. Lawyergirl is hanging around with Blair, and as Jim enters, she congratulates him mockingly.
LG: You look pretty good for a man who was hanging from a train a couple of hours ago. What are you going to do for an encore, leap tall buildings in a single bound?
BLAIR: No, no, no, don't encourage him.
LG: Oh, you were okay, too.
BLAIR (standing, excited): I was?
JIM: I don't remember you being there.
BLAIR: What about when I was watching your back?
JIM: Watching my back? I was pushed out a window. Where were you then?
BLAIR: Oh, oh, and that's my fault?
LG (slipping her arms through Jim's and Blair's): You know, together, you guys have everything that I've been searching for in a man.
That line would make more sense if she had seemed to like both of them, or to alternately be amused and exasperated with both of them, instead of just appearing to like everything about Jim and nothing about Blair, but I still find it somewhat charming, like something one of us would say to them.
Things Lawyergirl is looking for in a man: * Old married couple bickering * Lack of interest in her
Off Jim's and Blair's eager responses, she rimshots, "Now if I could only find that man," and walks off. Jim and Blair look at each other, as if briefly considering combining to form THE PERFECT MAN. "She wasn't that great anyway," Blair offers. "Nahh," Jim agrees. Simon comes up and raises the question of breakfast, and Jim says, "Who's buying?" and he and Blair simultaneously point at each other, then point at Simon, grinning and giggling at each other. Those boys.
And the wrap-up just keeps on going! Jim reminds Simon about the divorce papers, and Simon has Blair turn around so he can sign them against his back. Just like Jim's divorce, it's all will-I-won't-I until Blair bends over. Hey-ahh! Whilst being thus used, Blair makes conversation.
BLAIR: Jim, what was it like when those things started happening with your senses?
JIM: I don't know. Everything seemed bigger than usual. More intense. Why?
BLAIR: How intense?
JIM (smiling): ...Where are we going with this?
SIMON (sensibly): I'll see you guys in five. (walks off)
BLAIR (conspiratorially): And everything seems to be better now?
JIM: Seems to be.
BLAIR: Damn! I really wanted to get you back to the labs, see if we could study this.
OH I AM SURE. I am sure you want to get Jim "back to the labs" so you could "study" his feelings of "intensity" and everything being "bigger than usual." Jim seems to agree with me; he says, way too knowingly, "Ohhhh." Blair asks him to take more medicine, and Jim agrees, grabbing Blair as he starts to walk off, "Under one condition. You hang off a train, and I spend the night handcuffed to Isabel." (Oh, ISABEL!) He claps Blair on the face with both hands (again) and walks off, leaving Blair to give a chagrined look around and then follow.
I challenge you to name one thing gayer than this screenshot.
Bottom Line: I find this episode's plot fairly boring (not to mention contrived), but it's a vehicle (get it????) for some pretty good moments, notably Jim's second wall-shoving of Blair, Jim's second face-pat of Blair, and Jim's "science Blair" reverie. It's actually kind of hilariously poignant that, while Blair is making fruitless attempts to hit on some lady, Jim is gaining the strength he needs to push forward by daydreaming about (if the semi-soft-focus, dreamy-music, embarrassingly loving shot of Blair's face between the flashing lights is any indication) Blair's beauty.
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The Roundup Sense Problems: Sight (blurred and fishlensy and light-sensitive starting in lounge car), Hearing (too loud and semi-distorted starting in lounge car), Touch (too sensitive against paper towel)
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1x7 Rogue
We open with a top view of the loft kitchen; Jim is standing at the counter, and Blair's behind him, tying a blindfold on him.
This is going to be a good episode.
"How many fingers am I holding up?" Blair asks, holding up three, one, four, and two and a half in rapid succession. "None, and if you don't move this along I'm going to show you one of my fingers." Blair laughs and explains the test: three cups of water, plus a trace of something else, which Jim has to identify. It's a good thing Blair blindfolded him, because cups of water with miniscule amounts of salt or sugar look so different from each other. Possibly the blindfold is just to remind Jim why he's doing this.
The phone rings and Blair goes into his room to answer it while Jim stands at the counter and completes the test on his own: taste, "Salt," taste, "Sugar," taste, "Vanilla extract; damn kid's making a cake here," taste, FREAK OUT! He runs to spit it out and runs water from the tap into his mouth. "SANDBURG!" Blair runs in and figures out that he drank the bad milk! Wah-wahhh!
I've devoted some thought to why Blair had a cup of bad milk on the counter. If you're going to throw out bad milk, why pour it into a cup and let it sit around first? The only thing I can think is that he poured himself a nice glass to drink, tasted it, realized it was bad, and immediately got distracted by something shiny. It's Blair, so I guess that's not totally out of the question.
Blair apologizes and asks if it's a bad time to ask for a favor. He's been asked to sub a lecture, and he wonders if Jim could talk about his time in Peru. "Give a speech?" "Yeah!" "I'd rather have root canal," Jim declares. Off Blair's bemused/beseeching reaction, we cut to Jim crossing the campus, telling Simon he'll be in after he helps Blair with a "project at the university" (is that what the kids etc etc). Just once I wish a show would show us what happened between the guy saying "I won't do it" and the guy doing it. But this show is this show, and so I guess it couldn't have shown us the events which changed Jim's mind without losing its PG rating.
"Regardless of how much field work we do, very few of us have the opportunity to visit the subjects of our research let alone live among the indigenous people for any length of time," Blair babbles at a lectern. That makes as little sense as I think it does, right? Because, doesn't field work mean visiting the subjects? He's just introducing Jim when Jim walks in, and as they pass at the podium they have a brief lover's spat: "What the hell happened? I thought you blew me off." "Some of us have to work for a living."
Don't think the students don't notice this.
Plot things. We see a crowbar being stuck in the doorhandles, and then we see a cyclist in a dorky black spandex suit with decoration in purple and teal--colors you only see in the nineties--approach a building marked "Medical Research." He takes off his aerodynamic helmet (leaving his mirrored wraparound sunglasses) and shakes out his fabulous hair.
Wow, this guy is almost as cool as your brother, Blossom.
Jim's just starting out his speech ("Six and a half years ago, I undertook a mission that, as it turned out, would profoundly change my perspective on life"--hey, that sounds pretty interesting) when some flashy fireworks go off in the windows and the room starts to fill with smoke. The students panic, and Jim immediately goes into cop mode, instructing them to calm down.
Intercut scenes of Mr. Nineties entering the medical building, knocking out the doctor on duty there, and using her badge to swipe into a vault; while in the lecture hall, students rush the jammed door, and Jim ties a sweater over his nose and mouth, breaks a window, and kicks out the door. Students rush out. Jim and Blair hang back to make sure everyone gets out okay, and then coughingly bring up the rear with their arms around each other.
"The attack on the lecture hall was just a diversion," Simon explains to Jim and Blair at the medical facility. "While campus security was involved with that building, somebody broke into here and stole a canister of the ebola virus." What was the ebola virus doing in Cascade in the first place? "What was the ebola virus doing in Cascade in the first place?" Jim asks. "It was transported by ship from the Sudan," the bandaged scientist explains. "I came in this morning from our lab to take it back to Atlanta." Oh, well, in that case. As long as it was going right back. This is about as informative as the time one of my girlfriend's friends, fishing for the status of our relationship or lack thereof, asked me, "How did you get here?" and I blinked, confused, and said, "I walked!"
"Oh, man," says Blair. "Ebola's bad news. It's like the black plague on steroids!" The doctor concurs that if it's released "we are looking at a death toll in the thousands." Only if the population of Cascade is only in the thousands, and Cascade is a walled city, right? I mean, I feel like they could have ramped that up even more. The doctor wants to quarantine the entire city, but Jim and Blair convince her to give them twenty-four hours to find the thief before they risk panicking the populace.
As soon as Jim opens the door to the loft, there's a gun on him. The thief has been lying in wait for them to return. He herds them, hands up, into the middle of the living room, and instructs politely, "Mr. Sandburg, would you mind hanging me Detective Ellison's weapon?" Blair looks to Jim for permission, and he says, "Go on." Blair awkwardly reaches under Jim's jacket and plucks the gun from his holster. "Who the hell are you?" Jim grits. "My name's Leigh Brackett," says the thief, "and I've got the virus you're looking for." He grins waggishly.
I love myself! (I want you to love me)
"Aren't you curious to know why I stole it?" he asks, his eyelids fluttering one after the other like he can only barely hold himself back from winking and winking. Jim says nothing, so Blair says, "Well, I am, if he isn't." Jim gives Blair a Look, and Brackett grins flirtily, "I admire your insatiable curiosity! Without that, who knows. Maybe you wouldn't have uncovered Ellison's Sentinel abilities." Blair turns panickedly to Jim, who barely nods back, like, Keep it cool, boy. Brackett explains he stole the virus "as a bargaining chip": "You're going to help me commit a crime!" Soooooo complicated. I mean. Wouldn't "I will tell everyone about your powers" be enough of a bargaining chip?
After the commercial break we get more exposition. Brackett is a rogue CIA agent. You get the feeling from his performance that the following conversation took place in casting:
CASTING AGENT: You're playing a rogue CI--
ACTOR (overlapping): A rogue?? Finally, the part I was born to play!
