A Small Selection of Due South Recaps For Your Delectation

Season 3
...Previous season
**** 3x1 Burning Down the House Fraser seems to be the only one who realizes Ray is... different. (He's K!)
***** 3x2 Eclipse Kowalski skips out on an IA investigation for a personal vengeance mission.
*** 3x3 I Coulda Been A Defendant Fraser and Kowalski protect an autistic bank robber turned witness.
***** 3x4 Strange Bedfellows While stalking his ex-wife, Kowalski foils a murder attempt on her new boyfriend, and becomes the couple's creepy bodyguard.
**** 3x5 Seeing Is Believing Welsh, Thatcher, and Kowalski all witness a murder, but can't agree who did it.
***** 3x12 Mountie on the Bounty (Part 1) Problems in their relationship cause both Fraser and Kowalski to consider transfers, but they agree to work one last case involving pirates and ghosts and going undercover on a coal boat.
**** 3x13 Mountie on the Bounty (Part 2) After almost drowning in a sinking ship, flying on jetpacks, navigating a submarine, and rappelling from a replica of the HMS Bounty to a fake ghost pirate ship, Fraser and Kowalski learn an important lesson about trust and partnership or something. There's kissing! Almost.

More resources: For most of these, I have used the excellent transcripts at realduesouth.net and trinityslash.com as a starting point for my more lengthy quotations. I've made my own caps, but further images can be found at the wonderful image gallery Cap it! Before I die of waitin'!, which also includes caps from other Paul Gross and Callum Keith Rennie roles. As of this writing, the complete run of Due South (including the Vecchio seasons) is available on Amazon for $20, so there is really no reason to read these recaps instead of just watching the show.

 

3x1 Burning Down the House

We open on an aerial shot of a forest, so we know we're not in Chicago anymore. A title card reads "Northwest Territories," and then another title card, as an afterthought, "Canada." THANKS FOR THE SPECIFICATION. We see a man running through the woods, and then we pan up a small gold spyglass to our fresh-faced young hero, Constable Benton Fraser, in all his beStetsoned glory. (Iconic credits shot.) "Go," he instructs Diefenbaker, and human and dog both begin to run. Fraser is wearing his Northwest Territories civvies, the stylish look of red plaid lumberjack jacket over a different plaid jacket.


Is the fact that Fraser has sexy stubble foreshadowing? For like a major theme of this season?

Extended chase, concluding with a ridiculously long jump off a cliff and directly into the suspect's small boat. (Fraser's feet go right through the boat and land on the rock floor of the river, acting as an anchor, just to remind us of this show's take on physics.) The suspect yells at Fraser to pick up his feet. Fraser warns, "I don't think you want me to do that," but after further yelling finally complies, "As you wish." The boat rushes toward a waterfall, and there's another million-foot drop. Dief climbs out of the water, and then Fraser's hat appears, bobbing on the top of the water. If you think this is a poignant fake-out that Fraser may be dead, you forget that he never loses his hat. The hat heads purposefully toward the shore, and then Fraser emerges from the water, still attached, and hauling the suspect along with him.

In a small wood-paneled office, a ranking Mountie yells at Fraser for pursuing a man over six days and seventeen kilometres of wilderness for the crime of littering. Classic Fraser! I've missed this show. Fraser explains that he was concerned about the "volume and content" of the littering, and proceeds to give an explanation so lengthy that the show time-fades it at intervals, with comical results (the explanation concludes with the otherwise unexplained, "...recommendation that you, sir, be bestowed with the title of honorary tribal elder.") The upshot is that the suspect really was dumping toxic chemicals and not, like, a Snickers wrapper, and I can't decided whether or not I'm disappointed, because while in general I like this show's serious moments more than its ridiculous excesses, the ridiculous excess of Fraser's lawful goodness is one of my favorite things in the world. Anyway, a Mountie in a climbing harness interrupts to tells Fraser he has a phone call.

Cut to Fraser in a climbing harness, attached to a telephone pole. It's his friend and ours, Ray Vecchio, calling from Chicago. He asks Fraser how his vacation is going, and Fraser, smiling and happy, waxes enthusiastic about the fresh air and exercise.


It's a good look on him.

Ray tells Fraser he may not be there at the station to pick him up when he gets back. "It's not because I don't wanna be, it's just because something came up." Fraser asks if something is wrong. Ray gets annoyed, "Here in America, we got a little thing called friendship," and friends just call each other if their plans change, okay? This is clearly bravado, as sad piano music is playing, and Ray is getting kind of choked up on the phone. He even goes so far as to say, tenderly, "It's good to hear your voice," before snapping out of the sappiness and promising that he will be in touch.

"As a friend?" says Fraser. AS OPPOSED TO WHAT, FRASER?

"Yeah, Bennie," says Ray. "As a friend."


THE BREAKUP!

Sad music continues as Welsh watches Ray walk out of the darkened office with a suitcase.

If we needed confirmation that it's going to be a whole new era for Due South, we get it in the new credits; David Marciano is out, and Paul Gross's new co-star is Callum Keith Rennie. Also, Inspector Thatcher has short hair.

Fraser's back in Chicago in full dress uniform with his rucksack on his back. Echoes of the pilot, except that he has a specific destination now--except that when he gets to his apartment building, it's nothing but a burned-out shell! He examines the ashes and finds a broken perfume bottle, which he wraps in a handkerchief.

The ghost of Fraser's father appears and tells him that his home once burned down, and he and Fraser's mother had to spend four months in an igloo, which is where Fraser was conceived. In conclusion, says the ghost, Fraser shouldn't be too upset about the fire, because "something good may come of it." So... Fraser's going to get a lot of sex out this? I rub my hands together and wait for Callum's first appearance.

Fraser arrives at the police station and asks around for Detective Vecchio. Everyone keeps saying, "You mean Ray?", adding to a growing sense of weirdness. Along the way, Fraser hands out some bad gifts from the Territories, like a whalebone shadow triangulator for Detective Huey, and some kind of unidentifiable fabric band decorated with teeth and beads for Elaine. "I don't know what to say," she says. "You don't have to say anything," says Fraser. "Just enjoy it." Ha. Finally Fraser finds Welsh, who responds to his Ray query with, "We need to talk." But before he can get into the Talk, he's called away to meet with someone from the IRS. Fraser completes his loop around the station and ends up back at Ray's desk. Ray's standing behind it, his back to Fraser, looking in a filing cabinet.

"Ray!" says Fraser.

The man at the filing cabinet turns around and it's not Ray Vecchio at all. It's a cute skinny blond guy with pointy, gelled-up hair and a pointy, grinning face. "Fraser! Buddy!" Cute Blond walks right up to Fraser and gives him a hug.


Who are you?

Fraser's jaw drops, and he follows dumbfounded as Blondie walks around the bullpen, putting down files, picking them up, etc., chattering on, "You have a good time in the Northwest Areas? Wilderness, huh? Me personally, I leave the city, I come down with a skin condition." As they walk around the station, it's clear that this man knows everyone (he casually invites various girls to a "great first date" at the Crystal Ballroom), and furhter, that everyone knows this man as Ray Vecchio. (Henceforth, I will, too. "Ray" he shall be. For he is Ray. Nothing against the eminently likeable Vecchio, but this Ray is my Ray.)

Fraser thinks there's a misunderstanding.

FRASER: I'm looking for Ray Vecchio. Raymond Vecchio. The detective.
RAY: You talked to Welsh, right?
FRASER: Yes...
RAY: Then we're on the right track. I'm glad you're back, Fraser, because things have not been the same around here.
FRASER: Obviously.
Ray launches into a speech: "Take a look back through history, what do you see? What you see, over and over, is this: duets. Okay?... Think about it. Lennon and McCartney. Leopold and Loeb. The Three Stooges. Technically speaking, they were a trio, but in my opinion they should have dropped Larry right from the start, cause you could see the guy, he just was not committed to it. Anyway, I think you know what I'm talking about." Fraser hasn't the faintest idea. "Partners, Fraser," says Ray. "Partners." Yessss.


Here we go.

Fraser insists he and this man have never met, and he launches into his own speech. Everybody!

"I am Constable Benton Fraser of the Royal Canadian Mounted Police. I first came to Chicago on the trail of the killers of my father, and for reasons that, well, they don't need exploring at this juncture, I have remained, attached as liaison to the Canadian Consulate. And over my time here, I have attached what you would called a 'duet' with a person that I am currently looking for, one Raymond Vecchio, Detective First Grade, Chicago Police Department."
Ray pulls out his badge and ID, which indeed pictures his face: "Raymond Vecchio. Detective First Grade. Chicago Police Department." The phone rings and he picks it up, saying, "Ray Vecchio." He winks at Fraser.


!

The phone's for Fraser. The man on the other end, speaking in a growly voice, suggests that now that Fraser's apartment is burned down, he should move in with his friend Vecchio. YES PLEASE DO. Okay, it's a little soon, but Jim and Blair did it in episode four, and Fraser's arguably known this guy two years! The growly voice continues, informing Fraser that the electric blanket in Vecchio's house is getting "nice and toasty." Fraser puts the phone down and says, "I have no idea who you are, but if you insist on maintaining the charade of being Ray Vecchio, it may be of interest for you to know that I have reason to believe your house is about to burn down."

They rush to the parking lot. Ray's car is, of course, Ray's old car, a distinctive 1970s green something something (I am not so good with cars). As they drive, Dief enthusiastically licks Ray's face and neck, liking him already. Ray is freaked: "He's doing disgusting things to my ear! Get him off me!" Fraser explains with dry passive aggression that, as Ray of course knows, Dief is deaf, so he should enunciate clearly. "GET OFF ME EXCLAMATION MARK," says Ray. Ha!


So like Diefenbaker represents Fraser's inner animal desires right? I mean, or it's also possible Ray's face is covered in delicious meat sauce.

Fraser feels further vindicated when Ray takes a different than usual route to his house.

RAY: Routine is the silent killer. FRASER: I thought that was high blood pressure. RAY: Nah, they changed that. FRASER: When? RAY: You were on vacation.
The banter, it just clicks!

Smoke is billowing out of the windows when they arrive. Fraser wants to rush in, Ray wants to stay in the car and wait for the fire department. Fraser snits that Vecchio wouldn't have waited, and rushes in. Upstairs, he finds Francesca and some man (who turns out to be Frannie and Ray Vecchio's brother-in-law), and he pushes them out the window onto the roof, forgetting that normal people don't, like, just jump off things. Ray, reluctantly out of the car, helps them from the ground. The fire department has arrived by the time Fraser finally emerges from the front door, bearing a tank of goldfish. "You went in for fish?" cries Ray. "Not exclusively," says Fraser.

Fraser walks around the house, sniffing things, and appears to be about to lick an electrical socket before Ray stops him ("Word of advice. Your tongue. Electricity. Not a good mix.") Frannie and the brother-in-law don't have any useful informtion. Fraser asks Frannie if she "knows this man," indicating Ray, and Frannie says, "Of course I do. Doesn't he know--?" Ray cuts her off, telling Fraser they've got to get back to the station. Frannie detains Fraser a moment longer, saying, "I know what you know. I mean, what you know, and what everyone else knows, I know. You know?" Fraser doesn't know. Ray calls out to Fraser to come to the car, "before I die of waiting."


If waiting is something he's worried about dying of, he might not want to enter into a relationship with Fraser.

Dief has eaten the goldfish. Wah-wahh!

Back in the car, Fraser suggests ever-so-innocently that the best way to find this arsonist who seems to have it in for both of them might to go back over their past history. Ray says he can do that. He mentions some cases that Fraser and the original Ray worked, and Fraser shoots each one down for being irrelevant. Also, he measures Ray's nose.

Back at the station, Ray keeps mentioning cases, until one reminds Fraser of the perfume clue. Ray remembers a past arsonist who used perfume as a, "what the hell's the name of that stuff that gets the fire going," "The accelerant," Fraser provides. Ray's all grinning and proud of himself for cracking it! Fraser smiles back, perfunctorily, and says, "Give me five," but when Ray does, it turns out Fraser has palmed and ink pad. "Terribly sorry," he apologizes, and courteously wipes Ray's fingers by pressing them firmly against a sheet of paper. He tells Ray that's just "a little thing we do... one of our little things." Ray smiles, unconvinced. "We have a lot of fun, don't we, you and I?" Oh you just wait.

The original arsonist from the past case is in a mental institution, but Ray thinks they should question him anyway, on a hunch ("You have hunches?" "Well, that's pretty much all I ever have. You know that, Fraser.") When they arrive at the asylum, Ray instructs Fraser, "You do the legwork, I'll hang in the background." Fraser observes that if he (Ray) is not the real Vecchio, the arsonist will know that. Ray denies that that's his worry; he just thinks he and Fraser work best this way: "We're a one-two punch. You set 'em up, I knock 'em down. You set 'em up, I knock 'em down."

Fraser politely questions the arsonist while Ray leans in a shadowy corner. Midway through the arsonist's crazy rant on how to simplify the world by reducing it to ashes, Ray decides they're not getting anything, and he emerges to deliver some hard facts. Apparently, the arsonist has made one phone call today, to Ray Vecchio's line: "My line. I picked up the phone." He's also had one visitor; Ray demands the visitor's name. Confused, the arsonist looks to Fraser. Ray yells, "Look at me! Look in my eyes! I'm the guy that put you in here!"

The arsonist, clearly intimidated, doesn't contradict him. Ray threatens to break his jaw. The arsonist asks for a lawyer. Fraser assures him that Ray is just posturing. "I have nothing to say," says the arsonist. Ray throws his arms out, saying, "Gentlemen!" An unconventional word choice (I'm not entirely sure what it's all about), but his unpredictability is part of what's truly intimidating about him. He takes off his jacket and hands it to Fraser, counting down from five slowly. Fraser says, "I'm sure it's a posture," but then adds, "But I could be wrong," because, of course, he doesn't really know this guy. Ray gets down to one, whirls around, and lets his fist fly toward the arsonist. The arsonist cries, "Stop!" Ray's fist freezes in front of his face.


This is not the Ray you're used to.

The arsonist reveals the name of his visitor, which is--consistent with this show's level of absurdity--actually and legally Greta Garbo. He provides an address. As they walk out, Fraser asks Ray, "It was just a posture, wasn't it?" "Sure, a posture," says Ray, unconvincingly.

At Garbo's apartment, Fraser finds her store of the perfume accelerant, and Ray picks up a pamphlet called "How to Become A Canadian Citizen."


But, Ray... this is so sudden...

In context, this seems to be evidence that Garbo is about to flee the country--or perhaps that she's chosen her next target. Fraser and Ray rush to the Consulate.

Some customary surreal comedy at the consulate with Turnbull and Thatcher which I'll pass over since this is getting long enough. Fraser sets Diefenbaker after for the perfume, but he only locates Thatcher's interior designer, who is wearing cologne. Fraser apologizes and offers some offhand interior design advice, because he knows everything. Outside the consulate, Ray identifies a van which he has seen over and over all day: at his house, at the asylum. The van drives off, and Ray and Fraser take off after it.

Ray is pleased that they are now chasing the chaser, instead of the other way around. Fraser points out that the van could still be watching them--Garbo would only need to look in her rearview mirror to see them go up in flames. Ray wants to stop and get out, but Fraser insists they have to keep going, as they are still in pursuit of a lawbreaker. He begins crawling all over the car looking for the igniter. As Fraser climbs in the backseat, out through the window, onto the roof of the car, onto the hood, etc., Ray admits that he really isn't the Ray Fraser thinks he is. The wind and traffic blocks out his voice at key points, but we hear him say something about how he was offered a job, and he thought, hey, his life wasn't going so well, and they said he'd be working with this guy, and... Fraser climbs back into the car, having missed the whole story.

They go into a tunnel and there's traffic. As soon as Ray goes to hit the horn, Fraser cries, "No!" but he's too late. Smoke billows in from under the dash. Fraser grabs Ray's leg to stop him from braking. Ray: "Do not touch my inner thigh or calf!"


Famous last words.

Fraser famous-last-wordses, too, that cars rarely actually explode--just before there's an explosion from under the hood. The guys are now driving around in a car that's actually on fire. Comedic banter with Fraser shooting down each of Ray's ideas for where to deposit the car, since there might be pedestrians, children, family pets, etc., and making Ray stop at stoplights. Ray's bright idea is to go through a car wash, but it doesn't help. Fraser tells him to drive into Lake Michigan.

"In case something happens, I just want you to know it's been a pleasure meeting you," says Ray. "It's been weird but it's been a pleasure." Fraser, genuinely: "Likewise."


Likewise.

They drive the flaming car into the lake. Garbo gets out of her van at the water's edge and looks at the ash floating on the water. Then Diefenbaker hops onto the dock. Fraser's hat is tossed up. Garbo, looking afraid, heads back to the van. Fraser climbs out of the water, helping Ray haul himself onto the dock. As they're getting ot their feet, we see the barrel of a gun. Garbo hasn't run away--she just went for a weapon. Ray steps in front of Fraser, taking the bullet for him. He falls to the ground, a bullet hole in the chest of his raincoat. Fraser disarms Garbo and wrests her to the ground, binding her wrists with that non-handcuff bindy stuff, then turns back to Ray. He kneels beside him and puts his hand on Ray's face. "Ray. Ray. Ray!"


Mouth to mouuuuuuuth...

Ray opens his eyes and grins, pulling up his shirt to reveal his Kevlar. He's all extra excited: "You called me Ray!" Fraser insists he didn't (but of course, he did). "You know I'm Ray. Don't fight it, Benton buddy," says Ray, tellingly not calling Fraser "Bennie." (Calling him "Benton" doesn't even stick. He will call him "Fraser" on almost every other occasion, ever.)

Police department. Fraser, wearing his city civvies now (leather jacket over plaid shirt), presents Welsh with the evidence that Ray is not Ray: fingerprints, nose measurement, shoe size, a cast he made of Ray's teeth somehow. Welsh says well of course this guy isn't Ray Vecchio.

I've been trying to get to you to talk to you about this. There's an operation going on. This operation comes from way up the ladder. Details are kinda sketchy, but all we need to know is Ray Vecchio has gone deep under cover with the mob. Now, to protect his identity, we have to make believe that this guy is Ray Vecchio.
Shhh. Don't fight it. Just enjoy it. Fraser asks if Welsh has heard from the real Vecchio, and Welsh says he doesn't expect to. He concludes, "Listen, Constable, I want you to give this guy a fair shot. He's a real good cop."

Out in the bullpen, Ray passes along postcard that arrived at his desk addressed to Fraser. It simply reads, "COLD OUT HERE. HEAT ME UP." "What do you make of it?" says Ray. "It's a message," says Fraser, which, yeah. I mean, I think he could tell that much. He's a real good cop. Fraser holds a flame behind the postcard and the image of a placid white mountain fades to a photograph of him with the old Ray Vecchio.

"Something I should worry about?" says Ray, timing it perfectly with the moment Fraser and old Ray's close-together heads come into view. Tender friendship piano plays as Fraser says no, "everything is actually fine." Ray heads back to his desk, Fraser says, "Hey, Ray." Ray looks up, looking extra skinny-armed and pointy-faced in the noirish chiarascuro. After a pregnant pause, Fraser asks, "Would you... Would you like to go and get something to eat with me?" Ray grins adorably.


THE FIRST DATE!

Bottom Line: The plot is very simple to make room for friendship building and goofy hijinks, and that's how I like it. You can see the humor getting weirder in this season than in previous seasons, which I actually find a little annoying--there's something to be said for the relative straightforwardness of the adventure in seasons 1 and 2--but in this episode, it works. It's a fun twist on the "same character, new actor" TV trope, and it's amusing that they didn't feel the need to hire an actor who looked anything like David Marciano. It's funnier that way (and, yes, Callum Keith Rennie is super super cute.) The background of the old Fraser/Ray relationship provides a launch point for the new partnership, but right from the beginning, you can tell the new Ray is not the old Ray. Even in this episode, which is mostly about Fraser's reaction to him rather than him, himself, you can see hints of ways he's messed-up and troubled in a way the old Ray isn't: his possible violent tendencies, the mention of his life being so terrible that he was willing to escape it.

Generally, I just love how Fraser, in spite of his weirded-out-ness and in spite of his loyalty to the old Ray, instantly and genuinely just likes the new Ray.

The Roundup:

 

3x2 Eclipse

Interal affairs guys arrive at the station. They want to talk to Ray Vecchio.

Cut to Ray (new Ray, of course) in his apartment, all skinny-muscley-wiry in a black wifebeater, dropping candy in his coffee as a sweetener. (The name on the box is blocked out, but these are very obviously Canadian Smarties. Souvenir from Fraser? We never actually saw what he brought back from NWT for Vecchio.) A song plays which we will come in this episode to know as Ray's Theme. It goes "Ba-bada-baaaaaa, ba-bada-baaaaaaaa. Whoooooooa, what a feelin.'"


Name nine essential pieces of RayK mythos visible in this screencap.

Why does Ray have delicate china mugs neatly hung up on little hooks? And pink curtains? This is so not a bachelor pad. (And it's not a Vecchio residence, either--it becomes clear later it's this Ray's place, not Vecchio's. Maybe he hasn't redecorated since the can I spoil you about the divorce?) Welsh's voice pipes in over the answer machine, demanding that he come in. Ray flips his gun and delivers a truly sinister smile.


Be afraid.

He packs a duffel with surveillance gear and heads out of the apartment. We see something's circled in the paper as we fade to credits.

Fraser walks down the hall of the police department, bearing a cabbage and a bag of water with a trout swimming in it. Welsh exposits that a criminal has accused the station of being dirty, specifically Ray Vecchio. But Ray never came into work, so Welsh wants Fraser to find him. Fraser asks, "Which one?"

Pulling him into a closet, Welsh tells Fraser that it'll have to be the new Ray, since blowing the old Ray's cover could get him killed. Luckily, the IA guys have never seen Ray. They'll just have to "bluff it out."


In the closet.

Out in the hall, Fraser explans to Elaine that the cabbage and fish are to throw Ray a birthday party. It's not the new Ray's birthday, but the old Ray always had a party, so he thinks this will help with the cover. He's planned a "traditional Yukon" party, and explains the trout is for bobbing, since "apples are not plentiful in the Yukon," though he admits that it's not a traditional Yukon game: "The natives prefer something called Twister." Hi, everyone! This is Due South all right.

Cemetery, day. Ray, looking radiant in the sunshine, bribes a groundskeeper to let him into a crypt using a bottle of single-malt scotch he had the foresight to bring along.


A little over-made-up, but radiant nonetheless.

Ray's landlady lets Fraser into his apartment. She explains she usually gets to know her tenants, but Ray is secretive; the only thing she knows is he's always "clomping." Dief finds dance steps painted onto the floor under the rug. The landlady likes the rhythmic clomping and says, "I can get hypnotized and just sit there for an hour, easy." Fraser gives her a nod of understanding. Probably because he sometimes gets losts in Ray's eyes.

Ray creeps through a dark crypt with his gun drawn. He just manages to identify Fraser in time to stop himself from shooting. Fraser explains he found Ray because he'd circled an obituary in the paper. Ray's upset Fraser snooped in his apartment and tracked him down. Fraser says he did it for two reasons: "First, I brought you a present!" He explains about the birthday. Ray's more annoyed: "Let's just drop that, okay, Fraser? You and I both know I'm not Ray Vecchio." Fraser, cautiously: "You're not?

RAY: Look, I'm not Ray. I mean, I am Ray, but I'm not Ray Vecchio. I'm Kowalski. Stanley Raymond Kowalski. FRASER: Your name is Stanley Kowalski? RAY: Look, my Dad had a thing for Brando. Me, it was always Steve McQueen. So, I go by Ray. FRASER: Well, it's a pleasure to meet you, Ray Kowalski.

In the last episode alone Fraser dealt with a Margaret Thatcher and a Greta Garbo, so I'm not sure why he's surprised. They shake hands.

Elaine is questioned. Rah rah IA guys being jerks. We find out they think Ray Vecchio stole some heroin.

Fraser urges Ray to go to the station because "people are counting on you." Ray has no interest in taking the heat for another man's alleged charges.

RAY: Look, Fraser, I've humped this job for a long time. Bad hours, bad food and bad guys. And for what? FRASER: For the pride and honour of knowing that we make it possible for good people to tuck their kids in at night, turn out the lights and know they'll be safe. RAY: You gotta be kidding me. FRASER: No, I'm not. RAY: You believe all that? FRASER: Yes, I do.

Ray says Fraser's lucky: "I never wanted to be a cop in the first place. I wanted to be something else." The conversation is sidetracked by Dief running outside to put flowers on a grave ("in his youth, Diefenbaker did display a keen interest in horticulture"), so we never actually find out what that something else is. I mean, the obvious guess from our evidence so far is "dancer," but I'm not so sure. As we'll find out later this episode, the turning point that made Ray head for law enforcement happened when he was thirteen; how much dancing can he have done by then? What do you even want to be when you're thirteen? Astronaut? Ninja? Cop seems as good as anything else.

Sorry for all the lengthy quoting, but it's just one iconic Ray and Fraser partnership setup moment after another here in the Crypt of Friendship.

RAY: You know, Fraser, when they offered me this assignment, they made it sound kind of normal. They say, "Hey, Ray, here's a chance to start over. Ditch the past." "What's the catch?" I say. "Oh, your partner's Canadian." Canadian? I got nothing against Canadians, except for the time when they won the World Series. FRASER: Two times. RAY: Which I'm willing to overlook. FRASER: Thank you. RAY (putting on a pair of ugly glasses that somehow make him EVEN MORE CUTE): But at no time did they say, "Oh, by the way, you'll be working with a Mountie who's got a wolf that's a florist." Hold these. (hands Fraser the glasses)

Fraser asks if he's found the guy they're after. "Nah, just something's queer," says Ray. Oh it will be. It will be.

Outside, two guys are loading a coffin into a truck. Pretending to weep, Ray runs at the coffin, insisting he wants to see his mom again one last time.


Ray's go-to move: clasp a random guy in a tight hug.

He lifts the lid and finds boxes of cigars. The two guys pull a gun on him. Fraser tries to come to his rescue, but is quickly forced to admit to the surprise of both the criminals and Ray that he doesn't carry a gun. "Obviously, you weren't fully briefed," Fraser tells Ray as they run for their lives.

While they're running from one gravestone to another for cover, Ray alternately shooting wildly and reloading, Fraser presents Ray with his birthday present, a dreamcatcher Fraser made himself. He explains the long drawn-out process needed to legally acquire the decorative eagle feathers. (He must have been planning this present for RayV.)


For you!

Ray isn't really listening. He's trying to keep track of how many rounds he's shot. Fraser calls him a bad shot, since none of his seven rounds went anywhere near the target. Ray insists he's a good shot, he just needs his glasses, which he left in the crypt. Fraser presents them to him. He's been holding on them all this time. He didn't think it was "germaine." Ray doesn't know the word. He puts on his glasses and turns and fires two perfect shots which neatly disarm the smugglers.


See, they're ugly glasses, but... I don't know! It works!

Ray stalks up and cuffs the smugglers, trying to read them their right while Fraser simultaneously sternly tells Ray he needs to take them to the station for processing. Ray still refuses to go in. (His glasses, by the way, are hanging off his ear this whole scene. How do they not fall off his face?) In the next scene, we see he's locked the criminals in makeshift crypt jail of the kind used to contain Bad Angel and Wolf Oz on Buffy.

The smugglers provide a peanut gallery as Ray explains that he's here because he expect a bank robber to show up for his mother's burial. He's been chasing this robber, Marcus Ellery, his whole career. Ellery robbed a bank right in Ray's neighborhood when he was a kid, and he's never been caught. One of the smugglers remarks that the statute of limitations has run out by now. Ray: "Look, this is not official business, so shut up! It's personal." Fraser quotes Francis Bacon that "revenge is a wild kind of justice," and the tougher-looking smuggler likes that, and gets all interested in looking up Bacon's writing. Looking out the window, Ray cries, "Gun!"

Fraser runs outside and tackles an old lady who had been shooting into a grave. She doesn't mind; like every woman on this show, she is comically attracted to Fraser. She explains that her husband's will stipulates that she shoot around him every once in awhile because he believes lead keeps away insects. "I understand," says Fraser. "You understand?!" says Ray. Fraser says they'll still need to see her gun license. So, this is just the "various hijinks in a graveyard" episode, I guess.

Okay, I'm just... I'll just transcribe this scene. Mind you, there is no lead-up to this. It just cuts right from the police station and Welsh and Elaine worrying about the probe, back to the crypt, and:

RAY (looking from the window, glasses hanging from his ear): Can I ask you something? Do you find me attractive?
FRASER: W--
SKINNY CIGAR SMUGGLER: I wouldn't say attractive.
TOUGH CIGAR SMUGGLER: No. Cute, maybe.
OLD LADY (enthusiastically): But I'd say well-favored.
RAY (annoyed): Did I ask you?
SKINNY CIGAR SMUGGLER: Sorry. I thought you were asking all of us.
RAY: Well, I wasn't, so zip. (to Fraser) Well? Do you find me attractive?
FRASER: In what sense?
RAY: In the sense of, you know... being a woman.
FRASER: Do I think you're an attractive woman?
RAY: No. No. I'm not the woman. You're the woman.
FRASER: I'm the woman.
OLD LADY: No, I'm a woman!
RAY: Shut up.
TOUGH CIGAR SMUGGLER: Well, she is!
RAY: I know she's a woman, I'm asking Fraser to pretend that he's a woman.
OLD LADY: Oh. (possibly a little turned on) Can you do that, dear?
FRASER: Well, I have done that, yes.
RAY: (inscrutable reaction shot)
SKINNY CIGAR SMUGGLER: So have I. It was rather fun.
TOUGH CIGAR SMUGGLER: Heh.
RAY: Look. You three zip. And you, you pretend you're a woman, okay?
FRASER: (nod of "understood")
RAY (vulnerably): Do you find me attractive?
FRASER: Very much so, yes.
This, this, this is why people fic this show. I--"Very much so, yes." I--Yeah.