CASTING AGENT: A rogue CIA agent.
ACTOR (dreamily): With a heart of gold.
Brackett explains that he debriefed the special forces officer who first pulled Jim out of the jungle. He was fascinated by the report on Jim's abilities, and kept an eye on Jim's future career. He put the pieces together when he read an old paper of Blair's on Sentinels. "I'm glad you two hooked up," he concludes. Aren't we all, buddy. While Brackett is listening to himself talk, Jim subtly signals Blair to knock over the lamp--distracting and disadvantaging Brackett but not Jim. In the dark, Jim and Brackett scuffle, and Brackett ends things by throwing Jim a time bomb in a fanny pack. It's like he knows his superhero name is Captain Nineties! Brackett beats feet, and Jim just barely disarms the bomb before the timer winds down. "I knew you could get it," says Blair when he's done, clapping him on the arm unconvincingly.
But Jim's not satisfied with his work; he hands Blair the bomb, and Blair, sniffing it, says, "Jim, this is Wacky Dough. You couldn't tell this was a fake?" Jim says he was too focused on disarming it. You know, if his powers are limited such that he disarms a bomb before he sniffs it, I don't think I mind. "Man, this Brackett guy's a total DICK!" Blair exclaims, using the harshest language we've ever heard on this show. Jim agrees, and wishes he could "get a hook in this guy, something I can work this." I can't tell if this is sexual or violent. Blair has an idea.
At the station, Blair brings by his friend, Jack Kelso, a foreign affairs professor who blew the whistle on some CIA shenanigans. Kelso calls Brackett a "throwback," a provocative term on this show which is not in this case ever explained to my satisfaction, and gives them a personal history profile on Brackett.
Jim and Blair stand across from each other at the kitchen island, poring over the profile book as dinner simmers. Jim turns a page, and Blair turns it back, annoying him.
The So Boyfriends are on the case!
Blair wonders if Jim could find a clue in the loft that might help them find Brackett. Jim says the lab guys have found nothing, and anyway, "I wouldn't know where to begin." Blair illustrates by taking a deep breath, and Jim says, "Don't patronize me." Blair covers the stir fry and tells him, "I'm talkin' about using your sense of smell." Nice save.
Jim goes and stands in the middle of the room, his body language screaming, See? See? Not workin', but then he crouches. With Blair's Swiss Army tweezers he extracts a tiny chili pepper from between the floorboards. He tastes it. "Oh, Jim, c'mon, you don't know where that's been," Blair RayVs. As Jim is bagging the pepper, he gets a call down to an emergency.
Hazmat suits trudge into some kind of opera house or something full of inert bodies. Two of the Hazmats are Jim and the medlab doctor, and she bitches at him for demanding twenty-four hours in which all these people died, but Jim begins to hear slow heartbeats, and he realizes nobody's dead--they've all been knock-out-gassed. The doctor confirms, and Jim, hearing a fast heartbeat, follows it up to the mezzanine where he finds Brackett, wearing a gas mask, in a pile of bodies. "This time it was sleeping gas, next time it'll be the virus!" Brackett cries. There's a brief chase through the auditorium which ends when Brackett threatens to break a girl's neck, and then throws her over the balcony, leaving Jim to grab her and haul her back while Brackett runs off.
Jim and Blair meet with Doctor Lady, Simon, and Carolyn in the Major Crimes conference room. Jim and Blair want to go along with Brackett, at least for the time being, and see what he wants to steal. Carolyn begins reporting her analysis of the chili pepper, and Blair asks, "What about the metallic taste in the mud?" "You tasted it?" Carolyn asks. Jim takes a drink of water and gazes away. "Uh, yeah," Blair covers, grinning sheepishly. "Ah, I mean... I didn't contaminate your sample or anything, did I?" "No, it's just that the iron oxide we found was so minute, it would have been almost impossible for you to--" Jim breaks in there, telling Carolyn to use her analysis to find the originating restaurant and get some clue as to where Brackett lives. Carolyn goes into Q mode, giving the boys a pair of tiny state-of-the-art tracking beacons made from nonmetal nonplastic proteins electronically indistinguishable from human flesh. They look like Tic-Tacs. Simon gets a phone call from Brackett summonsing Jim.
Jim and Blair truck over to a restaurant which Blair identifies as a Bolivian cafe. They find Brackett alone in the dining room, finishing up a tasty meal. Brackett makes them empty their pockets onto the table, but lets Jim keep his badge after scanning it with a handheld device. "Now the obvious things I'm supposed to find..." Brackett runs the scanner over Blair's body; Blair looks anxiously to Jim as it goes off near his throat.
I suspect that is in actuality a Sexy Detector!
Brackett yanks off Blair's necklace. "I hope you didn't let them rig a valuable artifact with a mini transmitter." "It's a replica," Blair assures him, but he still winces as Brackett grinds it beneath his boot. Brackett scans Jim next, and his device goes off near Jim's crotch.
Suspicion confirmed.
"I'll take the wire in your pants," he says. Jim just stares at him, unmoving. "Unless you want me to have Mr. Sandburg get it out for you," Brackett adds, fueling the imaginations of fangirls everywhere. Jim sighs and removes the wire. Brackett holds the scanner to each of their faces, and demands their protein transmitters. Jim and Blair look at each other, signalling to the audience and to Brackett that that was their last best hope, and drop the transmitters into Brackett's beer. Brackett informs them the detonator is on a timer, and their only option is to do as he says.
Carolyn reports to Simon that the transmitters were found in a Peruvian restaurant. So which was it, Bolivian or Peruvian? She cross-indexed iron ore sources and South American restaurants and narrowed down Brackett's residence. (Well, I mean, assuming the chili pepper came from his neighborhood, right?)
Brackett has Blair drive him and Jim to a fenced compound, where he pulls a gun on the guard, and Jim knocks out said guard to save his life. "There'll be no murder on my watch." "So far," says Brackett agreeably.
In the compound, they come to a tiled bridge. Brackett explains that there are mines under some of the tiles, and the pattern changes daily, so there's no way to get across without each day's map unless you have Sentinel senses and can hear the buzzing of the live mines. Oh, great, it's one of those compounds protected by a series of difficult but surpassable puzzles. Brackett yammers on about how and why they have to get him across safely, and Blair snaps, "Let us work." He tells Jim, "Remember our exercises. Focus, concentrate, and please stay out of your own way." Tight close-up on Jim, and we know his senses are at work because he looks like a big slack-jawed dummy. Jim begins to slowly walk forward, one tile at a time, Blair a few steps behind.
A SWAT team surrounds the suspected site of Brackett's house.
Halfway across the bridge, one foot poised midstep, Jim zones on the bright red tiles. "Jim? Oh man, not now, not now!" Blair hops forward and grips him by the shoulder, holding him up. His voice slowly begins to cut through Jim's reverie: "C'mon, Jim. Jim, c'mon. Breathe, buddy, c'mon, that's it. Relax, man, relax." Jim shakes his head and blinks. Just as he's shaking off the zone, Blair stumbles, and Jim grabs him. "Don't move!" Blair clings to Jim like a little monkey.
Cling, my pretties!
Jim grips Blair's hand, and tells him to step where he steps. Nearing the end, Jim long-strides over the last few rows. Blair follows, and, shorter-legged, jumps into Jim's waiting arms. Brackett does not require as much assistance.
Brackett pauses at a console on the far side of the bridge and hits a button. "There, that activates the entire minefield with the systems override. Now there's no safe path across the bridge." Wait, what? The fact that that's an option means there is a special "puzzle version" of the minefield and I have no idea why that's the default setting.
Simon sends the SWAT team into the house. He's wearing an attractive tight black turtleneck under his tac vest. Has anyone ever noticed that Simon is always wearing turtlenecks or mandarin-collar button-downs? Does he always have a hickey? Because only four people work at Cascade PD, Carolyn and Taggart go in, and immediately find a time bomb. Carolyn stands guard with a gun--she's even a cop? I thought she was a civilian forensics expert--while Joel sits down in front of the bomb, turns his hat around, and sweats.
Puzzle #2. "Any jiggling with the lock will set off the alarm, so you'd better get it right the first time," says Brackett, as Jim and Blair face down a large combination dial below four bars of red light. (Oh dear, more red! That's Jim's secret weakness!) Blair suggests "not reyling on your ears, but your fingertips. Let your sense of touch tell you when the tumbler is in place," because we just need one more sense for a bingo. Jim agrees, closes his eyes, and turns the dial slowly. He might as well have left them open: once he gets a number, one of the red lights turns green. I posit that this is poor safe design.
Taggart squeezes his eyes shut and cuts the last wire just as the timer runs down to one second. He's pleased not to explode, but a TV comes on, and on tape, Brackett says, "I've been expecting you. That bomb was a fake. I'd be running if I were you." Joel and Carolyn run outside just before the house explodes.