"Very much so, yes"


Right answer!

"You're not just saying that?" Ray asks. Fraser pauses longer, this time, and then admits claims, "Well, I'm not really qualified to judge, Ray." Ray chuckles, saying that sounds like something his wife would say. It does? That she's "not qualified to judge" whether or not Ray is attractive? That's... odd.

"I didn't realize you were married," says Fraser, dare I say guardedly.

Ray shrugs. "I was, not anymore." His wife worked in the state's attorney's office, and between the two long-hours careers it didn't work out. Skinny Cigar Smuggler recognizes Ray's false "hey, it's no big deal" tone of voice and Tough Cigar Smuggler adds that SCS was "a broken window" when his wife left him, "glass everywhere," and puts his arm around him.

A bizarre group conversation follows which, in a few mostly-non-sequitur lines, covers the topics of loneliness, metaphysics, the eclipse, and the border between life and death. Somehow, it concludes with Ray deciding you "can't go forward until you go backward":

"I tried to run away from my past, but you can't do it, cause it's in your skin, it stays with you. You gotta retrace your steps to figure out how you got here. I took this bus, I drove this car, I got on this train, I walked down this street, I turned this corner, I opened this door, and I stepped into a bank."

Flashback! Ba-bada-baaaaaa, ba-bada-baaaaa. We see the inside of a bank through a blue filter. Ray walks in and narrates,

"I was thirteen and she was a Gold Coast girl. Private school. She was untouchable, but I was working it. I was lying like a maniac. I was John Lennon, James Bond, Joe Namath, all rolled into one."


This flashback will be narrated by blue!fishbowl!Ray.

We see Kid!Ray, in similar glasses, standing at the counter with a pretty girl. What are they doing at the bank? How much money do they have at thirteen? Are you even allowed to do banking at thirteen? And Ray couldn't have been driving a car, could he? Was the "I drove this car, I got on this train" line metaphorical, and if so, huh? I mean, don't get me wrong, I sort of like Ray's almost kind of beat-poety way of talking during all of this, I just don't understand it.

Anyway, the girl draws Kid!Ray's attention to the line behind them. Automatically, Kid!Ray shouts, "Gun!" He has seen a lot of cop shows or somrthing? The robber fires into the air and yells at everyone to get down, except the girl, whom he takes hostage. Kid!Ray yells, "STELLAAAAAAAAAAAA!" Of course.


Kid!Ray

The robber kicks a bag over to Kid!Ray and tells him to fill it. Kid!Ray is frozen in place, and when he finally turns around, at the repeated instruction of the robber, there's a wet spot on the front of his pants. While the robber is yelling at the boy for peeing himself, Stella breaks free and runs.

Fraser sends the old lady and the smugglers away in some cop cars. I guess he called additional cops and didn't tell them Ray was there. He heads back into the crypt, where in a private conversation, Ray confides, "I lied."


Heartfelt conversation time!

"About Stella?" asks Fraser, using his "nonjudgmental" voice, either because he wants to encourage Ray to keep sharing, or because he's withholding his emotions until he finds out if it's more "I lied" like "I lied about being married" or more "I lied" like "I lied about being divorced."

"About Stella. To Stella." Stella assumed he peed himself on purpose to distract the robber and let her get away, and he never corrected her, just let her think he was a hero; "I was a con job then and I'm a con job now."

Fraser tells Ray, gently, "In my experience, very few lifelong partnerships are formed based on whether one partner or the other urinated in their clothing." He lists some heroic deeds Ray--this very Ray--has done in his past, including rushing into a warehouse to save a hostage even though he knew his cover was blown, and facing three murderers by himself--real either-he's-super-brave-or-has-a-death-wish stuff. "You're a good policeman," says Fraser, "and I would be proud to call you my partner. And my friend." Ray seems touched by this, and asks Fraser to lend him some money. Fraser says no. Somehow, this is the tenderest part of the conversation.

They walk outside. Ray inspects his dreamcatcher. "You think this thing would fly?" "It's not a Frisbee, Ray. It tangles up bad dreams." "But," says Ray, John Sheppardishly, "do you think it would fly?" "There's only one way to find out," says Fraser. Ray tosses the dreamcatcher, and the camera follows its spin as it heads toward a burly man standing at an open grave. The man catches the dreamcatcher. Ray sees him, and runs at him. It's Ellery.

Ray tackles Ellery into the grave. He's wearing his glasses, looking as much as possible like Kid!Ray, and he expects Ellery to remember him, but he doesn't; he did so many robberies that he doesn't remember what happened on any particular one. A solar eclipse darkens the sky, and Ray yells at Ellery, hating him for not remembering the day that meant so much to him. Ray's dreamed of meeting up with him again, arresting him, maybe even killing him, and now he can't even see his face. But Ellery already seems defeated. "You do what you've got to do, I just want to say goodbye to my mom," he says. Finally Ray just tells him he can go, and thanks him: "For making me what I am. A cop."

Fraser stumbles in the dark until the eclipse ends. Sunlight washes over Ray, alone in the grave.


Symbolism?

Ray seems perfectly happy, even cheerful. He lies that Ellery overpowered him and got away. Fraser helps him out of the grave and then comically falls in himself.

Station. Ray goes in and tells the IA guys that he doesn't want to be questioned based on the allegation of some guy who he's never even met; he wants his accuser to pick him out of a lineup. Of course, the guy can't. I don't know why everyone cheers when the guy fails to identify Ray, since obviously he wasn't going to be able to. I mean we know Ray Vecchio wasn't dirty, but this proves nothing.

Ray's fake birthday party. His theme plays softly on the radio. He tells Fraser he feels great, like, "the sky opened up or somethin'." Fraser tells Ray that the sky isn't just above us, it meets the ground at the horizon, so wherever you are, you're walking in sky. Ray: "You're a freak." Fraser: "Understood."


Ray even wears a party hat like a cool guy.

Bottom Line: This is one of my favorite episodes; really surreal but without being incoherent. I love the attractiveness conversation, and the teambuilding of weirdos in the crypt, and mostly, I love that this is such a total Ray character exploration and development episode right at the beginning of his tenure as partner, so we really get to know him quickly. So much of RayK's mythos is jammed in here--his impulsive, dangerous heroism; his personal insecurities; his love/hate relationship with policework; the beginning and the end of his relationship with Stella; the glasses; the dancing; the sugar addiction. All the quirks we know and love, right here in this one episode! (And some of them noplace else, I seem to recall, except fanfic. But still.)

The Roundup:

 

3x3 I Coulda Been a Defendant

Okay, now we're down to business: a standard case episode, the first one in which we'll really see Ray and Fraser's dynamic as partners when "introducing Ray!" is not the primary point of the episode. In fact, we open in what feels like a very normal day for Ray and Fraser: Ray's trying to get errands done, annoyed because Fraser keeps running off to do good deeds. When a little boy runs into the street, though, it's not Fraser who manages to save him from an oncoming car, but a mysterious man who doesn't stick around to be thanked. A nearby reporter wants to find him and honor him for being a hero. Fraser agrees this is a worthy cause and does his tracking thing, tasting the gum that the guy stepped in, much to Ray's disgust. Is this the first Ray-disgusted-by-Fraser-tasting moment? I mean he stopped Fraser from licking an electrical socket in his first episode, but that seemed more like a safety measure.

Fraser, Ray, and the reporter track down the hero at his apartment, where he's kicking back symbolically reading You Can't Go Home Again. As soon as Hero hears a knock on the door, he throws some things in a bag and escapes out his window. Fraser sees him running down the fire escape and follows, now seeming to chase him simply because he is running. Ridiculous physics-defying chase hijinks need not be described. Hero ends up rolling over the hood of a car while trying to run across a street and Fraser and Ray catch up to him, bending down to see if he's hurt. Ray sees a gun in his belt and cries "Gun!", drawing his own weapon. The hero protests weakly as Ray takes his gun and Mirandizes him (looking to Fraser to prompt him on the word "appointed", because he's so wacky! and bad at words! even though he must have done this a million times!) Credits.


Okay, maybe I mostly capped this shot because I want those boots.

Ray interrogates the hero about his weapon and the many IDs under different names which they found in his wallet. His intimidation tactics are successful--the guy's clearly frightened--but not effective--he doesn't offer any information, per se. He's very soft-spoken and keeps saying, plaintively, "You don't understand..." The only thing he's firm about is that he can't be on television. "This is America, everyone wants to be on television," Ray tells Fraser through the one-way glass, winking, in what might(?) be a meta moment. Fraser knocks on the glass. Ray picks up the phone just to tell him, "Fraser, can you not do that, kind of gives it away," and then excuses himself to join Fraser in the observation room. Ha.

Fraser tells Ray it's not working, although, "He's clearly frightened." "Course he's frightened. That's me. That's my thing," says Ray. "On the inside, I'm a poet. Outside? Mm! Shake, bad guys, shake." I love Ray a lot. Have I mentioned this? Fraser wants to talk to him. "Torture, I never thought of that," says Ray. "That's very funny, Ray," says Fraser, weeping on the inside.

Fraser is very gentle with the good Samaritan guy, whom I'm going to start calling "Bruce" because that is his name. He compliments Bruce's origami. Bruce rambles, and we can hear for the first time that his speech seems slightly disordered; he repeats himself, not just because he's afraid of Ray, but in general. But he uses very sophisticated vocabulary when talking about geometry. Rain man, check. Fraser's trying so hard to be approachable, he actually drops his titanium posture.


You'll never see him bent this low over a table again (note to self: add obligatory "unless you're Ray" type innuendo later!)

Bruce asks Fraser about his family, and Fraser says his parents are dead and he was an only child, but that he had a best friend in the village called Innusiq. Of coruse he did; Fraser pretty much requires a best friend to function, doesn't he? When one leaves he is required to have a replacement. Bruce seems very interested, repeatedly asking if Innusiq was like a brother to Fraser. Foreshadowing!

Welsh yells at Ray. "A guy saves a kid's life and to show our gratitude we go to his house, knock down his door, cuff him, drag him here, and grill the snot out of him?" He tells Ray to let him go.

Hallway. Elaine asks Ray and Fraser if they're coming to her police academy graduation. She introduces her Civilian Aid replacement: Francesca Vecchio! Ray protests; Frannie calls him "intimidated by my presence." (She seems uncharacteristically unaffected by Fraser's presence, but I suppose it can be inferred that she took this job largely to be in his orbit.) Frannie and Elaine walk off (Frannie asking, "So alphabetical order just means, the alphabet, right?"), Fraser says, "I don't understand. I thought you liked Francesca." Ray: "Of course I like her. That's why I'm doomed. I got to work with her in the same office every day and pretend like she's my sister?" (Although we don't see any other evidence that I'm aware of that he wants her later--they do act like brother and sister--so I guess he gets over it.) Fraser: "This makes no sense, Ray. All women are our sisters." Is that why he never wants to kiss any of them?

A guy from the justice department, Kevin Spender, arrives and instructs Ray to let the good Samaritan go: he's a protected federal witness. Ray brings Kevin to see Bruce, and immediately Bruce's face lights up. "I knew you'd come!" They hug. Ray and Fraser briefly watch them embrace through the one-way glass, but Fraser says, "They have a right to their privacy," probably hoping that anybody else would do him the same courtesy should they happen upon him getting cozy with another another man in the interrogation room.


Perchance. Peradventure.

Later, Kevin reveals to Welsh that he is (of course) Bruce's brother. So everything's square away, except that, unfortunately, the reporter has already run with the story, and Bruce's image is on national TV. Kevin yells at Ray, who yells back. Fraser tries to intervene. Kevin asks why a Mountie is involved anyway, prompting Fraser's "I first came to Chicago..." speech (which Ray helpfully assists by filling in, "And for a whole bunch of reasons he decided to stick around"), but it doesn't help. Kevin asks to "confer" with Welsh in private.

Out in the squad room, Ray takes issue with use of the word "confer" (seeming to feel it is too fancy-pants), adding, "That guy sucks!" Like children and dogs, Ray has an instinctive dislike of bad people. (Oh come on, you knew Kevin was going to turn out bad.) Almost voice-breakingly angry, Ray complains, "I hate when someone tells me to go to my room, not when I'm in the middle of something." Fraser talks him down as they walk out, and there's one of those odd Due South cuts, where it just sort of fades out their voices and the camera pans around the squad room and then they're coming out a door again. I don't really get those. Anyway, Elaine's joined them, and she helps Frannie use the computer to call up information on Bruce, her help mostly consisting of actually doing it for her standing over her. Frannie claps cutely when she gets the slightest thing right.


I love this family.

It turns out Bruce was in an armed robbery. He gave his brother evidence on the other three robbers in exchange for his own safety. But all three are now either escaped or out on parole. Kevin and Welsh join them, agreeing that Bruce is in trouble, so some of the CPD men will be needed to help protect him.

Of course they use the very same men who endangered him in the first place. In a parking garage with Bruce and Kevin, Ray coordinates the operation by radio: they're sending out decoy cars, then transfering Bruce to a new vehicle. Kevin throws his weight around, wanting to make the transfer right away. Ray protests, "There's no cover here," but Kevin says they won't need it. See? I told you he was bad. The transfer car arrives, but of course as soon as Kevin and Bruce begin to move over to it, Ray sees a laser pointer on Bruce's back, shouts, "Down!", and shots ring out, shattering the car windows. Ray's glasses have blue flip shades.


That is the important part of this episode.

Shootout. Ray and Kevin draw their handguns and exchange fruitless fire with masked snipers armed with semiautomatics. Kevin is separated from the group, but Ray shoves Bruce into the backseat of one of the cars and gets him away.

Welsh's office. Kevin wants Ray brought up on charges for kidnapping. He accuses the department of setting up the shootout. Welsh says he trusts his men, and he's sure they'll hear from them soon.

Ray's apartment. Fraser asks about the shootout ("How many assailants were there?" "Hard to tell, there were shooters everywhere. You know what that's like, [miming] you hunker") while they gather up sleeping bags and things. The camera moves pretty quickly, but we can see that some of Ray's cluttered apartment decor includes: a palm tree poster; a rolltop desk; a bicycle suspended on the wall; a cactus; an aquarium (doubtless the home of the famed turtle); a cheesy clock with a pink neon light around it. He seems to like being in semi-dark with lots of little lights. His kitchen bar is surrounded by fairy lights, and he's got a really high-tech glowing coffee maker.

While they pack, Bruce works on a 3-D puzzle. Ray asks Fraser sidelong if he thinks Bruce really could have been the mastermind--"the guy can barely tie his shoes"--and Bruce launches into a precise and businesslike description of the heist plan. He's a robbery savant!


Mommy and Daddy are so surprised.

Knock at the door; it's Francesca. They're expecting her. She gives some exposition--one of the robbers was just arrested for another crime, so that leaves the other two as the shooters. Fraser wonders who originally told the police about the robbers' hideout. Bruce insists he didn't do it. Ray notices "something queer" outside the window, and they decide to get moving, Ray pausing to look at the finished 3-D puzzle and say, "I could do that. I choose not to." Ha.

Bad guys enter the building, but Ray, Fraser, Bruce, and Frannie manage to get out. Fraser calls Elaine to ask for any more information, and she's found out that another of three bank robbers is dead, so that just leaves one. Next, Fraser calls Welsh to check in, telling him they'll take Bruce somewhere safe, but the fewer people who know about it, the better. Kevin yells at him, but Fraser just hangs up. In the car, Frannie pops up between Fraser and Ray (symbolism!) to ask about the "sleeping arrangements" at the safehouse. I too am curious. "Fairly rudimentary," says Fraser, slightly missing the point as always. "The place I'm considering has no heat." "Oh! So I guess I'll have to curl up to something... really warm... won't I?" Aaand Frannie's out; Ray's taking her home. Ha. He probably would have let her stick around if she'd have just waited to make a move on his man!

Fraser brings Bruce and Ray to an empty studio apartment furnished with a single folding chair ("It was Constable Turnbull's, but he decided he didn't need anything quite so fancy." "Oh, so where does he live now, cardboard box?" "Mm-hmm. Very nice one, though.") As they unpack their bedrolls, Fraser learns Bruce was in the Scouts, and he says he was too, although he and Innusiq were the only two boys in the village, so they also included Innusiq's sister. "She had very short hair, so..." "I got short hair," Ray pipes up, perhaps bored of not being in the conversation. Fraser: "We're lucky. We have a troop." Why does Ray have to be the girl? If anything, Fraser's hair is shorter. Fraser throws himself into his customary sleep position (flat on his back on the floor, arms crossed, still in uniform). Ray doesn't want to sleep on the floor. "I do this, I want a badge. A tuck in on the floor, I hurt my back badge." Fraser promises, "I'll get you one." Fraser never lies, so we can safely assume this happens at some point. And hopefully that he'll go on to Ray a whole line of contorted-into-uncomfortable-positions, hurt-my-back badges.

Early the next morning, Ray's phone's ringing, but he can't find his way out of his sleeping bag. It sort of hops and wriggles like a jumping bean. It's the way he sleeps, he tends to cocoon. Fraser comes to his rescue, only getting kicked a few times before Ray finds his way out. It's a dumb bit of physical comedy that works largely because of how very much I love (1) Ray's manic energy and (2) anything physical between the two of them.


He's not really a morning person.

Plot time! somebody's found the third bank robber. Ray heads out, leaving Fraser to look after Bruce.

Later, Ray calls back (Fraser answers his phone, "Detective Vecchio's cellular telephone, Constable Benton Fraser answering," to which Ray says, "Hello is enough, Fraser"). The third robber has an alibi--spent the whole night with a hooker--so now they're down to no suspects for shooting. Fraser talks to Bruce, and deduces from a story he tells about himself and Kevin as kids that Kevin once gave Bruce a coat hanger and told him it was a boomerang. Therefore, he is obviously a liar, through and through! Fraser gets Bruce to admit that, while the bank robbery was his plan, it was Kevin's idea.

Crossroads. Dramatic rainfall. Fraser, Ray, and Bruce meet up with Kevin, Welsh, and several other official-looking men. Welsh joins Fraser and Ray, and Bruce trots over to Kevin. They hug, Bruce starts in on asking about the boomerang, and Kevin starts in on telling Bruce he can't look after him anymore--he'll have to admit to the robbery. Bruce refuses to get in the car with him. Diefenbaker runs to Bruce's rescue. Bruce runs back to our heroes, and shots start flying--all of Kevin's apparent DOJ friends are actually henchmen, of course. Ray and Welsh fire back.

Everyone runs into the forest and there's a rain/mud/trees/forest shootout with lots of desperate yelling and wet!and!dirty!Ray! Fraser tells Ray, "We just have to get over this hill," which seems metaphorical until we find out the police academy graduation is taking place just on the other side of the hill. Just when things are looking bad for our heroes, a flood of new grads joins the confusion of battle. It's one of those patented Due South slow-song-during-action scenes, and the moment when the cavalry comes is really pretty moving. And Ray is wet.


Who's a wet, dangerous kitten?

The real turning point of the battle comes when Kevin can't shoot his brother. After that, Ray starts shooting well (without his glasses, even), and the grads quickly subdue the rest of the henchmen, with the commencement speaker giving them on-the-job quizzes about what to do next (which Ray fails: "What do we do after we control the suspect?" "Uh... kick him in the head?")

Wrap-up is at the reception for the graduation. Kevin's been arrested; Bruce has to go to Washington to testify, but after that, he can go where he wants. Everyone who was after him is gone. Fraser gives Elaine a speech about graduation, reminiscing about his first posting, "a remote village on the edge of--" "An ice floe," Ray finished. "Love you like a brother, Fraser, but let's not hear about that right now." Okay, okay, okay, but (A), (1), "like a brother" is clearly an afterthought designed to make the "love you" okay, and (2), (B), it's only third episode, and (3), (C), we already know ray has trouble separating his sexual desires from his metaphorical siblings.

Bottom Line: A decent case episode with some good moments. It even had big-picture-relevant themes of brotherhood and trust and protection, although the fact that Bruce was ultimately lied to and betrayed should not, I hope, be seen to comment on Fraser and Ray's budding partnership.

The Roundup:

 

3x4 Strange Bedfellows

In Fraser's storage room/office in the Consulate, a psychologist is administering an inkspot test. Fraser identifies the three inkspots he's given as "a criminal," "an officer of the law," and "justice." He hears sawing and hammering which nobody else hears, but when he opens the closet where it seems to be coming from, there's nothing. Sanity Doubted!

In the car, Fraser gives Ray a word association exercise. "Chainsaw." "Massacre." "Closet." Ray glances at Fraser suspiciously. "What kind of question is that?" Ha! "It's nothing untoward," Fraser assures him. Ray stops the car at a streetcorner and stares in the side mirror at a couple making out. "Disgusting," he says. Fraser's surprised: "I didn't realize you were so prudish." "Hey, hey, that's not it," says Ray, offended. "I'll try anything. That's not the point."


Ha! Ha ha ha. I bet you will you dirty little mynx.

Ray is on a crusade against "lascivious acts," as defined by an 1890 edition of the Chicago Criminal Code: "Old laws are the best laws."

Fraser spots someone pulling a gun across the street. He and Ray run out of the car, Fraser toward the attacker, Ray toward the couple. Ray manages to knock down the kissers just in time. The woman demands, "What the hell do you think you're doing?" "Saving your life," says Ray. Fraser runs a few steps afer the car, but he can't catch it. Couple Guy doesn't understand why Couple Woman is so upset; after all, it's a good thing Ray was there. She says sarcastically, "Oh, yeah, he just happened to be driving by." Ray introduces Fraser to his ex-wife Stella. Credits.


STELLAAAAAAAA!

Various police and reports question Orsini and Stella about the attack. Stella has kept her married name (she's called "State's Attorney Kowalski"). I suppose this makes practical sense; Stella has probably been building up her career under the name "Kowalski" longer than not. But it could also indicate that her feelings towards Ray are really not all that hostile (Kormantic has a story about this). Or possibly that her maiden name is just awful.

Fraser surmises all this attention is because Stella is in law enforcement, but Det. Huey's new partner, Det. Dewey (of course), says it's because the "guy she's doing" is an Alderman Frank Orsini, next in line for mayor. Ray objects to Dewey's wording, and the policeman kids him, saying they're obviously not just friends: "You've been replaced." Ray knocks him suddenly and forcefully into the hood of a car, and Fraser rushes to pull him back.

Huey and Dewey are assigned to investigate the murder attempt, so Fraser delivers some very precise information about the attacker and his car. Dewey doesn't believe he could possibly have observed a nick on the tire, etc., but Ray snaps, "Just write it down," still mad. I love it when his anger takes the form of defending Fraser. Welsh pulls Ray and Fraser aside and informs them that Orsini was impressed has specifically asked them to be his bodyguards. Contrived Plot Device Deployed!

Ray and Fraser give Stella and Orsini a ride home. Some wolf humor as Dief wants a window, but Ray wants him to stay in the middle and dissuade hanky-panky. Orsini is a little over-the-top sure for no real reason that Ray couldn't possibly be uncomfortable with this. He describes Ray as a "practical man," which is basically the opposite of true, but Ray mumbles agreement. They drop off Orsini, and Stella immediately asks Ray if he was stalking her. Fraser sticks up for him: "Ray is my partner and my friend, and I'm very confident his intentions were honorable." Stella asks Ray what he wants, and there's a weird moment of Ray internal monologue voiceover, "I want you. You know we were put on this planet to love one another." But he says, "Nothing." Stella declines their offer of a ride home and says she'll get a cab. As soon as she's out of the car, Ray repeatedly slams the dash with his fists. Fraser says calmly, "You're acting strangely tonight, Ray." Not really, this seems pretty in-character.


While his eyes scream, WHAT DO I DO IN THIS SITUATION.

Ray says this is the first time Stella's had a serious boyfriend since they split up. Not even Fraser really seems to believe Ray's explanation that he knows this because Stella is still close with his mom, but when he advises Ray to stay away from Stella, Fraser puts it as generously as possible: "I can see how she might misunderstand." With difficulty, Ray admits he still thinks about Stella all the time. Fraser looks helpless, and just says, gently, "That must not be be easy for you." This is the nicest scene in the world.

At the station, Fraser and Ray codependently use the computer, with Ray trying to look stuff up, doing it wrong, getting frustrated, and Fraser standing behind him and leaning over to hit the right keys. Ray wants to solve the case even though it's not his, just so he can stop bodyguarding. They find out Orsini is pushing a big shopping development that's bad for the residents of a low-income neighborhood, so you know over the course of the episode we'll only find out he's more and more evil.

Ray and Fraser arrive at Orsini's house early the next morning in time to see Stella come out of the door, kissing Orsini before she heads on her way. Ray sinks his head onto the steering wheel in despair. Fraser tries to convince him it was maybe just a breakfast date. Ray thinks that's a stupid idea: "People go on dates to get into bed, not out of it." Fraser begins to scold, "That's an extremely narrow interpretation--", but Ray interrupts to insist he knows Stella. As Orsini approaches, Fraser gets out to open his door for him, but opens his own door too soon and hits Orsini in the stomach. He apologizes profusely, but: was that meant to be on purpose?? There's no other reason for it, but it seems out of character, especially since he really doesn't think Orsini has done anything to wrong Ray. Exposure to, and love for, Ray is just making Fraser a slightly worse person, and that's kind of wonderful.

Orsini talks at the groundbreaking ceremony for his development. A scuffle breaks out between a protester and a security guy; Fraser gets in the middle trying to calm it down, but gets roped into a theoretical discussion of the limits of free speech, and it's Ray who succeeds at ending the incident by snapping, "First guy tries any free speech gets their head kicked in." Aside, he tells Fraser that if things come to it and he needs to take a bullet for Orsini, "Do me a favor, don't." Fraser is touched that Ray is so concerned for him.

Ray follows the head protester to get in a little questioning. The protester says he doesn't know who made the murder attempt, but he'd say if he did, because it makes his side look bad. Someone throws a bottle at Protester Guy from a car. Ray pushes him out of the way, and gets a partial license number.

Fraser and Ray trail Orsini out of a meeting at the courthouse. Fraser thinks seeing democracy in action was "illuminating," Ray thinks everything the councilmen was saying was crap, and it devolves into a fun simultaneous argument. On the steps, Orsini meets up with Stella and a lady client. A man being led by tries to break free from his police guard to beg the client lady to take him back. "We belong together!" he insists. Ray steps in and tells the guy to back off. "You're a man, you know how this feels," the ex-husband says. "No, I don't," says Ray. Oooh, I love when characters publicly act in opposition to their private thoughts and feelings.

As the man's led off, Ray asks Stella if he was ever like that, and she says no: "You always knew the line." So basically an explicit statement that Ray and Stella's relationship wasn't abusive, despite their namesakes. But we knew from her first appearance, from the first moment she spoke and her words were "What the hell do you think you're doing?", that Ray's Stella Kowalski was nothing like Tennessee Williams's Stella Kowalski. She's confident. She's tough. If anything, Ray's the fragile one. The ways in which characters do and don't resemble the famous people they are so often named after in this show is consistently confusing.

Nice restaurant on a cruise ship. Ray and Fraser are sharing a small table, date-like.


Can we just leave it here? Yes? No?

Ray gets up to go ask Stella to dance. Stella declines, until Orsini says, "I wouldn't mind," and then Stella has to do it just to prove that's not what's holding her back. Using her strong-willed feminist ideals against her! Huh. "You think you're smart, huh?" says Stella as Ray leads her to the dance floor. "Nah," says Ray. "You're the smart one, I'm just pretty." This is a fun line, both because Ray is pretty (so pretty!), and because we know that he isn't actually all that confident in his own prettiness. (cf. "Do you find me attractive?") I have no trouble believing he doesn't think himself smart, though.

The music fades to opera and suddenly Ray and Stella are dancing alone across the water. They kiss, but it's a fanasy; in the next moment the music's cut out, the other couples are back, and Stella is thanking Ray for the dance and going back to Orsini. Ray walks dazedly back to his table, where Fraser is giving him a thumbs-up. "You're both excellent dancers!" Continuity!

Fraser notices that a bottle of champagne being delivered to Orsini is a bomb because the cork screws the wrong way. He runs to throw the bottle overboard, and Ray runs to throw Stella on the ground and protect her with his body. This is the point where Orsini seems kind of miffed that Ray is getting overfriendly with his girlfriend. But the measure is proved prudent; the bottle explodes. While Fraser dives in the water to recover evidence, Ray fails to get up off of Stella.

Back at the station, Fraser examines the circuitboard from the bomb and finds a serial number, and he defines the word "nefarious" for Ray, who pretends he knew all along. Fraser accepts this. They are adorable.

Ray takes Stella home, walking her right up to her door.


I love how Ray walks all hunched over and hugging himself, even (especially?) when he's working it.

The dance and rescue have softened Stella toward Ray, and she invites him inside. Ray says he wants to, but, "I don't think it's a good idea. We might... It just seems like the wrong time." Stella agrees. Some high tension with unfinished sentences spoken softly in close quarters. Stella finally gives Ray a peck on the side of the mouth and goes inside, closing the door behind her. Ray puts his hand up to knock, but doesn't. "I suck," he murmurs as he walks away.

Fraser is sleeping in his office in the consulate when he's awoken by the sound of construction work. He opens the closet but finds nothing. When he opens the outer door, he finds Ray.

Plot! Plotplot. Ray traced the license plate of the bottle thrower, and he and Fraser tail him and find him meeting with Orsini's assistant. Fraser identifies the car as the same car driven by the shooter from the first scene of the episode.


The car-tailing scene contains a much-vidded moment of them putting their seats down and gazing longingly at each other whilst horizontal. They're not saying anything relationshippy, they just like to gaze longingly at each other while discussing the plot points.