Jim, Blair, and Brackett enter a hangar. So, just the two puzzles then. They've found Brackett's goal: a state of the art stealth jet. Jim realizes he's just broken into a CIA research lab. Brackett climbs into the cockpit and promises to defuse the detonator from the air. He tries to get rid of the boys by telling them they'd better warn the coming guards about the minefield, but Jim sends Blair to do that (which he does by throwing his shoe like a little girl) while Jim himself stays behind to... jump onto the jet! Yes. As the jet slowly taxis to the gate, Jim climbs up and pulls a conveniently located external "blow the top off the cockpit" lever. He pulls Brackett out and they hand-to-hand on top of the jet. Brackett's fallen onto the ground and Jim's on top of him, pulling his hair like a little girl, when Brackett pulls out his remote detonator-defuser and cries, "It's broken!" And it's going to blow in five minutes! And it's in the trunk of his car.
The guards run safely across the minefield. "Well, it sure took you guys long enough to override that... override... or whatever it was, I don't..." Blair almost certainly ad-libs. Jim and Brackett arrive just as Blair's surrendering on his knees (ooh) and Jim gets them out of hot water using his conveniently retained badge and the power of yelling sternly.
They get to the bomb with forty-seven seconds to spare. It has "dual triggers," Brackett explains, which means he and Jim have to pull the wires simultaneously. They do, and it's sort of cute: "Ready and, blue!" They finish with one second on the clock, and take a moment to breathe as police cars begin to round the horizon. Then Jim punches Brackett in the face.
Jim, Simon, Taggart and Carolyn stand around in Simon's office, tying up some expository loose ends to nobody's satisfaction. Jim seems exhilarated now that it's over; he's playing with a ball, and he claps Taggart on the back and laughs joyfully.
As they head out of the office, the medlab doctor comes up to Jim and apologizes for losing her temper with him earlier. "Are your insincts always so on the money?" she asks. "Once in awhile I get lucky," Jim grins, as Carolyn glances up from her desk and glares. Jim asks if she's headed back to Atlanta, and she says she figured she'd "stick around for a few days, decompress." Because if there's one thing we've learned from all this, it's that ebola can waaaaait. Jim says there's lots to see and do, but she cuts him off as Blair walks into the bullpen, turning and crying, "Hiiiiii!" Blair stops and blinks. "Uh, hi." Doctor goes up and asks Blair out, and he agrees. They decide to go to the museum right away. Blair waves to Jim. "Okay, ta-ta," says Jim loudly from his perch on Carolyn's desk. "Bye-bye." Carolyn mocks him a little, and then rubs his arm consolingly as he shakes his head and then shrugs. Poor Jim and his very-nearly-textual thwarted gay longing!
All by myself (except for Carolyn)... don't wanna be...
Bottom Line: Even though the puzzle-solving adventure heart of this episode contains only two puzzles and neither bears scrutiny, and nor does the rest of the plot, this is a fun episode. Jim and Blair touch gratuitously, and are sexy-vulnerable with Brackett calling the shots, suggesting they put their hands in each other's pants, etc. I sort of like Brackett, even though he is "a total DICK!!" I am confused, though, about why they made him know about the Sentinel abilities, and then it just never came up again. Nor was anyone ever worried about an amoral rogue running around with that information. Oh, we can trust him! Remember how he and Jim said color words in unison that time? He really has a heart of gold, you know.
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The Roundup Senses Used: Taste (blindfold test, chili pepper); Sight (night vision in the loft); Smell (chili pepper); Hearing (minefield); Touch (combo lock)
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1x8 Love and Guns
Blair's driving Jim through traffic in a pale blue convertible with the top down, as they have an echt-Jim-and-Blair conversation:
JIM: Why don't we get some pizza?
BLAIR: Pie of death? No way, man.
JIM: All right. How about Mexican?
BLAIR: Why don't you shoot the lard straight into your veins, Jim? Come on.
JIM: Sandburg, have you noticed a sudden dropoff in the amount of people that'll eat with you?
Jim only half-listens as Blair complains about the construction ("Night work only, run by insomniac road crews. I mean, that's the only solution, right?") but becomes suddenly alert when he sees a construction worker pull out a machine gun. His "Oh, shit" is cut off by a worker blowing a rocket launcher. Panic ensues. Jim and Blair crouch behind the convertible, and Jim hands Blair his phone. "Get backup and get your butt off the streets." "It may not be in that order," says Blair, taking the phone and dashing off, hunched over.
Jim pulls out his pistol and stands, yelling "POLICE, DROP YOUR WEAPON!", but the construction guy just fires an automatic round into Blair's car. Jim dashes for cover behind another car, just to maximize the damage. Backup arrives (that Blair is quick), and as the bad guys turn their attention to the other cops, Jim reloads his pistol and spots the leader mirrored in a hubcap. Jim shoots him neatly, but gets into hand-to-hand with another guy. He's gotten to the ever-satisfying "hold him by the collar and punch him repeatedly in the face" stage when Blair gets back in the battle by spraying down the villains with a convenient emergency firehose. This gives the on-duty law enforcement the upper hand. Blair runs to lament his poor shot-up Corvair while Jim compliments him, "Nice hose job." If that line has been used in a sexual context in a fic, I actually don't want to know.
We cross-fade over to the kind of post-adventure, police-car-milling-around wrap-up scene we usually get in the last two minutes of the show. And it doesn't disappoint in terms of 30 Seconds with Blair (TM). Jim goes over to where Blair's sitting on the hood of a police car. "Hey, Chief, look, there's no reason to be ashamed if you're a little queasy," he says kindly, putting both hands on Blair's knees. On his knees, dude. Classic gay chicken move. (That would explain a lot about Jim and Blair's relationship, actually.)
Two men touching each other, physically, and emotionally... on the hood of a car...
Blair surprises Jim by grinning and chirping about being "ENERGIZED!!" "I just, I got into action! It was just, just, AH! It was SO WILD!" Jim backs away slowly. "Maybe we should get you home." "I mean, now I know what it's like to be you! I mean, not the enhanced senses part, but that reptilian brain, primal man, survival of the fittest, (incoherent squeal of ecstasy)!" Jim asks for the keys. He's going to drive the shot-up Corvair back? Blair makes "blam, blam" gun noises.
It's Simon's office, so it must be time for exposition! Jim has tracked down the guy who sold the construction robbers their weapons, but he's dead. He was employed by one Hector Carusco, a rich Chilean expatriate whom Jim suspects of being a big-time arms smuggler. But when they go to talk to Carusco about his gardener's death, he puts up a good show of innocence.
Jim paces on the Rainier campus, looking adorably old and out of place. Blair runs up to meet him, and Jim tells Blair he has a job for him. Blair is all excited until Jim tells him it's recon on Carusco's daughter, Maya, a Rainier student. Blair wanted something more exciting. He bitches and moans until Maya walks by. She's gorgeous. Blair gets a dopey grin and agrees to take the job: "Jim, Jim, I got this one, I got your back! Can't let my partner down, can I?" Jim watches him scamper off, and shakes his head.
At the station Simon tells Jim he's been assigned to work with a Fed on this case, and Jim is characteristically annoyed. Of course, in the next scene, a lovely lady comes up to Jim while he's got his hand halfway up the vending machine ("Can I help you?" he asks), and anyone who doubts for a second that she's the Fed has never seen TV before. After getting on Jim's bad side by disparaging junk food (which apparently nobody is allowed to do but Blair), she introduces herself as Agent Drennan, ATF, and asks for Det. Ellison. "Ellison, Ellison... I haven't seen him in quite some time. Pardon me," says Jim, pushing past her and right into Simon who says, "Jim! Good. I see you've found Detective Ellison." Now, how long did he expect to be able to keep that up?
Artifact Room B. Blair is busily moving giant piles of papers from one part of the room to another when Maya comes in, annoyed, at first, at "being traded from one professor to another," but Blair smooths things out, apologetically telling her he requested her specially because he knew she was good. Man, he has never looked more beautiful than right now in the cool shafts of light coming in through the storage room window.
You'll have to ignore the funny mouth position as he would not shut up long enough for me to cap him.
She says she'd like to be asked, but softens toward him when he says, "All right. Then I'm asking. Would you please be my--whooa!" and all of his papers fall to the floor.
Drennan gets on Jim's nerves. Next.
Maya reads from a binder in Blair's office, asking if he really spent three months with the Kombai Tree People. He tells her a story about how he was the first white man they had ever seen and they thought he was an evil spirit, and he freaked out and fell down, defusing their mistrust with his own goofy uncoordination. Hmm, I'm sensing a pattern. Also: Blair has never been more beautiful than right now, blinking his huge giant-pupiled eyes in the soft light of the storage room lamp.
Seriously, Blair, shut up for a goddamn second.
Jim and Drennan go to meet with one of Jim's snitches, who tells them about a gun shipment coming into Cascade. I find it amusing that when Jim's about to pay him he warns, "You be cool. Don't call attention to yourself," while ostentatiously whipping around some paper money. Drennan isn't satisfied with the interview, and runs after him and gives him $500 as a down payment on further information. When she tells Jim what she's done he yells at her--it's too much, he won't know how to spend it, and she's ruined him for Jim. She says he'll just work harder. Oh, this'll turn out well.
Maya brings Blair to her house to meet her father. That was quick; they met, what, this morning? Blair impresses Hector by knowing a lot about South American art. A hired thug type (Vargas, but I'm not sure when we are supposed to learn the name) comes up and tells Hector there's an "insect problem in the greenhouse," which Hector excuses himself to take care of immediately. And that should be Blair's first tip-off that he is a supervillain. Indeed, we see that the "insect problem" is none other than Jim's snitch, gagged and beaten for the trouble he took to find Drennan's information.
Jim and Drennan get called to some rocky ditch where the snitch's machete-maimed body has been found. Drennan apologizes at first, but gets defensive with Jim's relentless told-you-sos, saying she was trying to protect the city. They argue.
Maya and Blair stand in the quad, talking, leaning together to kiss again and again. That was quick; she didn't seem to really like him that much when they met, this morning; but I guess he has already met her father. From a distance, Jim watches, frowning slightly. Go, scorned stalker Jim, go. Maya and Blair make plans to meet up later, and while they're kissing again, Jim comes up and interrupts, "Sandburg." Blair looks up, distinctly not pleased to see him. He introduces "my friend Jim" as "a researcher" whom Blair is helping "with a project on human behavior." Is that what the zzzzz. "Sounds interesting," says Maya. Actually, it sounds vague, but Maya is too late for class to quibble. She leaves with one last lingering caress to Blair's arm. When she walks off, Blair turns to Jim, grinning. "It's not what you think." Jim stares, impassive yet judgmental. "Okay, it is what you think, but I also found out about her father." Blair reports that Hector's just a nice guy! Who loves art! And flowers! Seriously, he bought the "insects in the greenhouse" story? Jim says they have reason to believe Hector was involved in the snitch's murder, and Maya may be involved too. Blair says it's "impossible" and yells at Jim to "leave it alone!" They part ways in anger.
Blair comes to his office to find Maya lighting candles and pouring out wine. Blair's impressed, and asks why. "Because tonight is special." Yes, it is the first night after they met THIS MORNING. Fade to after dinner, when Maya brings out an absurdly giant pastry. She claims (although later admits she was lying) that the tradition with this pastry is that they have to feed each other. Blair gets an adorable whoa-I'm-in-over-my-head-but-I-kinda-like-it look after she sucks pastry off his finger. Maya talks about how her mother made this pastry for her father. "It's a very special pastry." The word "pastry" has lost all meaning for me. "Like you're very special." I'm inclined to agree that that is exactly how Blair is special.
Special like a pastry.
"You never talk about your mother," Blair says gently. Jeez, Blair, she was in class half the day, there wasn't a lot of time for her to get into it since THIS MORNING. Maya says she died in a riding accident. Blair asks some more questions, getting around to her father and what he does (she says vaguely that he imports and exports tools and machinery). When he asks why they left Chile, she wonders why he's asking so many questions. He says he wants to know everything about her. "Why?" "Because I think I'm falling in love with you." (1) You have to admire his audacity, the apparent guiltless back-and-forth between investigator and lover. Although I guess that's the same thing he does with Jim OHHH. (2) THEY MET. THIS. MORNING. She agrees that she is falling in love with him, and they make out. When Blair brings his hand up to touch her, she stays it, confessing that she is a virgin. Wait, I'm picking something up; is that a unicorn? When she goes to kiss him again, he draws back. "What's wrong?" "Nothing. I just don't think that this is the night for this," says Blair, taking a long drink. I don't either. Because of when they met. Blair continues, haltingly, "Uh. I, ahhh. I'm sorry, I gotta go." And with hilarious suddenness, he's outta there, leaving Maya to put her head in her hands in the universal gesture of Stupid, stupid!. Wow. It's totally not clear if that was his conscience catching up with him, or if he's just an asshole. Or if he's gay.
Okay, so here's the thing: even if they didn't meet this morning--even if there was supposed to be a passage of time I wasn't aware of--there is no way Blair got to the "You never talk about your mother" stage of the relationship before the first time they even consider having sex. Especially considering Blair's purported smooth operator status. But maybe he holds off on sex in proportion with the amount he loves someone. (That would explain a lot about Jim and Blair's relationship, actually.)
Jim corners Simon and gets his permission to go check out a boat docking from Chile without Drennan. When he gets there, though, he smells Drennan's presence and calls her out. They both independently identified the boat as a likely suspect. Jim cuts open a bag of coffee and finds a gun (dry quip: "Prize in every bag.") He super-hears an ambush and just narrowly knocks Drennan out of the way of gunshot. Of course he pulls her down onto himself missionary-position-style, but neither of them makes an entendre about it. I mean Drennan says "I'll try looping around the back" but I'm pretty sure she is talking about ambushing the shooters. Jim shoots something which explodes, like ya do.
Drennan tells Simon at the station later that even though the mission was successful (and even though, as Jim points out, "I practically saved your life"), she wants to file charges against Jim for allowing key witnesses to escape. Jim says "It's becoming crystal clear to me why you work alone!" and she huffs off. Simon tells Jim that Drennan watched her partner die last year. Ouch, nice work, Jim. I'm not unsympathetic, as this is at least as belligerent as Jim would be if he had to work with someone after Blair died; although, Jim at least would be belligerent and competent.
Henri calls out that Jim's on TV--he apparently granted a brief, not-very-informative interview about the takedown. We cut to Maya doing homework in front of the TV. She looks up and sees Jim.
Maya bursts into the office. "You lied to me!" She says she knows Blair's friend is a policeman, and asks if he's one too. Blair, urgently (and, in a green pullover thingy, looking MORE BEAUTIFUL THAN HE HAS EVER LOOKED): "I'm not a cop, but sometimes I do help Jim out. In a scientific way!" Interestingly, those are the exact same phrases that usually follow "I'm not gay, but..."
Surely I am not alone in my desire to draw hearts and bubbles all around him?
"So what was I, an experiment?" Maya demands. That's what Jim would like to know OHHH. Blair confesses that he was asked to get close to her to find out about her father, but tells her that he reported that he was a great guy. With a catch in his voice, Blair insists, "Everything that happened between you and me, everything that we shared, that we said, that we felt, that was real! We can work this out!" "No. No we can't." Maya walks out.
Jim, listening to ringing over the phone, turns a weird cube with what looks like a ring in it around and around in his hand. It's really distracting because I cannot for the life of me figure out what it is. In his office Blair picks up the phone, crying eagerly, "Maya?" "It's Ellison." "Heya, Jim. Look, I really don't feel like talking to you right now." Ouch. When he hears about Maya, Jim says, "I'm sorry," but he adds, "But I'm right about her father." He explains how the operation is run, and says they're inches from making their case. Blair doesn't protest their innocence this time, just says, "That's great, but that doesn't help me any. I'm falling in love with her, Jim." Jim abruptly stops turning his ring-thingy, mouth frozen slack. "I've gotta go," says Blair. Jim blinks at the dial tone, puts down the receiver, and slowly rubs the ring-thingy between his hands.
Okay, so it is clearly a symbol of Jim's love, but what is it?
Hector finds Maya crying and asks what's wrong. "It's Blair!" she wails. Oh, God, Blair's life is now forfeit. Maya tells Hector that Blair was working with the police, spying on them. She asks if it's true, what they say about Hector, and Hector assures her it is not, but then goes to take a phone call in the Greenhouse of Evil. After Hector leaves, Vargas tells Maya to be more careful about her friends, and threatens both Blair and her. I am pretty sure the boss would not like him doing that.
Blair comes to Maya's house and, when the housekeeper won't let him in, wanders around back looking looking for an unguarded entrance. It is while he is thus stalking that he overhears Hector scheming with an associate through the there-is-no-reason-why-it-should-be-open greenhouse window. He runs down the lawn and is amusingly punched in the face by a fist which launches in from off-screen. Now, I know why we didn't see Vargas standing there--he was right next to the camera--but there is zero reason why Blair shouldn't have. There were no obstructions! As Vargas fireman's-lifts Blair's tiny, tiny body, we see Maya watching from a bedroom window.
We come back from commercial on tied-up gagged frightened-looking Blair. Ahhh, I love this show. Hector holds a fake-ass cardboard machete up to his throat, and it's actually Vargas who advocates holding off on killing him right away for strategic purposes. Hector is out for Blair's blood because of Blair's misuse of his daughter. But he allows himself to be talked down, for the time being.
Seriously. Is it made out of cloth?
In the station breakroom, Jim tells Drennan a story about watching a fellow-rookie die shortly after he left the academy. "I spent the next six months pissed off at the world, angry, confrontation. I did some stupid, seriously stupid things." Possibly this explains the horrible moustache. But, Jim concludes, there was nothing he could have done. "He was my partner. You're supposed to protect your partner," says Drennan. Jim, intensely: "You do your best." By the way, Jim, it's nine o'clock; do you know where your partner is now? "If it all falls apart, hopefully you find some forgiveness, and you move on, cause that's all you can do," says Jim. Right. Tell that to yourself in two years, Jim. Jim gets a call from Maya (where did she get his number?), telling him where the smugglers are meeting (some warehouse) and where Blair is (there). Jim tells her to go to her room and stay there until he gets there.
Maya doesn't go to her room; she goes to the greenhouse, where she starts to untie Blair, feet first, because that's the most useful way. Blair gets a look of fright, and Maya looks around just in time to get punched in the face.