Ray brings in the bottle thrower and he and Welsh question him. The thrower admits that he was hired by Orsini's people to make a convincing murder attempt to make the opposition look bad, but denies involvement with the champagne bomb. Next time he meets up with Orsini at the courthouse, Ray zealously presents a warrant for his arrest.

At the station, though, Ray feels let down: "I should have popped him in the head when I had the chance." Stella is disappointed in Orsini, and Ray snorts "A corrupt politician? Never," but Fraser says Stella's reaction is "as it should be," since he doesn't believe in cynicism. As Ray leaves to bring Stella home, Frannie runs up with the info on the circuitboard trace. Fraser tells Welsh that Orsini and his people were being honest when they said they had nothing to do with it.

Stella's hallway. This time, Ray volunteers to go inside, and Stella lets him in. He puts on music, and they slow-dance on the balcony. He reminds her of the first time they met; it was love at first sight, even though they were twelve, and Ray wasn't wearing his glasses because he was too vain. So, that much hasn't changed. "I could stay the night," he murmurs. Stella says it would be a mistake; it would be "great," but it wouldn't change anything. Ray starts to argue, but Stella says, softly, "I didn't say you couldn't stay."


Oh, hey, Stella actually must like Ray, right?

They lean in for a kiss, and it very quickly turns into this hungry, desperate mutual face-eating, and they're both trying to ignore a persistent knock at the door. We cut to Fraser knocking. Ray finally pops his head out. "This is the wrong moment for a visit, Fraser! In fact, of all the wrong moments for a visit, this is the wrongest." Fraser says he knows, but Stella's life is at stake. Ray says "Come on in," and immediately shuts the door on Fraser. Ha! He reopens it a moment later, all, "Sorry."

Just as Fraser is explaining that the bomb was the ex-husband-stalker-guy's, intended for Stella, said stalker busts in with a bomb. He raves that it's Stella's fault his wife turned on him, and once she's gone it will all be okay. Ray tells him it's not like that: "When it's over, it's over. You gotta accept that." Fraser disarms ex guy and Ray subdues him. Fraser tosses the bomb into the sky where it explodes like a firework.

Wrap-up. Police lead ex guy out. Stella kisses Ray goodnight, and shuts herself inside (and Ray outside). Fraser asks Ray out to eat, but Ray says he wants to be alone. Fraser asks if he meant it, that you can't go back to the past, and Ray says no, he was lying.

Consulate. Thatcher gives Fraser the good news that his mental health was deemed "acceptable," but is weirded out when Fraser asks if she hears singing from inside the closet. She leaves, and Fraser enters the closet. Beyond the coats, he finds himself in a large wood-paneled office, with the ghost of his father at the desk. Fraser Sr. claims he needs an office to catch up on his "work." Fraser asks his father, "Did you ever have a partner who needed your help but you didn't know how to help him?" Aww. The dad's advice is, as usual, not good (throw him in a snowbank to cool his ardor). Thatcher returns and opens the door; Fraser is just standing in among the coats. Sanity Doubted!


In the closet.

In his dark apartment, Ray dances alone.


Pathos!

Bottom Line: The length of this recap probably indicates that I liked the episode. Perhaps by skimping on the plot, as usual (not that I mind), they packed a surprising lot of emotional arc into the episode. Although straight, Stella and Ray's chemistry was believable and sexy, and while some fans find Stella cold and weird, I think her reactions made complete sense for a strong, independent person who still loves Ray in her own way, but who knows it can't work, who has spent years getting over him, and who is frustrated that he doesn't seem to have made the same effort. I like seeing Ray gently teeter back and forth over the line that separates a good thing to do from a bad thing to do; and I like seeing him in turmoil. (I just do!) Fraser's gentle, hesitant, ineffective good intentions were very sweet, too. Even by Fraser standards, he was being especially protective and respectful of Ray's feelings. God, I love Ray's feelings!

The Roundup:

 

3x5 Seeing is Believing

Do-maaa-aaa. Ray and Fraser are visiting an inukshuk (enormous arrangement of stacked stones) which has for some reason been erected in the middle of mall. Fraser loves it, of course; he's mid-lecture about how it can apparently be used to convey such information as where the best seals are. "Great. If I ever need a seal, I'll know where to come," says Ray. "And all my friends have been asking, 'Ray, where do you get all those seals?'" Ha! He posits that a gift should be practical, "like when we gave you all those assault rifles," so I guess this is a gift from Canada. In other news, Ray's hair is down this episode, and he looks adorable.


Hair down, cuffs up.

Thatcher and Welsh join them. Apparently there's going to be a "dedication." Each of them goes in a separate direction: Thatcher for coffee, Welsh to "check out my podium" (why is Welsh speechifying at a Canada gift dedication? Wouldn't that be better for Thatcher? Come to think of it, isn't coffee classic for a cop? Did they switch?). Ray says what sounds like, "I'm gonna get some green food thing." What? Fraser, of course, runs off after a purse snatcher.

We see each of the others triangulating at their various locations around a small cafe table at which a young man, a young woman, and an older man are having an argument. The older man yells, "This doesn't happen to me!" The younger man gets up and leads the woman away by the hand. The older man follows. The two men start shoving each other. Welsh, Thatcher, and Ray are now very interested, each watching from their respective locations.


That is indeed a green food thing. Huh.

The woman grabs onto both of them, apparently trying to stop the fight. Then the older man falls down on the ground with a knife in his gut. Ray leaps over the wall and immediately has his gun to the younger man's neck.

Fraser meanwhile is in a different part of the mall altogether, apprehending the purse snatcher. "Is that your purse?" he asks gravely. The purse snatcher says, "Yeah." Fraser gives him a classic look of disappointment. "I use it to carry stuff," the purse snatcher explains. "Look, you put stuff in your pockets, you get unsightly bulges in your pants, you know?" He glances down. "Maybe you don't know." Is that a jodhpurs reference or a Fraser-never-gets-laid reference?

Fraser returns to the main atrium, and he and Ray quickly get each other up to speed ("Who's that?" "Purse snatcher. Who's that?" "Dead guy.") Ray grabs the younger man's arm. "He did it." Thatcher grabs the woman's arm. "She did it!" Welsh says, "They both did it!" Fraser looks Concerned. Ah, the Rashomon episode.

Only now am I up to the credits. These recaps are getting longer and longer.

"Other than the six people who swore the Mountie did it, nobody saw a thing," Ray exposits as our four heroes all get their preferred drinks from of the station kitchen (coffees for Welsh and Thatcher, a soda for Ray, and a half-gallon of milk for Fraser). The victim was Mike Bennet, and the two suspects--the younger man and the woman--aren't talking. Since they're the only three witnesses, they agree to let Fraser take down their statements.

"Well? Do our statements agree?" Welsh asks. Fraser closes his notebook, all business. "There are certain areas of congruence, some of them significant, but on balance? Not even remotely." Fraser is awfully cute in this episode, too.


Or maybe I just like it when a man is clearly wearing a lot of makeup.

Welsh's office. Welsh wants to arrest 'em both and let the courts sort 'em out. Ray doesn't think the woman should be taken since she didn't do it--"she was probably the cause of it, but--" "Oh!" says Thatcher. "Just because she's a woman, she can't be the killer, she can only be the motive!" "It's good to be the motive," Ray insists. "It's very good to be the motive." Aw, Ray. Do you kinda wish you were the motive?

Francesca brings in one of the impractical clear whiteboards they like to shoot through on TV. She's wearing the first of many, many teeny blue crop tops adorned with the "Civilian Aid" patch (Welsh tells her "Get a longer shirt!"). Just the way she says "Hi" and "Bye" to Fraser, all soft voice and eyelashes, causes him extreme and delightful discomfort.

Welsh diagrams the scene on the whiteboard, trying to get down the facts. Fact: Since they were all sitting at a table together, they probably knew each other. Ray says of course they did: the woman was obviously the victim's wife or girlfriend.

WELSH: How could you know that?
RAY: Body language!
WELSH: Body language. Can we confine ourselves to facts, Detective?
RAY: Body language happens to be a fact that I am particularly [he gracefully vaults into the chair from over the back rungs] sensitive to.

Ha ha. He is trying to be suave, sexy, intuitive, earthy, raunchy guy. And it's working.

As Welsh continues the diagram, Ray leans his head back and closes his eyes: "I can see it better this way." "Probably the way you saw it in the first place," mutters Thatcher. Ray describes the victim grabbing the young man--they all agree on this--but not on the adjectives Ray applies to the victim: "He's trying to be threatening, but he's just pathetic, really." In light of the previous episode, I suppose he's describing this in terms of how he saw Orsini last episode.

Right on cue, Francesca announced State's Attorney Kowalski, and Stella walks in, demanding, "What do you expect me to do with this mess?" Ray puffs out his chest toward her and says "Hi, Stella." "Back off, Ray," says Stella. Ray wilts a little and shuts up. Speaking of pathetic, it's clear Ray's trying his best to be acceptable to Stella here, and she's not in the mood.

STELLA: Do you have any other evidence I should know about?
RAY (smiling, like he's making what he thinks is a funny joke): What, other than the fact that they were standing right beside him when he keeled over with a knife in his guts?
STELLA: Cut the sarcasm, Ray.
RAY (immediately): Okay.

Okay, I can sort of see how she comes off as unlikeable here. Ray's just saying "hi", and she's already snapping at him. But I think we can safely assume that Ray's used up his good credit with her, probably by establishing a pattern of bugging her while she's trying to work. When we saw her dropping her guard with Ray in the last episode, it was primarily when they were both off-duty. Now, we're seeing her in her official role, and she doesn't want to play.


I wonder what ever came between them?

In general, Stella seems to want a lot more of a separation between work life and life-life than Ray does. Which is not hard: Ray kind of seems to want zero separation; even insofar as we know him by episode 5, we know he takes cases personally and brings his personal feelings to cases, and we know he willingly took on the care and keeping of Fraser, probably knowing to some extent that Vecchio's relationship with him was not only partners but friends.) "Two careers, it just didn't work out" is how Ray described their breakup in Eclipse, but my guess isn't that their careers necessarily took them away from each other (Stella dates now, Ray seems to find plenty of time to obsess, and we know as of this episode that their jobs throw them together from time to time), but that their approaches to the personal vs. the professional were at odds.

(Optimistically, Ray and Fraser seem to have more similar attitudes. Neither one of them seems to understand the problem juggling Doing a Job and Having A Life because they both do them at the same time. Sure, Fraser does it by maintaining his Honest Trustworthy Brave True Mountie persona all the time, and Ray does it by bringing down the level professionalism at work, but it's all good.)

A-nyway. Stella gives them an hour and a half to figure out their evidence and then she has to let the suspects go to avoid a harrassment suit.

Frannie brings in a file on the suspect. He was loosely connected with the mob. Welsh feels vindicated. Ray can't believe this was a hit, in broad daylight, in the middle of a mall.

WELSH: Maybe they're so smart, they do something stupid. Anybody ever think of that?
FRASER: Could you elucidate, sir?
WELSH: No, no, not since the late sixties.
RAY (nodding): That's, that's Canadian for "explain."

I love that Welsh is the one to misunderstand Fraser (not Ray) and Ray is the one to give the translation (not Thatcher). He's beginning to understand!

Welsh gets caught up describing a multiple-level bluff a la never-mess-with-a-Sicilian-when-death-is-on-the-line. Thatcher changes the subject back to the woman, but admits she didn't actually see the stabbing. Over a slow-mo shot of Fraser running and opera music:

"I was a little distracted. Constable Fraser was running after the shoplifter. You know, the uniform, the motion, the legs, driving like pistons, pumping like steel..."

Welsh, Ray, and Fraser all stare at her in horror. "Something red going fast always draws the eye," Thatcher mutters. She theorizes that the woman was married to the older man, who was cold and unfeeling; she bases this on the woman's jewelry, which is nice, suggesting sugar daddy gifts. Ray scoffs, but his rebuttal is also based on observation of the woman's jewelry--a school ring, presumably a going-steady gift from the young man. They argue about whether the young woman and young man were friends or lovers.

THATCHER: It is possible for a man and a woman to develop a personal, platonic relationship based on friendship, a shared sense of values, and mutual respect.
RAY: Yeah, on Mars, maybe.
FRASER: Oh no, here on Earth as well, Ray. I think it happens all the time.
FRANNIE: Doesn't sound like much fun to me.

So Ray doesn't believe in platonic friendship and Fraser does--surely that is meaningful somehow. (At the very least, he seems to be assuring Ray: "my female friends are JUST FRIENDS!")

Now they just get further afield of facts, theorizing about how the young man and woman met. "Her pool boy, like in Sword of Desire," suggests Frannie (who wasn't even there! but maybe she's seen the young man at the station) imagines the young man, shirtless, cleaning a pool. "Only he wasn't really her pool boy, he was--" "An English lord," Ray cuts her off. Ha! Ha! Ray knows his romance novels!

Okay, now we get into the real fantasy sequences of what happened. Thatcher stands by the scene, narrating as the trio rehashes their argument. In her version, the woman has enlisted her friend Pool Boy to help her break up with the brutal, unfeeling Bennet, who demands: "Couldn't you do any better than a pool boy?!" I know they're all supposed to be putting their own personal feelings into this story, but I guess I'm not sure what this is supposed to represent for her; she hasn't settled for someone subpar to the disappointment of an older/powerful/more authority-bearing lover, has she? Maybe "Fraser" and "the dominion of Canada" except that we haven't seen her having to choose between them. My own personal interpretation is of course that she is the one in authority and Fraser has chosen his own personal pool boy over her.

But that's inconsistent, too. As Thatcher's fantasy continues, the woman has disappeared, and she herself is the one the two men are fighting over. She stabs Bennet, then turns around; Pool Boy has turned into Fraser. "I could never let them hurt you," she murmurs, touching Fraser's cheek with blood-streaked hands.

Okay seriously, what is this a metaphor for? Who does she think she stabbed for Fraser? As we fade back into the station, Ray rises from couch behind Thatcher--approximately where she left the "body"--so maybe that's significant. Okay now Fraser is claiming Thatcher is referring to "an incident on a train" by which I guess he means 2x14 All The Queen's Horses, except that Thatcher totally didn't come close to killing anybody for Fraser in that episode. Wasn't the whole point that when push came to shove and she thought he was dead, she was almost instantly ready to soldier on? ("I grieved for you!" "You did?" "...Briefly!")

"What I'm trying to say," Thatcher continues, despite my objections, "is that it is possible to feel so strongly for another person that you would do anything to protect them. Even kill for them." Ray sends Fraser a sidelong glance which I am totally not making up.


See?

The suspects have lawyered up. In the interrogation room, the woman's lawyer argues for her to be released. Fraser floats Thatcher's theory, which the lawyer scoffs at, but the young woman speaks up: "You're right." She says it happened just like they said. Fraser asks gently where she kept the knife, and asks her to demonstrate pulling it out of her pocket using his pen. When she tries, it gets stuck; her jeans are too tight. Ray asks where the young woman got her jewelry, and she says her parents: "Why?" Ray shrugs, smiling winningly. "I like jewelry."

Ray nods Fraser out of the room, while Welsh and Thatcher stay to go over it again with the girl. Out in the hall, Ray grins and claps his hands, and they totally have this exchange and it's GREAT:

RAY: I love you, Fraser!
FRASER (immediately): And I you, Ray.
RAY (laughing): No, not literally, I mean, symbolically or something.
FRASER (just immediately, but less convincingly): No, I know. Thank you.


"And I you, Ray."

Next interrogation room. The young man's lawyer, a public defender played by Anna from Slings and Arrows, is the opposite of the woman's, asking the police to just charge him already so she can get out of there. She's surprised when Ray tells them the girl confessed to the whole thing. The young man says that's impossible--"I did it!" Ray makes a fist-slap-grin-thing gesture. "I knew it!" "So did I," says Anna, rolling her eyes.

Two confessions. Welsh thinks this supports his theory. Ray thinks it supports his: "They're in love, naturally they're going to cover for each other, cause that's what passion does." Now we get Ray's fantasy about the events, and we jump right in with him slumped at the table in the position of the older man. "This hurts like hell, I gave you everything," he whimpers. "This doesn't happen to me!"


Anguish of Ray

The couple get up and walk away, and Ray follows; the young man shoves him. "She doesn't want you anymore!" "I want to hear that from her lips," says Ray. "Is this about kids? Is that what this is about? Cause I can wait. And you can get your career set up, and we can have kids later. Lots of them."

And a hundred million kid!fics were born.

"You two keep looking for things that aren't there," Welsh tells Thatcher and Ray, "like passion and romance. Forget about it! They don't exist!" He stares pensively through the blinds. "This world is full of creeps." I may like Welsh best of all. His fantasy of the events is short and he's an observer, not one of the players. The young man and woman look delighted and evil as they stand over the body. Ray points out only one of them had the knife, and Welsh says it doesn't matter, leading to a fun character moment for Welsh and Ray:

WELSH: You load a gun, you cock the trigger, you give the gun to Thatcher, she uses it on Fraser. I find out your hand was on the gun, you both go away.
THATCHER: I would never shoot a fellow officer.
WELSH: That's cause you never had Ray working under you. You'd change your tune.
RAY: What?
WELSH: Hey, I'd shoot you.

Fraser has a new idea for how to get the information: hypnosis! Oh, this'll be fun. Fraser apparently strongly believes in hypnosis as a great way to more precisely recall events (not a great way to create false memories)! Nobody wants to be hypnotized (Welsh: "Use it on Ray." Ray: "I'd love to, Fraser, but I got bad eyes.") except Frannie, who wasn't there ("Does that matter?" "Oddly, yes.") Finally Fraser gets to do it on Thatcher. He pendulums a loonie in front of her face and describes a cold snowy trek scene where hypothermia is beginning to set in; he's surprised when she tells him that isn't relaxing. She falls into a trance immediately when he begins to recite the RCMP manual. When he tells her to picture herself at the mall, Frannie pipes up, "Oh good. I love shopping." "Nice pile of rocks," Ray and Welsh intone. Fraser looks over and sees that everyone else has fallen into trances, too. "Oh, dear," he says. Then, a lightbulb seems to go off over his head, and he turns and leans over to Ray. "Ray, when you hear me say the word," he thinks a moment, and then purrs with odd sensuality, "'Cauliflower...'" HA! HIS FIRST INSTINCT IS TO REPROGRAM RAY!

Back from commercial, the upshot of the hypnotizing is that there was actually a fourth man at the table, but only Thatcher saw him. They ask the young woman about him, and she says it was the older man's bodyguard. Bennet was a crime boss, and the girl was trying to help her friend, the young man, get out of a deal with him. She admits the young man was the stabber.

"Okay, so I got the motive wrong, at least I got the killer right," says Ray in the hall. Fraser annoys him by simply saying, "Hmmm." All four talk to the young man again, who, upon being informed that the girl has given the whole story, insists she didn't mean to do it. They both genuinely think the other did it.

Fraser wants to question the purse snatcher. Ray doesn't see what he has to do with it, and starts yelling: "Look, Fraser, you're making me nuts! You give me a hint here or I swear I'll clock you right--"

"Cauliflower!" says Fraser.

Ray instantly relaxes and says, quickly and emotionlessly, as if reciting, "I'm sorry Fraser for being so abrupt I hope you will accept my heartfelt apology." Fraser says sidelong to the others that it won't last long, but "it's kind of enjoyable, isn't it?" He cocks his head and looks fondly at docile!Ray.


He's beautiful when he's admiring someone who's beautiful when he's docile

You've got to love that Fraser programs Ray to be polite. But um like he's got to have programmed in some other keywords, too, right? (Here's a story about that.)

Fraser snaps his fingers, ending the trance, and Ray concludes, mid-yell, "--all right, cut the mumbo-jumbo and answer the question!" Fraser gives his final analysis of the situation. (Interestingly, his version of the conversation includes both the love and work themes, with the younger man crying, "I love her!" and the older man replying, "You can love her all you want, you work for me." DISCUSS.) The fourth man didn't want to be seen. He lurked in the background until the purse snatcher--whom he had paid off to create a distraction--lured everyone's attention away. Then he hid behind the inukshuk, and threw a knife from there. The others doubt a knife could be thrown that accurately from that far, and of course Fraser demonstrates with two letter openers.

The purse snatcher has just made bail. Fraser and Ray find him meeting with the fourth man outside the station. As soon as they come out, the fourth man shoots at them. They duck behind a car for cover, Ray quipping, "I think he's got a gun!" He puts on his adorable ugly glasses.

FRASER: Ray, have you considered contacts?
RAY: Too much fuss. Have you considered a gun?
FRASER: Too many legalities.
RAY: Look, Fraser, just once, I would like to say [gun cocking sound effect and hand gesture] "Rack that bad boy and cover me!"

Fraser sort of covers him anyway, running out after the man unarmed. Ray follows, shooting.


Your obligatory glasses shot

Welsh and Thatcher arrive out of different doors, echoing the triangulation theme from first scene. The fourth man shoots at each person as they duck behind something. Welsh left his gun inside; Ray is pulling an empty clip out of his. Only Fraser walks out, calmly, in front of the shooter. Thatcher and Ray yell at him to stop, but he doesn't. He thinks the shooter is out of ammo. Ray, Welsh, and Thatcher argue about how many rounds they heard.

Fraser delivers a lecture. What he's really upset about, of course, is that the shooter used the inukshuk as cover: "You violated a sacred thing." The man tries to shoot, but is out of ammo. Ray grins, all relief and delight. We see nobody else's reaction. The editor knew what was up. The man pulls out his knife and throws it at Fraser. Fraser jerks to the side; Thatcher looks scared; Ray runs to him. Fraser stands up holding the knife in his hand. "That was close!" he tells Ray. Ray makes an "I hate you Fraser" type grunt and turns to the shooter, first holding out his gun, but then remembering and changing his grip on it and charging forward, "I will beat you to death with this empty gun!" Oh Ray.

Wrap-up. Thatcher is yelling at Fraser to come to the car while he's trying to talk to Ray, until he says, "Eggplant!" and she goes docile: "Unless of course you'd like to stay and talk to your friend for a little while longer. In fact, why don't you stay as long as you'd like?" Fraser and Ray head off together. Ha ha that is unethical! Ray gets to snap out of it, Thatcher just gets left! Also is Thatcher's hypnosis order limited to letting him hang out with Ray?

Bottom Line: I love that this is a both a case episode and profoundly character-centric episode, even if the solution is a little silly and and some of the character-based interpretations feel inconsistent (but that's part of the charm! room for interpretation!) There's a fast pace (I KNOW I KNOW NOT TO THE RECAP SHUT UP) and a lot of funny lines, some of which I actually laughed at. Ray and Fraser at their most visually adorable.


Both of them!

The Roundup:

 

3x12 Mountie on the Bounty (Part 1)

In her excellent episode analyses, Truepenny describes this episode as "the point at which the unstable plate tectonics of [Fraser and Ray's] relationship finally produce an earthquake", and, as with pretty much everything she says (much more succinctly and thoughtfully than I ever do), I agree wholeheartedly. Upraised defenses and poor communication, resentment, dependence, and love/hate relations, insecure heroes and paladins who sing, these are a few of my favorite things!

We open mid-adventure, with Fraser and Ray running from some bad guys on a roof, Ray shooting behind him periodically. They take cover in a random alcove.


What is the intended purpose of this alcove?

Fraser suggests they jump into the lake below. Ray doesn't like the idea; he can't swim. "The quality of the water alone will probably kill us," says Fraser. Despite Ray's objections, Fraser says, "On three," and Ray says, "One," and they both run and take the ridiculously long jump, screaming and flailing their legs.

Wrap-up. (Of that adventure, anyway.) Hughie and Dewey put the bad guys into a cop car. Welsh asks for Ray; Dewey points out Ray and Fraser off by the edge of the lake, saying, "They've been going at it awhile now."


ARGUING, of course. What did you think?

We catch them at this moment. Picture them both gesticulating at each other as they yell.

FRASER: What do you propose we do, Ray? We are officers of the law.
RAY: I know that, we're cops. I don't have a cape, you don't have a cape. [Ed note: This is an old issue, so we don't even need context to jump in--Fraser wanting to jump into some adventure whole-hog at risk to their lives, and Ray claiming he doesn't do that for anybody, even though he really does.]
FRASER No, but I do have a uniform, you carry a badge, and [indicating his belt] my Sam Browne is sort of a--
RAY: Why you arguing with me?
FRASER: I am not arguing with you!
RAY: Yes you are! That's that thing again, you're correcting. You're niggling. You're doing that thing with the, with the T's and the I's, and I say A, you say B, I say night, you say day.
FRASER (rubbing his ear): I think you should be reasonable. I don't do it all the time.
RAY: Look! You just did it again! You just did it again! It's like some kind of disease!
FRASER: It's not a disease.
RAY: I don't want to hear it, I don't want to hear it, I don't understand, I don't want to hear it!
FRASER: Ray, would you just listen to me?
RAY: Look, I swear to, I swear to God I will punch you right in the face. Fair warning.
FRASER: Well, what does that mean, you're going to punch me?
RAY (overlapping): Just look, I, I'm going to punch you in the face!
FRASER (overlapping): Just think calmly--
RAY (overlapping): Why don't you listen to me!
Ray punches Fraser in the face.


Fig. 1


Fig. 2

Ray takes in a deep breath, but says nothing. Fraser nods slightly, then turns and walks away. After another moment, Ray walks off in the opposite direction.


Intense!

Okay so the punch was kinda fake-o. Trying to find a cap of it, I couldn't, because Ray's hand never gets anywhere near Fraser's face. But, you know. Still intense.

(Truepenny has a lot of good stuff to say about that fight--how Fraser does argue by nitpicking, and it's intended to confuse his opponents and defuse situations, but it just makes Ray angrier, because he feels he isn't being heard, and because his insecurities are all about self-worth, so he always takes criticism personally--but I don't want to quote it all! Just read it. It's short.)

After the credits, Ray trudges into the station, looking super sad. Awwwwzheva kitten.

Meanwhile, Thatcher walks into Fraser's office at the consulate; he's mid-getting-changed, wearing a white undershirt and white boxers. Nice arms. Thatcher gets all flustered, screwball comedy comic banter ensues, then she delivers the point of the scene: Fraser got a transfer to Ottawa. She doesn't want him to go ("We've developed a relationship--a working relationship!"). Fraser doesn't say a thing.

Cut to Welsh handing Ray his own notification of transfer. Pausing, it appears the gist of the letter is that, due to his "excellent service," he can choose to go anywhere he wants. Really? Does that happen? Ray, quietly: "So I could get my own life back? My own name?" Actually, the notice is address to Detective Raymond Vecchio, so I'm not sure he can.

Night. Fraser and Ray go back to the lake's edge.

RAY: This is where it started, this is where we'll end it.
FRASER: I was over there. [They change places.] I can't do this, Ray.
RAY: You have to.
FRASER: Is this for good?
RAY: You put in your transfer, I'll put in mine. It's quits.
FRASER (swallowing): Are you sure about this?
RAY (swallowing): Go on.

Fraser shakes his head slightly, but then he pulls back and punches Ray in the face. Ray falls over, then gets up, touching his mouth, and says, calmly, "There. Done. Pleasure working with you."


Again, if I capped the actual moment of "contact", you would be deeply disappointed.

This whole beginning part--we're only seven minutes into the show--feels really rushed, all these momentous things happening that you feel like should have been episode climaxes and not episode set-up, like they're trying to cram a season arc into one two-parter, which maybe they are. Still, with all the punching, they're so sexily dysfunctional, and it definitely bodes well that we're focusing on Fraser and Ray's Important Partnership.

Ray and Fraser get back in the car--after all that, Ray's still giving Fraser a ride home--and they both just sit there for a second, closed eyes, hands on temples, each trying to privately gather his thoughts and pull himself together.


This should maybe be their first clue?

Finally Ray starts up the car, and immediately a body falls on the hood with a knife in the back! Ray radios for help, and Fraser runs to the man; it's a bearded gentleman with an eyepatch and a hook hand, and he grits out the words, "Treasure... chest..." before dying. Okay, fair enough, so we're off relationship issues and onto pirates. This is a great show. "All right, okay," says Ray, joining Fraser, "one more case, and then we're done."

Okay, let's try to speed things up, this is a two-part episode after all. The deceased was named Billy Butler, he was a boatman with smuggling convictions and he's got a map carved into his chest. Ray and Fraser go to a boatman bar to ask around, and everyone clams up except a guy who mentions "a ghost ship flying the colors of the Mackenzie", and the barkeep who has a trunk of Butler's for some reason. Fraser finds a gold bar in the false bottom. Outside the bar, a blind guy sells them a newspaper article in which it's reported that Butler drowned over a year ago on the Robert Mackenzie. Ghost pirates! Relationships and ghosts pirates! "Thirty-two down on the Robert Mackenzie!" some guys bellow in chorus on the soundtrack. It's kind of wtf the first time, but eventually it will become clear that Paul Gross wrote and recorded an original folk song about this fictional boat wreck, of exactly that melancholy/defiant tone you totally get in Canadian folk songs about naval disasters (think "Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald" and "Barrett's Privateers"), which is kinda badass actually.

Boat guys are reluctant to discuss ghosts. Fraser pulls Ray's gun on the blind guy to prove he isn't blind, which I mention just in case you ever need to vid Fraser holding a gun. Frannie calls Ray to tell him that not only did their guy have a rap sheet, but everyone on the boat did, a fact which Ray calls "queer." They question the foreman, but he resists, saying you get what you get from the union, now if you gentlemen will excuse me; Ray is about to ask another question, but Fraser says, "Thank you kindly for you time." They get halfway down the stairs and Ray turns to Fraser.