Jim loads guns into various holsters and heads for the elevator, ordering Simon (chain of cowha?) "Nobody move without my word, we spook Vargas, we get Sandburg killed!"
Vargas sketches out evil plan to make Maya's murder look like Blair's fault. "Your father will believe what I tell him to believe, just like he believed your mother died in a fall from a horse!" Blech.
Jim and Drennan arrive at the estate. "Cover me," says Jim. "You sure you trust me?" "Absolutely." She kind of does a shitty job, though, as the housekeeper opens fire and Drennan yells "LOOK OUT!" at the most useless moment, when Jim has no cover.
In the greenhouse, Blair protects Maya, launching himself into Vargas and crashing gracelessly through a tableful of plants. Vargas kneels over him and knocks him out with the heel of his palm (that exists, right? that is a body part that exists?) and then goes after Maya. Meanwhile, outside, Drennan gets shot, and Jim goes to her side, but she insists she's okay and tells him to go ahead. Her life is forfeit. Vargas chases Maya through the greenhouse and has just got her down when Jim smashes onto the scene in a shower of plate-glass. Jim and Vargas hand-to-hand, and they smash through ANOTHER plate-glass window out into the yard. For some reason Vargas is already clearly dead at this point, but there is a gratuitous and puzzling sound of silenced gunshot. Jim lies on top of the guard, apparently dead, but then he rolls off with nothing more than an attractive scratch to the face.
Gun-smugglers meeting in warehouse. Simon interrupts. The police have won.
Loft. Jim is making stir fry. Drennan pops up from under the counter, her arm in a sling. Jim banters with her a bit. Where's Blair? There's a knock at the door--Maya.
Oh, there's Blair--lying on a giant pile of pillows on the other side of his half-closed curtain about four feet from where Jim and Drennan were cooking. He sits up when Maya enters. Maya tells him she's here to say goodbye, as she's going back to Chile. She sits down on the bed beside him and touches his mouth, which is still a little red from the being-gagged ordeal. "I don' wancha t'go," Blair says thickly. Oh, Blair. She stands, and he looks up at her, MORE BEAUTIFUL THAN EVER.
I only want to say, if there is a way...
Jim appears at the curtain with a bowl of food. "Have you been talking to Drennan? I'm trying to have some Chinese food here, and she's telling me MSG is a hallucinogen," he chatters in gentle, quiet voice. "Would you straighten her out?" Blair looks up briefly, eyes shiny, mouth tight; meanwhile Jim has the kindest, tenderest expression ever. He holds out the bowl. "Want some noodles?"
"Want some noodles?" is love
"Not right now, Jim, all right?" Blair barely manages. Jim exits respectfully, and Blair lies back down on his pillows, gasping shakily, and weeping hot, salty, canonical tears.
Bottom Line: So, the Drennan plot: can I get a what? I mean, Jim counseling a one-off guest star on moving past a dead partner? Where does he--why--how does this--I don't know. Meanwhile, Blair falling in love was good (even if it wasn't with Jim, and even if it was just for one day). If nothing else, it provided Jim a perfect moment of frozen horror when Blair tells him about it over the phone; and I love that final, sweet attempt at comfort. And, of course, the crying. Blair is very good at crying. His suffering is exquisite.
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The Roundup Senses used: Sight (hubcap; aim at docks, arguably), Smell (Drennan at dock), Hearing (bad guys at dock)
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1x9 Attraction
Three masked thieves swing into a skyscraper office by Tarzanning through the plate-glass window. They use some high-tech acid thingy to burn the locks on the safe and steal a bunch of diamonds.
Next day, Jim tries to get a report out of the jewel owners--two bickering old guys--while Blair looks on fondly. I don't know if that's look of Jim! My hero, doing his job or That'll be us in thirty years!
A car comes to a stop outside. The driver is none other than Marcus from Babylon 5, complete with long hair and wacky moustache/goatee combo. Wait, I'm picking something up again... it's another unicorn!
Jim finishes up with the old guys and says "Let's go, Chief," even though he's only walking about two feet away to investigate the safe. As Blair pushes by to join Jim in his quadrant of the room, one old guy mutters to the other, "What's he, some kind of Indian?" Is that the only meta-comment we've ever gotten on "Chief"?
As Jim crouches by the safe, Blair stands by giving the world at large a nothing-to-see-here-move-right-along smile. Then he bends down and whispers, "You picking up something?" Jim is, but "it's hard to define." Blair urges him to describe it. "My vision's clearer and my hearing's a little better. My skin's tingling like I just finished working out." He got the same feeling at other, similar jewelry robbery sites, but he didn't mention it, which upsets Blair: "You didn't tell me?!" Blair suggests he walk around to see if the intensity level changes in different spots. Jim obligingly wanders around the room, and Blair gives the old guys another tight smile. A distance from the safe, Jim turns to Blair and says at a normal volume, "No." With one more sheepish look at the bystanders, Blair rushes over to stand ridiculously close to Jim and continue their whispered conspiring.
It's all right, guys, you're in a safe space! (Get it?)
Outside, Blair annoys Jim by pestering him for more specifics. Jim thinks the feeling got more intense around the safe, but he's not sure. As they pass by Marcus's car, Marcus pulls out a normal-sized cell phone (he must be rich) and tells someone, "It's the same cop, Ellison." I admire his commitment to realism in allowing ample time for his unheard correspondent to speak, but I'm also kind of bored.
At the station, Simon, Jim and Blair take turns as-you-knowing that the jewel thieves get past security system with unexpected daredevil acrobatics. Jim reports they're checking out local circuses, and Simon tells him to keep at it. Simon and Jim head for the door, but when Jim tells Blair "Let's go," Blair stays put and points backward, which causes Jim to look at Simon to his left. I kind of love that Jim and Blair's nonverbal communication is so subtle that I, a faithful student of their interactions, do not understand it. "Something else?" Simon asks. Blair grins, "Something new is happening with Jim's senses!" Jim sighs. "I don't think we need to bother the captain with that." Blair reeeeally wants to get into it, but Simon asks, "Is it going to help me solve this case?" and Blair chatters, "I don't know, I haven't quite figured it out yet," so Simon orders, "Out of my office." Blair looks terrifically hurt.
A hot redheaded girl enters a bar. At nearby table, Jim gets up. We pan out to see that Jim and Blair were sitting with two girls. Blair leaps up to follow Jim. Jim is not enthused about hitting on ladies--"Sandburg, I'm just not really good at this kind of stuff"--and Blair starts to go into Guide mode, telling him to "Just relax, man, take it easy," touching his chest, etc. The redhead brushes by, and she and Jim make brief eye contact, causing Jim to lose his train of thought. Blair watches after her, goofily impressed, and physically pushes Jim to go over and talk to her.
Jim and the girl, Laura, make small talk, and Jim gets this unexpectedly super-tender-sweet smile.
Quick poll: this expression says:
a. Look at the hot lady!
b. Look at the adorable kitten!
We fade to later that night; Laura is sitting on a pool table spilling out the story of her life, and Jim is playing with her hair, totally not listening. She asks him to tell her something about himself, so he leans in to kiss her. She draws back, trying to put him off, saying she's not looking for a relationship, but he just keeps running a finger down her arms, touching her lips--basically being completely unJimlike. It's effectively disturbing. "We could take our time. Get to know each other. Just be friends," Jim murmurs distractedly, his mouth almost touching hers. She gets up and walks out, leaving Jim alone and dazed. When he gets it together enough to follow her, she's already driving off.
Evidence lockup room. Jim stands around while Blair look through some files, saying suggestively, "I didn't hear you come in last night." "It was late," says Jim. Blair's all set to be proud, but Jim admits he was driving around alone. "I guess she wasn't interested." Blair touches his bicep comfortingly. "At least you went down swingin'. Are you going to try to see her again?" "Nah. She didn't even tell me her last name." Jim chuckles to himself. "So what's next, Coach? Twenty laps around the field?" Blair laughs, "Man, you are hopeless!"
They both love it when Jim strikes out!
Jim notices Blair is setting up some objects, and he asks what's up. "Trust me," says Blair. "Coming from you, those are the two scariest words in the English language," says Jim. Blair explains that Jim checked these items from the jewelry crime scenes out of evidence ("I've gotten really good at forging your signature" (whoa, violation! plus, Jim was standing right there, he could have asked.)) He gives Jim a flashlight found at one scene and asks if he's getting any of the feeling, but Jim isn't, and he thinks maybe it was all in his head. Blair doesn't believe that, but Jim loses patience for the project and walks off.
Thieves break into a diamond store across the street from a fancy party at a club. A little later, Taggart fills Jim and Blair in (a guard died, upsetting Blair, which is nice), and Jim goes to investigate the safe. He gets "that sensory thing" again, and Blair excited. "Oh! Okay! Uh.... use it!" "How?" "I don't know. Uh..." I like how Blair is always obviously thinking on his feet, making this up as he goes along; but I think I've complained before about how everything he tries always works the very first time. He asks if Jim can pick up any other hotspots besides by the safe. Jim walks around, then stops and looks up, zooming up through a hole in the ceiling. He grabs Blair by the collar and pulls him close to show him. They got in through the skylight. Blair wonders where the thieves came from, and Jim goes outside and finds a cable from the roof of the club where the party's going on. They tightrope-walked, of course!
Jim and Blair cross to the party. A woman stops them, saying the party is "invitation only"; Jim flashes his badge, but she doesn't care that he's a cop. He goes in anyway, Blair following, snickering. Blair's first priority is to grab some free food; his second is to ask what they're doing. Jim's getting his feeling again. After smoothing things out with the club manager--a guy with a Marcuslike English accent--Jim suddenly sees Laura across the room. Blair grins. "There are no accidents, man. This is a sign from God. You must go. Go forward, man!" Jim doesn't need to be told twice. He's hardly taken a few steps when Simon comes up behind him, yelling, "Jim!" "Oh, hi Simon," Jim murmurs, and then goes on to meet Laura, who puts both hands on his face in the typical The Sentinel sign of affection. Simon, righteously PO'd at being snubbed by one of his detectives, asks Blair what's going on, and Blair's like, "I dunno, he met this girl..." Oh, sure, Simon will be great with that explanation.
In the coatroom, Jim runs his hands up and down Laura's bare thighs, and they sort of gyrate against each other, kissing rapidly on the lips until Jim moves over to her neck. This is getting graphic.
I mean, just look at his closed-eyed ecstasy. Is that allowed on TV?
Laura pulls off Jim's jacket and starts unbuttoning his shirt. So I know that Jim is under the influence of his senses (oh, sorry, was that a spoiler?), but what about Laura? Is she just horny or what? Far be it from me to disparage the notion that any human being would not pounce Jim given half the chance, but she doesn't know him like we do. He could be a total creep. I mean, he's acting like one.
Out in the party, a fight breaks out. Simon tells Blair, "Get Ellison," and goes after the fleeing combatant. He collars him and finds some gold watches and jewelry in his coat.
"Jim," says Blair, coming around the coat rack. He stops short and blinks, taken aback at the sight of Jim holding and making out with Laura straddling his lap. They're both clothed, but about not to be; Jim hastily rearranges Laura's dress to cover her breast. "Um..." says Blair, chuckling nervously, and he points back in the direction in which he came and makes good his escape.
Simon's finishing up his arrest when Blair and Jim re-emerge into the party. "Sorry, sir, I..." "Drop it," snaps Simon. As the watch thief is led away, Marcus comes out of the crowd and gives hard look to disheveled-haired Laura.
After the break, Simon and Jim agree that the pickpocket is not the thief they're looking for (why steal a million dollars in diamonds and then hang around to lift some paltry watches?) Jim wants to stick around, sure the real thieves are still around, but Simon says, "I can't explain away our presence here to the deputy mayor and six members of the damn city council by telling them you had a feeling!" Good for you, Simon. Put your foot down one goddamn time. Blair shoots Jim a somebody's-in-troublllllllle look.
Jim looks back at Laura and sees Marcus grab her by the arm. He super-listens to their argument, with Marcus zealously calling her a tart and a whore. She throws a glass of water in Marcus's face and walks off. Jim meets her, asks if she's okay, and she says "My ex can be a real bastard," and "Want to take me home?" Jim smiles.
Simon and Blair look on, bemused. Blair explains that Jim met Laura the other night, "and he's already totally infatuated." "And now he's acting like some teenager," Simon concludes, case closed in his book. Blair, concerned now: "No, it's more than that. It's like he can't even reason. He's working on pure instinct." After Simon leaves, Blair continues to squint unhappily in Jim and Laura's direction. How much would I love if it actually turned out that Blair just automatically assumed there was a serious problem with Jim's senses every time he liked a girl?
Marcus and the guy with the Marcuslike accent, who I guess is his brother, conspire. We learn sort of offhandly that they're jewel thieves, but most of the scene is spent on Marcus's love life angst. He's dating another girl, Callie, to try to make Laura jealous. His brother makes fun of him, saying Laura's doing the same thing with the police detective, but Marcus says he told her to go after the detective to spy on him. So that explains it, somewhat. She still kind of seems like she's just as primally drawn to him as Jim is to her, though.
Sure enough, we cut to Laura shoving Jim up against a mirror in her bedroom. She cryptically says "If things were different..." "What things?" "Maybe I'll tell you about it some time." Then she takes off her dress, so Jim doesn't ask. Many many shots of them making out in bed in their underwear.
Much of it, happily, shameless armporn. Is he still wearing his watch?
Next morning, Jim comes home. Blair looks up from where he's lying in bed, working on some school stuff, and we get one of the best shots available of the elusive Blair's room. Blair comes out and leans by his doorway while Jim gets some coffee, and they have a mundane conversation about the lack of breakfast options, with Jim grinning and loving life and Blair speaking in a dull, doom-and-gloom voice. It's delightful. "Sorry I ran out on your last night. I guess I got a little preoccupied," Jim beams, heading off toward his bedroom. "Pre-occupied. I think I'd use a different word," Blair mutters to himself. What word?
And we cut straight into Jim's room, Jim gratuitously shirtless, light from the window highlighting the curves of his muscles. He unzips his pants.
This episode is looking up already!
Blair runs up the stairs.
Okay, now this episode is really looking up. Look at how he's smiling! That there in the corner? Jim's naked back. No lie.
BLAIR: Hey, Jim. We gotta talk about something. Um, this woman.
JIM (still wearing pants, even though we totally saw him about to push them off a second ago): Her name is Laura.
BLAIR: Right, Laura, yeah. Don't you think that your attraction to her is just a little bit off-scale? I mean, I've been watching you, and...
JIM (now wearing a tank top--nooo, show! wrong direction!): Whoa, whoa, whoa. I think you just crossed that line. Now, you can study this Sentinel thing all you want, but stay out of my personal life.
On the one hand, that's kind of an ouch line, because Jim placing a boundary between Sentinel project and personal life has got to be detrimental to Blair's getting in his pants; however, the fact that they're having this conversation while Jim gets undressed and re-dressed, and neither of them is fazed by that (it's obviously nothing Blair hasn't seen before), is about as delightfully ludicrous as Jim saying "Let's just be friends" while Laura's lips are close enough for him to taste. I mean: Jim's pants are ALREADY OPEN TO HIM. His pants, his person, his extremest means, lie all unlocked to Blair's occasions, for serious.
BLAIR: I have been studying, Jim, all night long, because I was sure that this thing with Laura somehow factors into the experience you're having at the crime scene. [Ed. note: It's about time.]
JIM: You're nuts!
BLAIR: I just hadn't been able to make the connection yet.
JIM: There is no connection! Just two ordinary human beings that, you know, found each other. [Swoon.]
BLAIR (taking off his glasses dramatically): There is nothing ordinary about this. [Heterosexuality is unnatural!]
JIM: I don't wanna analyze it, Sandburg, okay?
BLAIR: Think about it, Jim! When you saw her last night, it was like nothing else on the planet existed! [Including me, waaaah!]
JIM: So what? Why do you wanna rain on my parade? [Think about it, Jim!]
BLAIR: Okay, you're gonna have to go with me here, because this is a little bit off the wall, but I think I know what's going on. PHEROMONES.
JIM (dubiously): Pheromones.
Blair gives Jim a mini-lecture on pheromones, concluding with, "It's kinda like, ah, when people say that you got chemistry with somebody? Well, we actually do have chemistry." Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. Ha.
Blair lays out all the pieces for Jim: his senses are exaggerating the effect of pheromones, explaining his attraction; pheromones can stay active in the environment for hours, explaining why he got a funny feeling at the crime scenes, but not from the evidence out of lockup. Jim's not buying it, not about his senses, and not about Laura's involvement in the crimes: "Prove it!" Luckily, Blair has come prepared. He's been waving around a cup wrapped in a napkin, and now he hands it to Jim: "I want you to unwrap that and hold it in your hand." Jim does and immediately gets the feeling. Blair explains he grabbed the glass when Laura put it down at the party last night. "I'm really sorry, man," says Blair. "Maybe I'll tell you about it sometime," Jim muses. "Tell me what?" "Something Laura said last night. Almost like she was trying to confess." Yay, I'm so glad he's immediately convinced! First because we know it's true, so it would be annoying to have to deal with further objections, and second because it shows his immense faith in Blair's analysis skills.
Marcus and Laura plot against Marcus's brother.
Jim and Blair drive in the rain, and--oh my lordgod, they're talking about THEIR FEELINGS and THE NATURE OF LOVE! (!!) !
JIM: Somewhere inside I knew something wasn't right. I just didn't want to accept it.
BLAIR: Well of course you didn't! I mean, hey, man, I still wanna believe in Santa Claus! [Ed. note: isn't Blair Jewish?]
Jim rolls Blair a sidelong look.
BLAIR: What's so different about this? That kinda body chemistry doesn't come along every day and when it does, we have to believe that it's something more to keep ourselves from seeing it for what it really is, which is a purely instinctual reaction to another person's body chemistry.
Jim tightens his mouth at the road, clearly not into this explanation.
BLAIR: Jim, I have studied so many cultures and you know what? Nobody's got it figured out. I mean, hell, man, if someone ever did, there would be no art, no poetry, no music...