RAY: Do not do that, Fraser!
FRASER: Do what?
RAY (walking off): Cut me off like that! I was goin' on my gut. When your partner's goin' on his gut, you gotta go with the flow, you gotta let it ride, you gotta...
FRASER (stopping): Ray. Ray. Ray. Ray. Ray.
RAY: What!
FRASER: The car's this way.
RAY (after a pause): Right. Car's this way. I knew that.
This is a standard bit of comedy--both because the Ray, Ray, Ray, Ray, this way is a running gag in Due South, and because pride-comes-before-a-fall is a running gag in the universe--but it doesn't play as comedy, because Ray is really angry, and because this actually wasn't pride; it was basically desperate begging for a shot to prove himself.

Fraser and Ray talk about the case a bit, agreeing to go to the union hall next, then Fraser asks, tentatively, "So we're still partners, then?" Ray doesn't respond directly: "The problem is we're stale. Like bread or something. Maybe it is time for a change." Oh noooo!

Union hall. Their guy is leaving on the Henry Allen in the morning.

They're wandering through the docks bickering (once again) about where they left the car when they're jumped by some guys with guns. They fight back, and Ray gets the gun; one guy says, "Don't look for the Mackenzie," before they all run off. Fraser says, "I think we're onto something, Ray." Ray is just exasperated, like, ugh, more of same. He says, "Look, I may be damaged, Fraser, but I'm not stupid. There's more to life than dyin'," punctuating the remark by angry-sexily taking off his leather jacket and heading off to brood against the hood of the car. It's a great line, because: all of those things are true! And because, from the beginning, Fraser's deal has kind of been that he's willing to lay down his life at the drop of a hat--that he need a partner to give him a reason not to do that.

While Fraser stares longingly at Ray's sexy lean, Fraser Sr. appears in the shadows behind him.

FRASER SR: A partnership is like a marriage, son. Give and take, up and down, who left the empty butter dish in the fridge. It isn't easy.
FRASER: No, it isn't.
FRASER SR: Buck Frobisher and I were a team, maybe the best team the North has ever known. One day we fell out and it all but destroyed us.
FRASER: What did you do?
FRASER SR: We swallowed our pride for the greater good. Someone is using a brave ship's name for an evil purpose, and you've got to stop them. You need the Yank. Swallow the pride, son.
He should swallow someth--oh, sorry, is this too nice a moment to ruin?


Buck Frobisher knew how to lean like that.

Fraser walks up to Ray. "Ray..." Ray cuts him off, demanding to know why they should go out of their jurisdiction to track down the Mackenzie. In solemn and poetic detail, Fraser recounts the original wreck of Mackenzie--a Thunder Bay coal ship which was split in two in a storm in 1969 (clearly based on the Edmund Fitzgerald). Interestingly, during most of this, we're not looking at Fraser, who's delivering a heartfelt monologue; we're looking at Ray's profile, cloaked in shadow. We're looking for a reaction, but we don't get one. He's just staring straight ahead, listening, and we don't know if he's buying it, or what, but when Fraser finishes, there's a pause, and then he blinks, as if coming out of a trance, and takes a big breath.

RAY: All right. All right. Say we drive like hell. I mean, put the pedal to the metal. Can we get to Sault St. Marie and get on the on the Henry Anderson before she sails?
FRASER (automatically): Allen. Henry Allen. (Ray tenses.) Yes.
RAY (pause, then nods): Right. Allen. (looks at Fraser, then gets up and heads for the driver's seat) Come on.
So Fraser still can't get over his pathological niggling impulse, but this time, Ray's able to let himself be corrected. (True attributes this to the power of storytelling on Due South: "Something has been mended between them by Fraser's choice to tell a story instead of give a lecture." And it's true--Ray clearly hates being dictated to and condescended to, he always seems to really like it when Fraser tells him a story.)

They drive off, and--okay, when I said "Thirty-two Down on the Robert Mackenzie" was a lot like a 60s Canadian folk song, I was not accounting for the electric guitar solo.

Henry Allen. Weird slow-motion of Fraser and Ray getting out of the car and walking; Fraser's all rugged in his gray thermal, carrying his tunic under his arm, and Ray is slick as ever in his leather jacket and sunglasses and when did he shave? The captain, Smithers, was a friend of Fraser Sr.'s, and he calls Fraser "Benton boy" and reminisces a bit (there's a dumb thing where Fraser ties a knot in half a second accompanied by "whoosh whoosh" sound effects, but I'm trying to forget that). Fraser Sr. appears to correct the story and Smithers seems to hear and interact with him, sort of, without realizing it. Ray says there may be a killer on board; Smithers threatens to tear said killer limb from limb; Fraser says there's "no need to disassemble this man" (ha!) and that, for now, they'd just like to observe him.

Cut to: Ray and Fraser working as crew! Well, Fraser is digging coal, Ray is just holding a bucket. They're both cute in a frayed sweater (Fraser) and a plaid flannel shirt (Ray, who also has an adorable smear of coal on his forehead).

FRASER: Out here, away from the city, doing good, honest work... Nothing like it, is there?
RAY: In Hell, maybe.


I'm not sure the part Ray is playing in this two-man team is really necessary.

They overhear some crewmembers telling each other ghost stories about another ship which met with the Mackenzie out on the water. Ray looks freaked.

Thatcher, Welsh, and Turnbull discuss Fraser and Ray's mysterious disappearance, amusingly from Diefenbaker's POV (black and white with a sort of deep in a barrel / Charlie Brown teacher effect on the voices).

The ghost stories continue during dinner at the ship mess. Ray looks dubious at the food (which seems like normal enough white bread and butter to me): "Does it come with instructions?" "Open mouth, put in," says Fraser. Funny, that's exactly what Ray said last night. Ohhhh snap, a joke that would work much better if they weren't in the middle of a supertense extended snit! On the other hand, you know, maybe it's fine. I bet Ray likes angry sex. (Fraser kinda seems like he doesn't. Fraser kinda seems like he'd be more comfortable with uncomplicated, same-team, conflict-free lovemaking. But, Fraser also kinda seems like he'd be willing to do whatever Ray wants.) Ray leans in real close to Fraser and whispers, "Keep 'em occupied," before getting up to wander off.

"Gentlemen!" says Fraser to the assembled crew. "There's something I'd like to get off my chest." Everyone's full attention is on Fraser now, and it's clear he has no plan. Then he opens his mouth and busts out with, "Oh, the year was 1778..." Ha! When I name-dropped "Barrett's Privateers" earlier, I didn't even remember that was in here. Yeah, okay, so this scene is weird. Pan over the crew looking dubious as Fraser continues to sing, and then the first guy joins in on "Shed no tears!", and soon enough it's a giant singalong. Whimsy!

Ray hardly seems to notice the sounds of singing behind him as he creeps into a cabin. "Oh, yeah," he murmurs, finding some radar navigation equipment in the closet. He opens the door and there's their guy. Ray haltingly explains that he was looking for the, uh, the skull--"The head?" suggests bad guy whose name I forget. "Yeah. See, I been drinking, and... I'll just circumnavigate myself out this way," he edges back into the hall. Ha. Love you, Ray.

Ray comes back in the mess and sits back down next to Fraser. Fraser leans in, still singing, and Ray whispers in his ear, "I found some electronic gizmos, transistors," and Fraser nods and starts the next verse, leaning in to whisper "Stay here, I'll inform the captain" during the crew's chorus, and it's weirdly intimate and cute how this goes on without breaking the song. But I don't understand how Fraser can do this, as soloist, without rousing suspcion. Everyone is looking at him.


What exactly do they think is going on here?

I further don't understand how Fraser can just get up and leave, even if the song is about to end on a choral part. Wouldn't it be less conspicuous if Ray just went? Oh well, I guess it leaves room for Ray to be in KIDNAPABLE DANGER, and anyway it's probably a waste of my life to try to analyze the "spontaneous whole-crew singalong" scene for logic.

Frannie discovers that the gold bar they found is from a big robbery last year; it looks like Fraser and Ray are in more trouble than they bargained for. Kidnapable danger, people.

Ray hairpin-picklocks his way into a room marked "Communications" for unknown reasons, and is immediately knocked out by some guys lying in wait for him. They cuff him to a pipe. Yes! Sooner than I thought.

Fraser informs the captain that his radar is being tampered with; he notices that the map on screen looks like map on the pirate's chest. A crewman calls out about a ship approaching; the Mackenzie; nothing on the radar; zombie-looking guys on deck. The crew begins to get all angry mob, and Fraser stands up before them to explain that it's a hoax. I love how Fraser's all upset all the time about the criminals Destroying the Reputation of the Brave Men of the Mackenzie.

Anyway, he's able to separate the Bad Guys from the rest of the crew. "Tell me where my partner is." Oh, he noticed Ray is missing? "Why should we?" "Because it's the right thing to do." Fraser Sr. observe "this is where you need the Yank," because he could threaten them with force. But if Ray were here, they wouldn't need to find out where... Oh, never mind. I do like how much Fraser Sr. is all about reconciliation and getting Ray back and being nice to Ray; I mean, assuming he's a figment of Fraser's imagination, it's pretty telling of Fraser's state of mind. (Of course, you can't assume that, because sometimes other people can hear or see him, sort of, in this episode alone, even. But it's still cute if Fraser Sr. likes Ray.) Fraser says "I can do that," and very primly announces, "Tell me where my partner is, or I will kick you in the heads." "Really?" "Well, no," Fraser admits. "Not really." Ha ha ha ha ha. Ha.

The ghost ship guys open fire, and everything is in chaos; the order is given to abandon the Henry Allen. The captain tries to usher Fraser off--"It's a big ship, you'll never find him"--but Fraser insists, "He's my partner, I have to try." As the ship sinks, Fraser runs through the corridors yelling, "RAY! RAY!"

Fraser finds Ray fairly quickly, awake now, mouth taped, still cuffed to a pipe near the floor, water a few inches deep and rising.

FRASER: Ray! (rushes to him, kneels by him)
RAY: Mm! Mm! Mm!
FRASER (hand on Ray's shoulder): I'm going to have to remove your tape.
RAY: Mm.
FRASER: It's probably easier if I do it fast.
RAY (shaking his head): Mm-mm!
FRASER: You prefer that I do it slow?
RAY (nodding): Mmmmm.
(Fraser pulls it off fast.)


Ray prefers that Fraser do it slow.

Ray freaks out when Fraser tells him the ship is sinking, shaking his cuffs against the pipe, and Fraser tries to steady him with hands on his arm and shoulder, asking where his handcuff keys are. Cut to... later, I guess; the water's risen to just under Ray's chin, and Fraser holds up keys he's apparently retrieved from scuba missions in Ray's pockets, letting Ray identify them: "Apartment. Old apartment. Locker. Don't know. Don't know." Fraser's annoyed at Ray's disorganization; Ray's annoyed Fraser's annoyed. Fraser puts a plastic box overturned over Ray's head to preserve his air (explaining only, "I want you to put your head in this bucket") and dives below to pick the lock.

"FRASER! FRASER!" Ray yells from inside the bucket, panicking. Fraser ducks under the bucket and claps a hand over Ray's mouth to stop him yelling, and ahhh, it's another close, intimate space, and they're all close-faced and wet-haired and radiating angry tension, and, man, this episode will not END with the things I need to recap in great detail.


And screencap.

Ray tells Fraser to get his gun, and Fraser figures out after moment that Ray wants him to shoot off the handcuffs. He dives below the water to search Ray's holster, but reports back that it's empty; Ray knows that, he meant the boot gun. Fraser finally gets it and shoots off the cuffs. Ray stands and stumbles around the room wildly with the bucket still on his head.

Shedding it, he yells at Fraser that their problem is communication. Fraser, placidly: "I thought we communicated remarkably well considering you had a bucket over your head." Ray: "Yeah, well, it's gotta be more like instinct, like breathing." I think Ray is demanding a fairly tall order here. But I guess Fraser has already set the bar high by being on the same wavelength so much of the time; now, Ray expects him to be this amazing mindreader, and the times they clash are unexpected disappointments, while the times he does well--such as apparently correctly understanding "radar equipment" from Ray's description "electronic gizmos" earlier--go unnoticed. Ray goes for a door. Fraser tells him not to open it, Ray snaps, "What?", Fraser snaps back, "All right, Mr. Instinct!", Ray opens it, and water rushes into the room, knocking them both down.

TO BE CONTINUED.

Bottom Line: This episode moves quickly--sometimes it seems a little unnaturally quickly, but it's mostly good--without skimping on the relationship stuff. All of the relationship stuff is fantastic. The rift-making argument arises quite suddenly, but the basic difference underlying it--instinct vs. logic--has been building since day one, for these two. And it feels real and in-character for Ray's anger and exasperation to be vague and unfocused and not particular fettered down by pesky "reasons": he's all ADHD and emotion-driven and it totally makes sense that things would just start feeling wrong for him and he'd suddenly want to bail. Meanwhile, Fraser seems to really want to stay together, but he's walking on eggshells, because he can't predict what will calm Ray down (and that bothers him). It's a surprisingly nuanced conflict, considering this is a teleplay cowritten by Paul Gross (burn). It's also homoerotic as hell, which is unsurprising considering it's a teleplay cowritten by Paul Gross (anti-burn; you know I love it).

 

3x12 Mountie on the Bounty (Part 2)

Welsh isn't concerned about the gold--he just wants to find Fraser and Ray. On the ship, Ray gets a cell phone signal just long enough to call the station and report the Fraser-supplied coordinates 47 latitude, 85 longitude; but with the interference, Welsh, Thatcher, et. al. only hear 47-85, and don't know what it means. The phone runs out of batteries and Ray throws it away. The two of them bicker while trying to find a way out. Fraser penknifes into a ventilation duct as the water rises up, cutely pulling Ray up with him by the leg/waist/arms. Shortly thereafter, he falls through the duct into another room ("Ray!" he calls, as if Ray can do anything); Ray falls after him, then water starts pouring in from the duct. "Oh dear," says Fraser. "I think we're trapped."

Hughie and Dewey do a bit of banter about how Dewey wants to open a comedy club; show the main baddie's picture to a prostitue Dewey knows.

Ray stands in chin-deep water, muttering silently. Fraser swims up from a scouting mission and informs him their only option is to take a 150-meter swim into the engine room. Ray: "That's an option?!" "Well, no," Fraser admits. "No? What kind of logic is that?" Ray demands. Fraser says it's like Godel's theorem. Ray, getting ever more pissed: "Who's Godel? Godel? Who the hell is Godel?" Fraser explains the "everything I say is a lie" paradox. "So everything he said was a lie and the truth at the same time!" Ray says, still angry. Fraser: "Exactly. See, it loops back in on itself." Ray, angry and excited at the same time: "Oh, loops, I see! This I get! I can go with this!" Ha ha ha ha. I love Ray so much.


It's always time for a philosophy lesson!

"Yes, it's also a function of logic," says Fraser. Ray gets mad again at the mention of logic, saying Fraser always has to "take it one step over the line." Fraser's upset: "Why are you yelling at me?" They yell about whether or not Ray is yelling at him.