JIM: I just don't get it. I mean, how can it be chemical when the feelings are real feelings?
BLAIR: They are. That's the paradox. I mean, as a Sentinel, your body chemistry is going wild, but as a man--as a man, it affects your feelings! One's not exclusive to the other, Jim.
The mystery of love! Jim earnestly discussing his feelings! Blair earnestly discussing Jim's feelings! And Blair with his jaded-academic interpretation of love, and Jim wanting to believe that there's something more, something real, and not liking when Blair gets too analytical about it--I mean, that right there is the totally problem between them, isn't it? That's the one place where they don't understand each other, and it comes up again and again. I'm just having such a strong instinctual reaction to this conversation's body chemistry over here.
Our love is like/ a 19th century monograph/ But it's as real as the feelings I feel!
Stopped at the world's longest red light, Jim identifies Laura's car parked up ahead. Marcus gets out of a car across the street. A woman's ankle swings out of the passenger side door (oddly), sporting, Jim sees, Laura's anklet. Marcus gets into Laura's car on the other side, and it promptly blows up.
At the station, Simon shows Jim a wallet with Laura's ID they found at the explosion site, and says "I'm sorry." So wait, Jim didn't think it was Laura until now? Simon offers, but does not demand, to let Jim off the case, but Jim wants to work on it, surprising exactly no one. Blair comes in with some info on the circus act, so now they've at least ID'd the thieves.
Marcus's brother goes to his safe-deposit box, but finds the jewels missing. Blair and Jim arrive at the hotel, and we get an unnecessarily long shot of them walking in the door and up to the desk, Blair randomly patting Jim on the elbow, just to fill time, I guess. As they're waiting at the desk, they see Marcus's brother pass by, and they chase after him into a garden. Brother pulls a gun and Jim and Blair take cover behind a rock wall. "Stay here!" "You got it," Blair agrees. Wow, he was so accepting of being left behind in season 1. Jim follows Marcus's brother up to the roof of the hotel, where the brother decides to try tight-roping his way to freedom on a phone wire. This is pretty much the stupidest plan ever, as I'm sure tight-roping takes no less time than running back down to the ground floor and crossing the street. Also, because Jim has just arrived behind him with gun drawn. Jim seems to decide it would be dishonorable to shoot a man on a tightrope, so instead he shoots the rope, making Marcus's brother sway on the ledge, and disrupting phone service for the entire building. Jim pulls the brother off the ledge, declares, "I never did like the circus," and punches him out.
Jim arrives at Laura's hotel room to look around. He's puzzled to see two packed suitcases, and then hears movement, so he draws his gun. It's Laura. He blinks at her, slack-jawed, and then shakes his head, "You're under arrest," and uncertainly, "You have the right--to remain--silent." Laura cuts off his Miranda speech, telling him to stop, taking him by the collars and telling him, "You're the first good man I've met in a long time." He says he wants the truth, and she ties up some expository loose ends, including the identity of the woman who died (Marcus's girlfriend). Between kisses, she outlines a plan whereby Jim takes the diamonds back but lets her go, letting the world think she's dead. "Do you think you could do that? Please say yes." She takes off his jacket, and he kisses her and leans into her crotch-first. "All right," he says. Laura smiles, putting her hands up over her head against the post of her bed. Jim murmurs, "Just think of me from time to time," and, still kissing, handcuffs her to the conveniently ceiling-high bedpost.
I think this story would be fine if that was just it--Laura really did regret stealing the diamonds, and in the end was willing to give them up just to get away--but at the station later, Jim and Blair report to Simon that she masterminded everything and had planned to kill both Marcus and his brother to get all the jewels. Jim is matter-of-fact about the whole thing, and Blair is bouncy and happy (hm, I wonder why). There's a dumb bit where Jim turns sharply when an old lady passes, making Blair think it's happening again, and then says "Just kidding" and walks off, leaving Blair and Simon gazing after the trail of his luscious pheromones.
Bottom Line: I'm gonna say it. Jim's uncontrollable lust is kind of great. I mean, yes, it's heterosexual, but there are consolations for the heterosexuality:
1. It's unwilling.
2. He triumphs over it.
3. It's UNWILLING.
4. He clearly likes long hair?
Blair gets to do lots of Guiding this episode, and there are classic scenes of J/B in states of physical and emotional undress. All in all I approve.
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The Roundup Senses Used: Sight (skylight at second scene, Laura's anklet), Hearing (Marcus and Laura's argument)
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1x10 Vow of Silence
Oh, lovely, Jim and Blair are taking vacation together! Somehow Blair got Jim to drive them out to this rural kind of clearing / parking space without knowing in the slightest where they're actually going. Blair backgrounds that Jim hasn't had a day off in over a year (really???) and his skills have been getting a little dull from fatigue. Sentinels of old used to go on a retreat one day a year, and so shoudl Jim. Jim's guesses for where Blair is taking him are first golf course, then spa (? wtf spa?), then solitary communing with nature, all of which he's down with. He's less enthused when a yellow school bus arrives to pick them up: the sign says "ST. SEBASTIAN'S MONASTERY" and the driver is in full monk regalia.
On the bus, Jim leans over Blair's seat and asks him to confirm that that's not really a monk, is it, just a guy in a monk outfit. The monk speaks up to contradict him, referring to Blair as "Brother Blair." Blair puts his head in his hand.
Field trip! (All I can see here is the two of us / We are gonna fall in love.)
Two monks show Jim and Blair to their cell. (Which they will of course be sharing.) Jim gets a phone call from a girl, and the monks and Blair all look at each other awkwardly while he flirts and makes a date. (There's some priceless RB ad-libbing on the blooper reel where he gets more and more lewd.) The abbot confiscates Jim's phone and also demands his gun; Jim resists, but at Blair's urging, he caves and gives it up. Isn't that illegal? He doesn't even remove the magazine. The abbot leaves, but when Jim puts in headphones while Blair is trying to talk to him, he returns to confiscate the Walkman. Jim looks absolutely violated as he's denuded of his headphones. "Maybe he's a Sentinel monk," Blair chuckles.
Blair shows up at the woodshop of one Brother Marcus (played by Brandon Maggart, Garett's dad).
MARCUS: I remember you. The young man who promised to write to allow me to vicariously enjoy his exploits in the real world.
BLAIR (sheepishly): Time... gets by you sometimes.
MARCUS: Well, I forgive you. But then...
MARCUS AND BLAIR: [You/I] have to!! (They laugh like it's the greatest joke in the world and hug.)
So we reconcile time in a monastery with Blair's backstory how?
Dinner. The abbot sits at one end of the table, and Jim at the other. Jim just sits, stiff and awkward, when the monks cross themselves; Blair gives a half-hearted one-handed non-cross. Everyone puts their hands together for grace, and Blair keeps Jim from putting his elbows on the table, even though some of the other guys are doing it. The abbot gives some thanks and then asks Jim to "complete the benediction." Jim hems and haws, but Blair nods, encouraging Jim to do it, so he does. "...Thank you, Lord... for all that you do... (long pause) For the great chili... Amen." The others cross themselves again, and Blair slaps Jim on the arm affectionately, which for him comes to much the same thing. (Did I just liken Jim to Blair's messiah? Oh... well... I guess that's apt.)
Jim, Blair, and four monks play basketball. There's some cute byplay as Blair reaches for the ball and Jim pushes him away. "You better be careful or people might think you're having a good time!" "Yeah, yeah, it's not so bad for one night..." One of the monks goes to ring the bells, and the others explain (off Jim's "Quiet guy") that he's taken a vow of silence (so natch he'll be a witness to a crime presently). Blair gives Jim the most exasperated look when he says "You guys actually do that?" Jim snatches the ball away from where Blair's spinning it on his finger and tosses it off to a monk, telling him to show his jump shot, and when the monk totally misses, Jim says to Blair, "Okay, he's on your team." I love seeing the guys just hang out and have fun together.
Just kiss already.
More basketball as the silent guy rings the bells (which weirdly doesn't bother Jim). When he's done he falls down the stairs like a sack of potatoes. Everyone outside runs in to him, and Jim checks his pulse. "He's dead." Wait. What? What? The vow of silence guy was the victim? And he was killed about two seconds after being introduced? So the vow of silence comes into play in the plot in exactly zero ways? Despite it being the title of the episode? Is that--am I missing something?
Night. Abbot's office. Jim suspects foul play and wants to open an investigation; Blair thinks he's being cynical, but stands up for Jim's right to call the cops when the abbot objects: "A man has died. We're at least obligated to report it." But the phone is dead. Jim asks for his cell phone and gun back, but when the abbot unlocks his drawer, they're gone.
Jim and Blair check out the body and then the stairs where the victim fell. Jim notices a small hole on each side of the step and figures there was a tripwire. So why didn't he trip coming up? No, seriously. I want to know. The best part about this scene is Jim and Blair crowding together in the staircase.
I see. Go on, Detective. No, nobody's pinching your ass.
Jim and Blair confront the abbot. Jim confirms that the death was murder, saying the trap had to have been set between the dinner bell and vespers bell. (Actually, it had to have been set between when the victim went upstairs and when he came down, but--okay, okay, letting go of it.) There was nobody on campus then but monks (well--and Jim and Blair). The abbot doesn't want to believe that it's one of his monks. He gets defensive, accusing Jim of thinking the order is anachronistic and useless. Jim's just like, whatever, let me investigate my murder. Blair's all, can't we all just get along?