Finally Ray ends it by confessing, "I can't--I can't swim." He mentioned this before, but I guess it slipped Fraser's mind. Fraser blinks. "Yes. Well. I suppose a lesson is what's called for right now." He tells Ray to think of himself as a flower that blooms by day and closes at night, demonstrating, "bloom, close" with his arms. With his legs, Fraser says, Ray should just kick, "like you're interviewing a suspect." Ha!

Here we go, the long underwater scene. Fraser pulls himself along the corridor; Ray struggles along behind him. "Mm-mm! Mm!" says Ray, and Fraser pauses to help, pulling Ray along by the shoulders. They reach a door, and Fraser's trying to get at it and unlatch it, when he notices that Ray is sort of drifting away, his eyes closed. Fraser swims up and pats him urgently on the face. Ray's eyes open, and Fraser turns his own head and presses his mouth to Ray's.


This scene is so dark that it's hard to cap (the movement is mainly what makes it possible to understand what's happening), but I'll do my best.


That dark area is Fraser's head.


Bubbles indicate the passage of time.

Fraser breaks the liplock, gives Ray an "A-OK" gesture, and swims off. Ray is all wide-eyed now.


What the hell just...?

Fraser gets the door open and swims through; Ray follows, but he gets stuck, his foot is caught on something in the door, and he's panicking, "Mm! Mm!" Fraser returns to cut him free and pulls him along, giving up on personal space as the situation becomes more dire: grabbing him first by the shirt, then the waistband of his pants, then just holding him firmly around the bare waist.


The cinematography in this whole scene is very Ray's-ass-centric. Not to complain.

Finally they surface and take deep gasping breaths.

RAY: What was that, Fraser?
FRASER: What was what?
RAY: That thing you were doing with your mouth.
FRASER: Oh, that. That's buddy breathing. Ah, you seemed to be in a bit of a, well, having a problem, I have excess lung capacity, so...
RAY: Buddy breathing.
FRASER: Standard procedure. RAY: Well, good. Okay. All right. Nothing's, like, changed or anything, right?
[Ed. note: AHAHAHAHA. LOVE IT. Also, he does this great hands-coming-together gesture on the word "changed".]
FRASER: No.
RAY: Okay.
FRASER: Yeah.
RAY: Thanks.
FRASER (smiling): You're thanking me?
RAY: Don't get too excited, Fraser, the jury's still out on this partnership thing, okay?
FRASER (smile is smug, bitter): Don't worry, Mr. Instinct, I'm not excited.
[Sparks fly from somewhere, and Ray ducks below the water in fear.]

Hughie and Dewey do a bit of banter about how Hughie wants to own a drum machine; they catch the main baddie in his apartment.

Cut back to the ship, where Fraser is strapping fire extinguishers to Ray's back as a "propellant." Sure. Fraser tries to calm Ray by saying he's done similar things before, but Ray's not convinced.

RAY: Come on, Fraser, just tell me the truth. Just say, 'I'm gonna endanger your life, Ray, my friend, I'm gonna endanger your life in a wildly bizarre way.'
FRASER: All right. Ray, my friend, I'm going to endanger your life in a wildly bizarre way.


Ray, you don't look comforted.

Okay, the next part is stupid. They zoom out of the water on their jetpacks. Somehow they're flying right next to each other, even though they're not attached in any way. "Look, a golden eagle!" says Fraser. Sometimes I hate this show.


EXCELSIOR!

Ray notices they're slowing down. "That would be gravity." Once again, they fall from a great height, screaming and legs flailing. Once they hit the water, Fraser gripping Ray by the shirt to keep him up, Fraser sees the criminals' ship in the distance, and coaches Ray to swim toward it: "Bloom, close, kick 'em in the head. Bloom, close, kick 'em in the head."

Welsh, Thatcher, and Frannie question the baddie, Frannie apparently attempting to channel Ray, going all tough interrogator and calling the suspect names like "ashtray" and "hairbottle." The suspect is confused.

Cut to Fraser helping Ray climb up onto the ship. They make their way behind some kind of raised platform and hide. Men in ghost disguises patrol the deck.

The 27th cops identify the big bad, the CEO of the company that runs the "ghost ship." Dewey suggests that he and Hewey combine their natural talents, "I do the joke, you do the rimshot." Legitimately amusing moment where Dewey tries to tell an example joke and Hughie cuts him off with an ill-timed rimshot.

Fraser and Ray scale down on ropes into the cargo hold where baddies are loading up a submarine. Hiding behind some barrels, Fraser tries to spy, and Ray complains about being there, "There we were, having a leisurely swim, doing the bloom-close, bloom-close..." They're interrupted by the approach of a patrol guy; Fraser begins to plot, "I think we can divert him if I, on the count of three--" Ray just punches him out. "Or, well, yeah. Do it your own way," says Fraser.

Fraser goes around tasting selections from the barrels, identifying toxic waste--oil, PCBs, arsenic. "Fraser, spit it out," Ray urges. "A little arsenic can't hurt you--" Fraser begins, reacting to Ray's slight eyebrow raise by automatically bringing his fist up to punch someone coming up behind him. Looks like they're communicating pretty well now. Fraser's already sold on the criminals being bad for dumping waste, but Ray also finds a pallet of gold bars. Ray wanders off while Fraser is talking about "an ecological disaster of unimaginable proportions" to look at and touch the gold.

Thatcher realizes the numbers they got earlier were coordinates. She and Welsh compare a map of the area near the coordinates to the map on the pirate's chest. "The open sea is calling me back!" says Welsh. Sure.

Fraser and Ray knock out some guards and steal their clothes (adorable oversized sweaters and beanies). Almost immediately, though, the guards' bodies are found, leading to several baddies reporting "Two naked seamen!"


One question, why did they leave the naked seamen like this?

Fraser and Ray make it into the submarine during the diversion.


Enjoy the hat now, because Ray will shed it at the first opportunity.

FYI, we're only halfway through the episode.

Thatcher in dress reds machete-hacks her way through a thicket with Welsh in tow. There's some terrible comedy with Mounties being bad at hiding. "New recruits," Thatcher explains. The recruits' commanding officer, Thorn, is played by the mom from Corner Gas. She cryptically says she hasn't seen Thatcher since "the Incident," and agrees to help her find her men.

Fraser and Ray are cramped into what appears to be a one-man submarine, Fraser at the wheel and Ray stuck right behind him. Fraser assures Ray he knows where they are, unless his calculations are off, in which case they're "hopelessly lost." Ray, annoyed: "Oh, see, this is what I love about you, Fraser. That real positive, you know, everything's-gonna-work-out-fine kinda attitude. It really butters my muffin." Fraser, dryly: "Thank you, Ray." Fraser Sr. appears behind Ray, scolding Fraser gently, "You're too logical and dispassionate. It's too hard on him." Fraser turns to look wide-eyed at his ghost dad. Ray, in between them, is immediately uncomfortable with Fraser's stare.


Seriously, I think something might have changed.

RAY: What are you looking at?
FRASER (after a slight pause): You.
RAY: ... Come on, keep your eyes on the road. Just... (to himself) Lookin' at me, what...

Thatcher explains to Welsh that Thorn believes strongly in turning the RCMP into a naval power. You know, because the U.S. is down there. At any rate, she has a boat. A clipper ship. Right, we had to get to the Bounty at some point. So I guess Thorn is supposed to be Bligh.

Ray badgers Fraser into admitting they're lost. "Go that way," says Ray. He isn't actually gesturing or anything, nor is Fraser facing him anyway, so I'm not sure how he's even indicating the direction. Fraser asks why, and Ray says, "I got a feeling. It's a hunch, it's a feeling." Fraser doesn't want to change course for no reason, and Ray yells, "Just this once! I trust you, every single time, I gotta trust you, just once, you trust me!" Fraser Sr. tells Fraser to do it, telling a story about one time when he and Buck Frobisher were in a fight, but they found themselves facing each other across a river, both being chased, knowing the only thing to do was to meet in the middle. "You go to trust your partner, Son. Otherwise, nothing will go right." Fraser swallows and glances out a window. "That way?" Ray, visibly relieved: "Yeah. That way." The submarine turns. That was a pretty nice scene. Well-done on tension and making this silly decision into a big life-or-death friends-or-not situation.


Plus, it helps that they are back-to-chest and sweat-soaked.


In an enormous phallus.

Insane Thorn speech ("This may be your only chance to die for your country! Or at least be maimed or something!") followed by a majestic shot of the Bounty with Mounties hanging all over it.

Fraser gets the ship on his radar. "Ray, prepare to surface." As the submarine tilts upward, the back of Fraser's head is pressed into Ray's face, and there's a little this-is-ridiculous smile which I'm pretty sure is all Callum.


Sometimes you just have to wonder exactly what life decisions have led you to this moment.

With Hughie and Dewey's help, Frannie cruel-and-usually talks at the suspect until he caves and tells them everything. He was with the thieves who busted the reserve, but while flying low (under the radar) over the lakes, they were blown down by a storm and the gold sank. It took them awhile to get it up again, and in the meantime, they had to make sure nobody came near, so they created a "mini Bermuda Triangle" with the whole ghost ship ruse.

On board the Bounty--which I guess is a replica, since it's mentioned it was built by the recruits--Fraser has changed into a borrowed uniform (although Ray is still in his oversized stolen sweater). Welsh reports that Hughie and Dewey confirmed that the freight company dumped the toxic waste to finance the reserve job ("Thank you for that expository information, sir," Fraser lampshades), but the coast guard is still three hours away, so "it's up to us," says Fraser. Ray: "Fraser, why is it always up to us?" Thorn says she can get them back to the baddies' boat in 33 minutes.

Sails are set, and Fraser stands heroically at the wheel with his father. Fraser Sr. is all excited about being on the open sea: "The roll of the waves, the glare of the sun, the exhilaration of the wind, dinner with the captain, Polynesians... It's romance! It's got the feel of romance about it, Son!" Montage: Thorn admires Welsh's heave-ho form. Ray walks with a blonde female Mountie. Thatcher says, "Fraser......... I'm glad you're alive," and hits Fraser so hard he falls off his ropes. Turnbull tells another (male) Mountie, "I find you an incredibly aggressive young man." Welsh and Thorn kiss. Fraser and Thatcher kiss. Ray and Girl!Mountie kiss. Turnbull and his friend armwrestle. Dief licks the ear of another dog who is there for some reason. Fraser's voice: "I find this very odd. It's high noon and the sun is setting." "That's romance, Son!" And, uh, that's all the explanation we get.

Yeah, I probably would have left that part on the cutting room floor.

Ray doesn't think their plan to go right up to the baddies' boat is a good one.

FRASER: Well, Ray, imagine yourself at sea. Suddenly you find yourself set upon by members of the Royal Canadian Mounted Police and the Chicago Police Department in a vessel that is a replica of the HMS Bounty. Wouldn't you be surprised?
RAY: It depends.
FRASER: It depends? On what?
RAY: On if I could see it coming!

They come up alongside the baddies' boat and fire cannons. Electric guitars and Paul Gross's countrified singing voice--they're finally playing the complete version of "Thirty-two Down on the Robert Mackenzie." Fraser and Ray climb up the ropes, nod at each other, fire grappling hooks out of harpoon guns, and ride the cables to the other ship. Fraser spots the main baddie I guess. I've sort of lost track of who is who. He points him out to Ray. "I'm right behind you," says Ray.

The other Mounties, etc. board as well. Silly part where Thorn deflects some bullets with a sword and rescues Captain Smithers. Welsh and Thatcher punch some people.

Okay, so now we're back in the cargo hold with all the barrels, but this time, instead of bickering, Fraser and Ray just communicate nonverbally - Fraser points where he wants Ray to go; Ray gestures back and heads off.


No idea what it means, but they do, and doesn't that make it all the more impressive?

Fraser is inspecting some dynamite when the bad guy appears behind him, a gun pulled on him. Fraser tells him he is under arrest. "Am I missing something here?" "Only that I have a partner who should be showing up just about now." "Hi," says Ray, appearing behind him, and punching him in the face. "Thanks for coming," says Fraser. "I was in the neighborhood," says Ray. Fraser tries to give him the gun, because they're technically still in United States waters (for the next 83 seconds), so he can't fire a weapon. Ray, exasperated, tells him to just hold it.

They're both inspecting the dynamite when another guy arrives, the one who caught Ray in his room earlier. Ray stands up, putting his hands up. "It's me. Uh, still alive. See, I been drinking, more, and I was looking for the, uh..." Heh, nice callback. While Ray has him distracted, Fraser throws the gun at him.

They work in sync to disable the explosives; but the MAIN MAIN big baddie's voice comes on over an intercom, telling them they've wasted their time, he has a remote control detonator. Fraser and Ray do their nonverbal thing again, and both of them duck around, taking different positions in the cargo hold. They take turns distracting the big baddie by talking to him until they catch sight of each other through a gap in some barrels. Fraser points to his eyes. Ray shakes his head. Fraser does it again, then holds up one finger. Ray pauses, then nods.


No idea what it means...


But they sure are pretty when they understand each other.

Looking at his watch, Fraser announces to the Big Bad, "You're in the Dominion of Canada," and heroically busts through the barrels. Ray throws his gun across the room. Fraser catches it and shoots through the masks of the scuba suits the baddie is going for, then shoots the detonator out of his hand. Fraser gives a final speech about the brave men of the Mackenzie and hands Ray back his gun.

Wrap-up on the Bounty. Thatcher tells Fraser not to worry about some paperwork, "just this once." As she walks off, Ray walks up. Fraser and Ray look at each other silently, a look of, so, we have to deal with this now? Fraser walks to the rail and Ray joins him. Fraser Sr. shows up and says, "Buck Frobisher and I stood across from each other on the banks of that river, and we knew, without even speaking, we knew we'd come to the same conclusion, that sometimes you just have to make a leap, son. Sometimes you just have to leap." Fraser tells Ray logic doesn't always work; Ray tells Fraser instinct doesn't always work.

RAY: You gonna take the transfer?
FRASER: I don't think so. (Ray nods. Fraser looks down.) You?
RAY (quickly, looking away): Me? No.


We'll have the conversation, but we won't look at each other or nothin'.

FRASER: All right, so we're... we're still, uh...
RAY: I think.
FRASER: Okay.
RAY (overlapping): Good.
FRASER: Right you are.

They turn from the rail and then look at each other, and suddenly they both get these huge, beautiful beams on their faces, and they're laughing, relieved and happy and just enjoying each other's company. The sun sets over the Bounty.


And that's romance.

Bottom Line: What an insane episode. The slash content is really kicked up a huge notch here, even by this show's standards, even from the last episode--with the buddy breathing, "nothing's changed?", the phallic submarine, "lookin' at me," "you got to trust your partner," the climactic Battle Scene of Nonverbal Communication and Implicit Trust, sunset smiles. There's also a lot of goofy stuff like jetpacks and the whole thing with the Bounty and sunset at noon that is a little too surreal and dumb. But that's the nature of the show. It'll make you quirk your eyebrow and go, "...Really." But it'll also fill your heart with the joy of Fraser and Ray's Love.


I think that's fair.