The monks assemble in the dining hall and Jim announces that they're all going into town for their own safety. "Blair is warming up the bus, so any moment we can..." Just then Blair runs in and announced, "All four tires on the bus have been slashed." Blair grabs Jim by the coat and pulls him close, and they whisper and confer while the monks all stare.
Seriously. Already.
They decide to ask for a volunteer to walk into town, figuring the person most likely to want to get away will be the murderer. All of the monks raise their hands, because they are selfless, and Spartacus, and maybe don't want to get murdered. The abbot recommends one monk for the job, so Jim sends him off to notify the authorities. The abbot instructs the others to lock themselves up in their cells for the night.
Next morning, Jim comes up to Bespectacled Monk and Handsome Monk while they're gardening and starts askign questions, but the monks snub him. But then a bell rings and Handsome Monk runs after him, explaining they were just in a two-hour period of silence, but it's over now. So, second time a vow of silence could have been important but within two seconds is rendered moot. Handsome Monk responds readily but informationlessly to Jim's questions about the victim's background, saying the monks don't really talk about their old lives, so he doesn't really know. Through the conversation, Bespectacled Monk gives them Shifty Glances(TM).
Hands inject a lightbulb with something in a syringe. A monk makes Jim's bed, and finds his phone and gun under the pillow.
Blair walks in a green, green meadow with Marcus. Marcus talks about the victim (he admired his fine eyes, apparently) and the life here generally. He pats Blair on the shoulder paternally and walks off as Jim comes up. "I could never do what these guys do," Blair confides to Jim. "The sacrifice, the commitment..." I think Blair is pretty capable of making a commitment. A monk comes up and tells them the abbot wants to meet them in their cell.
Arriving at their cell, they find the place ransacked. As soon as they walk in, the abbot and another monk lock them in. The abbot shows the phone and gun, which admittedly does make Jim look pretty guilty. That and the fact that the monastery was murder-free until he showed up. Some bossy cynical cop from the city with only flighty ex-whatever-he-was-to-them Blair to vouch for him? I'd suspect him, too. Although he does lack a motive.
Locking them into a room together: not really a big punishment. Also, can I watch that episode?
The abbot leaves and Jim and Blair yell at the other monk to unlock them, but he says he has some new evidence for them and he'll just go to his room to get it. As he walks away, Jim smells kerosene, and sees that the lightbulb in the monk's room is filled with liquid. He yells even more vehemently, trying to get the monk's attention, but it's useless. The monk's room explodes.
Jim and Blair investigate the explosion site. I guess they've been cleared of suspicion since another murder happened while they were locked up. Never mind that the murder was clearly a trap which had been set ahead of time, or that Jim seemed to have preternatural knowledge that it was going to happen! Jim finds a half-burned photo of Jackie Kozinsky, a gangster-turned-federal-witness who disappeared decades ago. Another man (in the missing half) has his arm around Kozinsky; Jim identifies the ring on the hand as the abbot's.
Jim and Blair confront the abbot in the chapel. Jim accuses him of providing refuge for a murderer. He surmises that the victim(s) found out that one of their fellow-monks was Kozinsky, so Kozinsky murdered them. The abbot denies and tells Jim to get out, and just as their getting into shouting (Blair winces), Marcus appears in the doorway and tells them to stop: "I'm Jackie Kozinsky." Blair looks betrayed. Marcus admits to being involved in shady stuff back in the day, but he insists he never murdered anyone. But the mob still wants Kozinsky dead, so maybe one of the other monks is a contract killer.
Coming outside, Jim asks the abbot about the most recent arrivals. Bespectacled Monk was a banker or something (of course), and Handsome Monk was a basketball player. But (gasp) he missed that shot! Why did he do that? Why does the plot hinge on this? Shot of Handsome Monk raking leaves evilly, and then he pulls a gun and says "Looks like you found your man, Detective!" Oh! That was-- abrupt.
Evillest. Leaf-raking. Ever.
Handsome Evil Nonmonk Contract Killer corralls Jim, Blair, and the brothers into the bell tower and threatens the abbot at gunpoint, demanding Jackie Kozinsky. Marcus steps forward. "I am Jackie Kozinsky." Just as HENCK is training his gun on Marcus/Jackie, another monk Spartacuses, "I am Jackie Kozinsky," and then all the monks follow suit. As Jim points out, HENCK doesn't have enough rounds to kill everyone, so he dashes out, locking the trapdoor behind him. Jim goes to the lookout and overhears HENCK on a cell with his coconspirators, scheming to set the tower on fire.
As HENCK surrounds the tower with kerosene, Jim hastily makes a climbing rope out of monk belts. He makes it down in time to knock out HENCK and grab the light match on the ground before it makes contact with a puddle of kerosene. The monks cheer!
Wrap-up? Jim is tying HENCK's arms with one of the belts. So is that it then? There's still ten minutes left in the episode, and I hope it is ALL JIM/BLAIR CAMERADERIE. In fact, I--oh. Bullets tear through robes. A carful of gangsters is driving up. Oh, fine. The monks run for cover; Jim and Blair dash in the front door and cower by a stained-glass window.
JIM: Let's split up.
BLAIR: What?
JIM: It's gonna be safer that way. Come on, just go.
ME: Shut up, Fred!
Jim accosts the abbot with big plans to rally the men to fight back, but the abbot informs him that they are commited to nonviolence. The abbot goes to where some of the monks are tending to Marcus/Jackie's bullet wound, and reaffirms his strong stand against violent retaliation.
Weird techno/chanting song pipes up. Contract killer with machine gun enters a cell. We see Blair round a corner behind him, hefting a walking stick.
Blair's sidekick lessons from Gabrielle: Tread softly and carry a big stick. And be a pretty, pretty girl.
Jim pokes his head outside, and the killer leans out the window to open fire on him. Blair pushes him out the window. I'd really like at least a Jim-to-Blair wave here, like, thanks for saving me, buddy!, but it is not to be. The monks pray.
HENCK creeps up to a door. Abruptly it opens in his face, knocking him down a short flight of stairs. He's unconscious. Jim emerges and bends over him, looking up when he hears a gun cock. Honcho killer. Blair runs out, and Honcho Killer turns to aim at him--no, that's even worse for Jim! But before either of them can do anything about it, the abbot comes up behind the honcho and knocks him out witha shovel. So much for sacred vows! (bats eyelashes winningly) Sorry, God!
Okay, now wrap-up. HENCK and honcho are led away, Jim and Blair finish up giving a statement to a country sheriff, and a body is wheeled out. Blair goes and draws back the sheet; it's Marcus/Jackie. "Got you, Kozinsky, you sonofabitch!" yells the honcho, and Blair begins to stride toward him. Jim has to grab him and hold him back. Blair struggles, his face contorting in pre-tears. "Let it go," says Jim, as the police car drives off with the criminals. Blair turns to the body, reaches out to touch his hair--and Marcus/Jackie wakes up! "No, I got you!" Wide-eyed, Blair turns to Jim, who shrugs, "It's a miracle!" Blair couldn't have been in on this plan? Come on.
Blair apologizes for thinking that Marcus/Jackie was a killer. "I wouldn't blame you if you never spoke to me again," says Marcus/Jackie. "Vow of silence? Me? It's not possible," says Blair, somehow conveying tender emotion in that little joke. Jim wanders off and thanks the monk who walked into town about a million years ago for finally bringing the authorities. Right, that. The abbot expresses guilt at having broken his vow of nonviolence. "Well, if it's any help to you, I forgive you," Jim smiles winningly. Yeah, I'm sure it's a big help that the gun-toting cop who doesn't even understand why a person might not want to be violent forgives him for being violent. Hey, Jim, last time you checked, were you God? I'm just curious. But the abbot smiles, "Thank you, Brother Jim."
30SwB(TM). Jim says, "Next time we go away for a little peace and quiet, I'm gonna choose the place." I love how it's just assumed that there will be a next time. Blair agrees, asking what Jim had in mind, and Jim says Vegas. "Sin City?" Blair grins, eyes wide, as he undoubtedly considers a future "vow"(!!) in the inevitable Elvis wedding that will finally make them partners for real. Jim and Blair walk off into the distance, smiling and laughing and bumping into each other. So ends season one.
Bottom Line: Not one of the spectacular classics by any means, but it had its cute moments. Actually, this is pretty exactly typical of an average episode of Sentinel, so I guess that's an appropriate note to end on.
Yes Jim. Smile at him. Soon my plan will be complete.
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The Roundup Senses Used: Sight (liquid-filled lightbulb); Smell (kerosene); Hearing (phone scheming); arguably more (observations he made while investigating the body and the crime scene might have required supersenses, but we didn't see any special effects to indicate one way or the other). Jim says "Blair": 2 (To the assembled monks: "Blair is warming up the bus, so any moment we can..."; to Blair, "Blair, check that door.") |
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SEASON ONE ROUNDUP SENSOBABBLE
ADVENTURE
BABES
RELATIONSHIP
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